The Grand Design : Random

( All my senses awaken to the changes, And I feel alive inside my own skin, All my reasons tell just how strange it is, Coming home to a place I've always been )

( Sometimes sad songs don't feel so sad to me )

( I created you from dirt and this is how you pay me back )

( Private to Shinkana, Minzy, London, Adam, loyal Imps, and all Legion Infernals )

( Private to Abel )

( Gift War )

( Let's go back and find The simple world we knew )

My sister, below just posted lyrics she sang in church last Sunday. We're not of blood relation, but she's my sister and I love her. She inspires me. I only wish I was as strong as her. I just keep messing up. Her voice is all that's keeping me together. Such strong words for such a small person to sing. Sometimes I think I'm not fit to breathe her air.

Dear Lord,
I’m on my knees again
I come to you because you understand.
I’ve tried so hard, but I just can’t change myself
That’s why I know I need your help.

So here I am, this is my plea,
My only hope is your love for me.
I’m reaching out so desperately.
Come take my hand, take all of me, just as I am.

The timeless theme
Earth and heaven will pass away
It’s not a dream
God will make all things new that day
Gone is the curse from which I stumbled and fell
Evil is banished to eternal hell

You know it's true
there's not much you can do
but just try and ride it through

let love carry you
only love
can bring you down
only love
brings you back around

take this advice...
these words from the wise
to know of love's sacrifice...
is a truth of living life

and only love
can bring you down
only love
brings you back around

with every drop of life inside us
with every heart we've left behind us
everywhere you'll find
it's only love
brings you back around

( Per vivere, non si può vivere senza passato )

Oh, brother, brother, brother

I know you've been layin back a long time

But I love you like no other

Oh, brother of mine

I've been watching everything you do

And I've been wishing only good for you

All you've got to do is just want it to

And it's gonna - it's gonna come to you

Oh, brother, brother, brother

I know you've been hangin' on a long time

But I love you like no other

Oh, brother of mine

You have always been so good to me

And though you didn't always talk to me

There wasn't much my lovin' eyes could not see

and I don't believe you need all your misery

Oh, brother, brother, brother

I know you've been hangin' on a long time

You know I love you like no other

Oh, brother, brother, brother

Talkin' about you, brother

Damn this song
And if we're meant for someone
To wait each day for someone
When will they come, that someone?
And put things in their place...

I love the tone of Glen's voice, smooth as his guitar with just the perfect amount of raw. I recommend the film "Once" to anyone.

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice

You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing it loud

Which way to the fountain of my youth I wonder
Which way to the years I've let go by
Let a thirsty man drink in its memories while the water still flows sweet and crystal clear
For yesteryear

Oh to see the sun's eclipse
on the horizon like ships
sailing way away from here
Oh just one more time my dear
Before I'll go hear me out
Cos of this there ain't no doubt
When it's time for curtain call
Just before the shadows...

Fall like a leaf in the wind on the ocean
Of blue like your eyes in the twilight theater
With symphonies playing in the world without sound
We're given and denied

Give me back my innocence cos I wish to dream again
Like I never outgrew my old playground
Where the sun sets slowly with a golden crown and the leaves sing lullabies 'round vacant swings
Give me those wings

Let me fly once again
Like I did way back when
I would gamble and win
To lift me high above the din
Of the future we see
Does it hold something for me
I'm weightless again
Just before the shadows...

Fall like a leaf in the wind on the ocean
Of blue like your eyes in the twilight theater
With symphonies playing in the world without sound
We're given and denied

Before I'll go hear me out
Cos of this there ain't no doubt
When it's time for curtain call
Just before the shadows...

Fall like a leaf in the wind on the ocean
Of blue like your eyes in the twilight theater
With symphonies playing in the world without sound
We're given and denied

Emily will find a better place to fall asleep.
She belongs to fairy tales that I could never be...
And the future haunts with memories that I could never have.
Hope is just a stranger, wondering how it got so bad.

