svelosynco (svelosynco) wrote in thegrand_ic, @ 2012-04-30 07:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | darrius eastwood, taj habib bahar |
Who Taj and Dally
Type Aim Chat
When April 29th
What Taj admitting he hates the military and everything about it. Dally casting hints on "feelings" he needs to get straightened out about Taj. Talk of Taj's plan to go to Finland. Mentions of Kareem and Andy and a lost love still back in the "sandbox"
Warnings Language. Lots of unease between 2 brothers.
Status Complete
(8:04:25 PM) tajmuhull: yo bro. I think K's in labor
(8:04:45 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Uh...what?
(8:05:08 PM) tajmuhull: eh. he left some breathing post online. sounds like he's in lamaze class or something
(8:05:17 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Hahahha. Oh. That song.
(8:05:19 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Hahah!
(8:05:24 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Geez, you had me worried.
(8:05:58 PM) tajmuhull: I'm still going to pick on him about it
(8:06:01 PM) tajmuhull: it's my duty
(8:06:07 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Of course. I expect nothing less.
(8:06:24 PM) tajmuhull: Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(8:06:27 PM) tajmuhull: how ya?
(8:09:03 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Mm. Good, I suppose.
(8:09:11 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Can't say much, really. Enjoying a bagel.
(8:09:35 PM) tajmuhull: Hmm. I...
(8:10:04 PM) tajmuhull: stayed in a the great wolf lodge last night
(8:10:08 PM) tajmuhull: very expensive
(8:10:13 PM) tajmuhull: yeah
(8:10:16 PM) tajmuhull: they had
(8:10:19 PM) tajmuhull: a treehouse
(8:10:25 PM) tajmuhull: and hmmmm
(8:10:32 PM) tajmuhull: anyway.
(8:10:51 PM) tajmuhull: If you get a text from a new number, don't ignore it
(8:10:55 PM) tajmuhull: it might be me
(8:11:09 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Hm? New number?
(8:11:10 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Uh..
(8:11:14 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Did you lose your phone?
(8:12:19 PM) tajmuhull: nope. I still got it. It's just I know it's got GPS on it. so I know work knows where I am. and I'm pushing it as it is. as long as I'm not being barged in on, I know they'll live and deal when I get back. but, I might throw the dice on one that they might take too kindly to
(8:12:29 PM) tajmuhull: you know me. gambler
(8:12:43 PM) tajmuhull: might not be able to stop myself if Casper agree to it
(8:12:48 PM) tajmuhull: agrees*
(8:13:09 PM) Darrius Eastwood: .....
(8:13:18 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You know I don't like where this is going.
(8:13:26 PM) tajmuhull: I might get one of those prepaid phones so they can't tell where I'm at
(8:13:38 PM) tajmuhull: I want to surprise Casper, if he'll go
(8:13:42 PM) tajmuhull: and take him home
(8:13:52 PM) tajmuhull: to Finland
(8:14:01 PM) tajmuhull: or at least somewhere snowy
(8:14:03 PM) tajmuhull: heh
(8:14:15 PM) tajmuhull: but I'll have to carry him
(8:14:21 PM) tajmuhull: while flying
(8:14:26 PM) tajmuhull: I can't get on a plane
(8:14:30 PM) tajmuhull: no passport
(8:14:53 PM) tajmuhull: thought I might leave my cell in a hotel so work doesn't know I left
(8:15:05 PM) tajmuhull: I just wonder how long I can push that with the phone not moving
(8:15:13 PM) tajmuhull: before they realize something is up
(8:18:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Guh, just...
(8:18:50 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Jesus, just be safe.
(8:19:09 PM) tajmuhull: yeah. ok. um. He's kinda wanted over there. Sooooooooooo.
(8:19:17 PM) Darrius Eastwood: If shit hits the fan, I'll see what I can do/
(8:19:47 PM) tajmuhull: mhm. We gotta lay low. I just wanna do something real special for him. I can tell he misses it
(8:20:10 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You should be special enough in my opinion.
(8:20:59 PM) tajmuhull: hmmm. He doesn't know I'm thinking about this yet. He seems happy. I just... really want to do something extra. He's really helping me out right now.
(8:21:07 PM) tajmuhull: hey dally?
(8:21:12 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Yes?
(8:21:18 PM) tajmuhull: Have you ever told someone you loved them?
(8:21:24 PM) tajmuhull: I mean besides us?
