Well, this certainly isn't the first time my nervous verbosity has caused confusion. Allow me to turn the dial back a bit.
We're going to be roommates. I'm looking forward to that and hope we can be friends, but not in any sort of a sexy way. I'm straight. I'm sorry for making things weird.
I'll be making dinner later, you're welcome to have some if you're around. Again: not a date sort of thing. Just a roommate thing.