Private
There are many levels to a koan. Every word, every phrase, each line, each group of lines, the entire thing; meanings in every part. Not always the same meaning.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
The fear does not go away. It touches us, leaves a mark, a path, that we can see if we look for it inside ourselves. We can let fear be the mind-killer, or we can accept that it is part of us, yet we still remain who we are. We can face our fear, but not let it be the driving force in our life. The pirates I hunt have taken to calling me Black Ice, because I do not let them see where the fear has gone through me.
The true mission of a soldier is to kill people and break things. Anything else is panoply and parades. I am very good at my job. The three basic reactions of the lower primates to a threatening situation are; Threaten back, posture, counterattack. Run away. Submit/play dead. In a hypothetical situation, that insures at least 1/3 of the population will have made the correct choice and survive. A rational being will reason out many other possible solutions to the problem. A soldier is part of that first primitive third. Like spacers, we look at things with different eyes. Then, too, I mentioned what we had become. Part of being human is knowing that sooner or later your life has a definite end. I ceased aging when I was nineteen, when I became what I am. When I do die, it will be because something or someone has killed me. Fortunately, given my chosen profession, that takes a bit of doing.
In my universe, there was only limited exploration of space. It was not for most of us. We had put a stop to our endless war, and fallen directly into another one. Not a pleasant place. I have a daughter. Her father. Others of my blood. Friends. If there was a way to bring them all here, I would do so, and live quite happily with the endless possibilities. I have been here over 28 years. I have not left, and none of them have arrived. In the end, you go on.
Anger or praise seem to be of no concern to Him. If we have a soul, and I have been gathering bits of evidence over the years that seems to imply we do, I think that is our only link to something greater. While we have our free will, will we someday be judged on how we have used it? I have come to believe that is so and try to act accordingly. Pay Him a visit in his own back yard. You may surprise yourself.