I die each time you look away.
My heart, my life- will never be the same.
This love will take my every thing.
One breath, one touch- will be the end of me.

I don't like the steps I took
To get to look into your deepest feelings
But I don't like the place I'm in
Head space within the hardwood and the ceiling

'Cause if I'm restless then why do I
I want nothing but to rest my soul?
And I don't get this and I know why
You see sometimes things are just beyond control

But I don't mind
But I'm not surprised to find that you do
I'm not surprised to find that you do
I know you do

And I feel fine
But I know the same does not apply to you
I know the same does not apply to you
So I guess that I'll curl up and die, too

Clinging to the remnants of perfection
Like most do after they break it
Not knowing which directions the correct one
Do I discard or remake it?

'Cause if I don't know then I don't know
But I may know someone who knows me more than I
And if I somehow could rest this soul
Maybe control can find it's way back to my life

I don't mind
But I'm not surprised to find that you do
You see I know that I have done all this to you
To you

And I feel fine
But I know the same does not apply to you
Yeah, I know the same does not apply to you
So I guess that I'll curl up and die, too

Yeah, I'll curl up with you until I die with you
Yeah, I'll curl up with you until I die with you
Yeah, I'll curl up with you until I die with you
Yeah, I'll curl up with you, my baby
Yeah, my darling until I die with you
Yeah, I'll curl up with you until I die with you

( Lyrics from Unexpected by John Beech )

( I have it all under my command  )

The Marine stood and faced God, which must always come to pass. He hoped his shoes were shining, just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, Marine, How shall I deal with you ? Have you always turned the other cheek ? To My Church have you been true?"

The Marine squared his shoulders and said, "No, Lord, I guess I ain't. Because those of us who carry guns, can't always be a saint.I've had to work most Sundays, and at times my talk was tough. And sometimes I've been violent, because the world is awfully rough. But, I never took a penny that wasn't mine to keep. Though I worked a lot of overtime, when the bills got just too steep. And I never passed a cry for help, though at times I shook with fear. And sometimes, God, forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place, among the people here. They never wanted me around-except to calm their fears. If you've a place for me here, Lord, it needn't be so grand. I never expected or had too much, but if you don't? I'll understand."

There was a silence all around the throne, where the saints had often trod. As the Marine waited quietly for the judgment of his God.
"Step forward now, Marine, you've borne your burdens well. Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets, for you've done your time in Hell."


I can't claim I'm a God believing man but I've seen the ones I've loved taken from me in an instant. I hope there is something greater for them, because the trials we face in this life can be tough. It was a friend of mine I met before deploying to Iraq that told me this saying and it stuck with me every time I heard those bombs go off in the distance. I don't know if there is a God...but if there is? I hope he is merciful. Maybe I should try going to church or something.
I can't shake these night terrors now.

Sometimes I can't decide which song I'm feeling more. So here they all are.

Sometime we break promises without realizing we did. And sometimes when you put songs together they make a story.
( Why )


( Fix You )


( Last Time )

( A Twist in My Story )

So, I was reading an article about a robber today.
Apparently, he tried to rob a Best Buy- steal a laptop. When a clerk tried to speak to him, he pushed the guy to the floor and pulled a knife, threatening him before running outside. Now at the time of this robbery there were four Marines stationed outside supporting our Toys for Tots drive.

Can you see where this is going yet?
Anyway, the robber tries to charge pass the Marines but by this point- from all the yelling and mess- they've figure out what's going on. When the Marines attempt to halt the robber, he stabs one of them in the back while swinging wildly then attempts to fight them.

The robber was stopped and sustained "two broken arms, a broken leg, bruises, a few broken ribs, a broken nose, a broken jaw, and a broken ankle- injuries he sustained from falling off the curb, stated the Police Chief.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a new term: falling off the curb now means getting your dumb ass handed to you by a group of Marines.

I personally got a chuckle out of this, though I'm not sure who else will.
Oorah!