(8:21:26 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You mean-
(8:21:28 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Mm.
(8:21:37 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Well...
(8:21:38 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Yes.
(8:22:04 PM) Darrius Eastwood: But I don't even known if he came out of Iraq alive or not. He was human as far as I knew. You just didn't talk about being different.
(8:37:10 PM) tajmuhull: well. maybe you should look him up now that you're out?
(8:37:14 PM) tajmuhull: and find out
(8:48:28 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Mm...I don't know. I mean, what if he's just moved on, huh?
(8:49:05 PM) tajmuhull: You can't know if you don't find out. Won't it kill you more if you simply just sit and not know? I mean...
(8:49:11 PM) tajmuhull: if it was real love that is
(8:49:21 PM) tajmuhull: I can't see sitting around and doing nothing
(8:49:27 PM) tajmuhull: if I felt that strong
(8:49:37 PM) tajmuhull: that's me.
(8:49:52 PM) tajmuhull: I put my whole heart and soul into who
(8:49:58 PM) tajmuhull: I feel for
(8:50:09 PM) Darrius Eastwood: There are very few things I am afraid of, Tata.
(8:50:09 PM) tajmuhull: It's taken me a long time to realize some things
(8:50:12 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Love is one of them.
(8:50:20 PM) tajmuhull: I understand.
(8:50:29 PM) tajmuhull: It's as painful as it is good
(8:50:34 PM) tajmuhull: trust me on that
(8:50:39 PM) tajmuhull: but logically
(8:50:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: A part of me feels like he's still there, in the sandbox.
(8:50:48 PM) tajmuhull: you're in pain anyway
(8:50:52 PM) Darrius Eastwood: And damn, I want to go back so bad.
(8:50:55 PM) tajmuhull: so what's the difference
(8:51:04 PM) tajmuhull: if you actually feel as you claim
(8:51:13 PM) tajmuhull: maybe he is?
(8:51:22 PM) Darrius Eastwood: And then what do I do?
(8:51:22 PM) tajmuhull: I can't believe you didn't get a contact
(8:51:27 PM) tajmuhull: find out
(8:51:28 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Sit and twiddle my thumbs.
(8:51:31 PM) tajmuhull: no
(8:51:34 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I have the contact information.
(8:51:40 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I could get ahold of him.
(8:51:45 PM) tajmuhull: I can find out if you can't
(8:51:49 PM) Darrius Eastwood: And believe me, I've dialed the number but I hang up.
(8:51:55 PM) tajmuhull: you know damn well all I need is a name
(8:51:56 PM) tajmuhull: heh
(8:52:01 PM) tajmuhull: but oh
(8:52:06 PM) tajmuhull: ok. well then that's you
(8:52:18 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I mean, shit.
(8:52:37 PM) Darrius Eastwood: What if it was just the whole deal of being there for so fucking long and maybe he's out and back home with a girl or something?
(8:52:40 PM) tajmuhull: You have to decide. And I know that's hard. I've spent like what? 4 years so far waiting on Andy
(8:52:58 PM) Darrius Eastwood: How the hell am I suppose to come into his life and say "Oh, by the way, remember how we said we loved each other back in Iraq?"
(8:53:44 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Besides, technically? He could get in big trouble if word got around we had a thing for each other.
(8:53:47 PM) tajmuhull: yeah well. sounds like me and andy still to me. I'm sitting here with Casper and I feel for him in a way that's so new. but I know if I saw Andy with someone - that would feel... so weird
(8:54:01 PM) tajmuhull: bah. don't ask dont tell is over
(8:54:06 PM) tajmuhull: fuck that
(8:54:06 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Not that.
(8:54:10 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I'm his superior.
(8:54:13 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I out rank him.
(8:54:34 PM) tajmuhull: oh screw that too. human laws are ridiculous
(8:54:40 PM) tajmuhull: I mean. seriously?
(8:54:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I know.
(8:54:49 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I'm a dragon.
(8:54:53 PM) tajmuhull: I am so proud of how you feel for your country or whatever it is
(8:55:27 PM) tajmuhull: but really
(8:55:30 PM) tajmuhull: honestly?
(8:55:37 PM) tajmuhull: no offense but the military is stupid
(8:55:59 PM) tajmuhull: sorry. I feel that way
(8:56:01 PM) tajmuhull: but I do
(8:56:07 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I know.
(8:56:49 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I think...I'll poke around.
