Re: Private to Mr Scott-Wilde
I think he already knows it. And I think if anyone really believes and thinks this way, like if he did, and he might, he reminds me of you, how you talk, he better hang the fuck on tight, really damn tight, because it's too late now. That's how I feel. It won't be changed. It's permanent like a scalding hot brand deep inside me that I smiled for when as it was burned in my damn heart. So unless he wants to give himself one last reason to hate himself just little bit more he'll never let go. EVER. Because I'll do it. He better think of his damn safety every time he walks out the fucking door without me and in every footstep he ever takes. Because IT IS TOO LATE NOW. There's not a choice he makes that doesn't affect me now. And if that's a suffocating terrible feeling for me to love him, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING BAD FOR HIM. Sorry about his damn luck. He's stuck with me and my stupid suicidal brain either way. I live for him. Period. Now he's gotta deal.
But either way, I don't know how that would make him feel believing that but I know how it SHOULD make him feel. I know it should make him feel damn special. If I'm really as special as he says I am and he loves me the way we're talking about and trusted me at all, he'd know that sort of thinking just isn't needed, like at all. That's what love is. It takes someone and cradles them and ALL their flaws and doesn't care, and forgives everything. That's what the word UNCONDITIONAL means. That's a damn big word. And sorry but I have to disagree with something.
How can you love someone without loving yourself?
Fuck that man.
If that was truth and standard to make relationships happen the earth would lose it's population really damn quick. I mean... dude. seriously? Sometimes it takes the help of others to help you see what's inside yourself. He did that for me. I could never have realized I was worth anything inside if it wasn't for him and I know he doesn't love himself the way he should and he's loving me so superbly. To me, what you're describing isn't your/his failure. It's mine. I'm the one that needs to do my part now and show him his worth, just like he did me.