(8:56:54 PM) Darrius Eastwood: See what I can kick up.
(8:57:44 PM) tajmuhull: you know?
(8:57:49 PM) tajmuhull: really?
(8:58:01 PM) tajmuhull: I always thought I'd hurt your feelings if I came right out and said that
(8:58:13 PM) Darrius Eastwood: No way, kid.
(8:59:30 PM) tajmuhull: I mean here's my experience with the millitary. It takes away my brother. It messes with his head. They have a lock on my life even as we speak just because they're so stupid they can't keep a simple hacker like me out of national security issues.
(8:59:35 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Your opinions are yours to have.
(8:59:36 PM) tajmuhull: you have love issues
(8:59:40 PM) tajmuhull: ptsd
(9:00:10 PM) tajmuhull: history shows more wars than actual protections
(9:00:31 PM) tajmuhull: they seperate themselves as if they are superior to civilians
(9:00:48 PM) tajmuhull: when they're all just normal ass people scared as shit too
(9:00:53 PM) tajmuhull: I know I hear their minds
(9:01:08 PM) tajmuhull: it's just the most ridiculous fake out I've ever seen
(9:01:17 PM) tajmuhull: but I see more than the average joe
(9:01:32 PM) tajmuhull: and all this man-stank adrenaline trying to show off
(9:01:46 PM) tajmuhull: who's rank is above who yelling in faces in basic
(9:02:04 PM) tajmuhull: it's just a dumb way to create respect
(9:02:24 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Mm...
(9:02:51 PM) tajmuhull: sorry. glad I live in a free country and all. but dude? I'm not american. I'm not about countries. I'm about something way larger than that
(9:03:05 PM) tajmuhull: just saying
(9:03:17 PM) tajmuhull: and so is everyone else if they'd open their minds and see
(9:03:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: ....Again, entitled to your own opinions.
(9:03:54 PM) tajmuhull: yeah I'll stop now. sorry
(9:04:15 PM) Darrius Eastwood: It's fine.
(9:04:26 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Like I said, you have the right to your thoughts.
(9:05:04 PM) tajmuhull: yup. so do you. and everyone else. it's the way of things.
(9:05:19 PM) tajmuhull: It's also why I'm alone in life
(9:05:40 PM) tajmuhull: 4 brothers and still no one gets me
(9:05:44 PM) tajmuhull: except Andy
(9:05:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Uh...
(9:06:04 PM) tajmuhull: and he wont let himself love me even when I know quite well he does
(9:06:11 PM) tajmuhull: so where does that leave me?
(9:06:15 PM) tajmuhull: alone
(9:06:20 PM) tajmuhull: until now I guess
(9:06:23 PM) tajmuhull: I have casper
(9:06:27 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Glad to know you think I don't get it.
(9:06:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Have a good night, Taj. Enjoy your vacation.
(9:07:41 PM) tajmuhull: Fine Dally. I'm sorry. I spoke too much. This whole thing has my undies in a bunch.
(9:07:51 PM) Darrius Eastwood: No, no you didn't.
(9:07:57 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You didn't speak too much.
(9:08:12 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You spoke just enough for me to get where the hell you're standing on all this shit and how you feel.
(9:08:24 PM) Darrius Eastwood: That's really all I needed.
(9:08:41 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Fuck, it's like I never should of bothered coming back.
(9:09:04 PM) tajmuhull: aww don't say that
(9:09:13 PM) Darrius Eastwood: This is the same crap that I left and hoped to some high heavens that all of you would figure your shit out while I got myself together.
(9:09:20 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Don't fucking aww me right now.
(9:09:38 PM) tajmuhull: You're here. what is it about the military took my brother away you dont see
(9:09:41 PM) tajmuhull: hurts me
(9:09:51 PM) tajmuhull: and you say you should have never come back?
(9:09:59 PM) tajmuhull: that's great dall
(9:10:02 PM) tajmuhull: real great
(9:10:06 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Yeah? Then why the hell do you feel like you're alone, huh? I mean, without your boy.
(9:10:20 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Fucking mary, Taj, you jumped down my throat when I said that kinda shit.
(9:10:24 PM) tajmuhull: you haven't been here Dally
(9:10:31 PM) tajmuhull: I've been dealing with my shit all alone
(9:10:31 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You think I don't know that?
(9:11:05 PM) Darrius Eastwood: And I was, what? Having a damned field day? You said we weren't so different.
(9:11:10 PM) tajmuhull: I mean K and Chess sure. but K's against the whole deal. And Chess, well you know Chess.
(9:11:17 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You were the one who said we were the same.
(9:11:31 PM) tajmuhull: We are. fuck. we are. I think that's the problem
(9:11:32 PM) tajmuhull: hehe
(9:11:42 PM) tajmuhull: You know what I think
(9:11:52 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Hate to say it, but Kar can suck my big, fat dragon cock.
(9:12:14 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I really don't give two fucking shits what sorta stick he's got rammed so far up his ass that he can't see straight.
(9:12:16 PM) tajmuhull: I think you ran to the Marines cause you were feeling the same thing that's built in me all these past years
(9:12:33 PM) tajmuhull: you were gone. you just admitted it to yourself first
(9:12:37 PM) tajmuhull: you ran
(9:12:43 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Fuck yes I ran.
(9:12:45 PM) tajmuhull: and maybe that's what I'm doing to
(9:12:54 PM) Darrius Eastwood: But I ran to something that would make me better.
(9:12:55 PM) tajmuhull: I think we are the same
(9:12:58 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You're just running away.
(9:13:14 PM) tajmuhull: I don't think so, maybe at first?
(9:13:22 PM) tajmuhull: I wasn't sure.
(9:13:27 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Then what the hell are you doing, Taj?
(9:13:28 PM) tajmuhull: But Casper is making me better
(9:13:40 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Pulling this shit with Casper. Gods...
(9:13:56 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Like I didn't already have enough to give me a heartattack before.
(9:14:13 PM) Darrius Eastwood: It's like I came home and things went to shit in a handbasket.
(9:14:44 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Taj? Listen to me, you crazy mother fucker.
(9:14:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I love you.
(9:15:02 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You get this messed up, whacked shit that's going on in my head.
(9:15:16 PM) Darrius Eastwood: And hey, you know how to beat me at my own games.
(9:15:18 PM) Darrius Eastwood: But...
(9:15:21 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I worry.
(9:15:33 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I worry about you because I never want to see you fall or get hurt.
(9:16:40 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I stuck up for you when I was little and I wouldn't change that now.
(9:16:50 PM) Darrius Eastwood: It's just...you've changed.
(9:16:52 PM) Darrius Eastwood: A lot.
(9:17:07 PM) Darrius Eastwood: And I'm not so sure I can do anything to keep you out of harms way anymore.
(9:21:55 PM) tajmuhull: I haven't changed so much Dally
(9:22:28 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Then why do I feel this divide between us?
(9:24:32 PM) tajmuhull: I think the only difference in me than when we were kids is you hadn't left me before. You were always there. I counted on that. And you took that away when you left. It's selfish. But it's true. I'm so glad you're back it's crazy. I actually cried when I realized you were here. I was that happy.
(9:24:41 PM) tajmuhull: but the other difference right now
(9:24:56 PM) tajmuhull: is I've been messing with my pattern
(9:25:02 PM) tajmuhull: you know MY pattern
(9:25:15 PM) tajmuhull: of not letting anyone in and only being there for Andy
(9:25:25 PM) tajmuhull: and it's - scary
(9:25:40 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I miss you.
(9:25:45 PM) tajmuhull: I miss you too
(9:25:51 PM) tajmuhull: fuck. now I'm crying
(9:26:11 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Tata, don't cry.
(9:26:18 PM) tajmuhull: I don't want to hurt you
(9:26:22 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I'm not worth all that, kid.
(9:26:27 PM) tajmuhull: yeah actually you are
(9:26:52 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Things...well, there will always be things that hurt me.
(9:27:09 PM) tajmuhull: well one of those things should never be me
(9:27:49 PM) Darrius Eastwood: That can
(9:27:54 PM) Darrius Eastwood: That can't be helped.
(9:28:49 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I love you, Taj. Probably more than I should. Just don't go and ruin your life now that I'm back, okay?
(9:29:01 PM) Darrius Eastwood: We have a lot of lake trips and roof tops to catch up on.
(9:29:10 PM) tajmuhull: wait
(9:29:11 PM) tajmuhull: stop
(9:29:19 PM) Darrius Eastwood: And hey, I can speak to you in Arabic now.
(9:29:21 PM) tajmuhull: what do you mean by more than you should
(9:29:27 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Nothing.
(9:29:34 PM) tajmuhull: and I can speak in Arabic :D
(9:29:45 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Mmhm.
(9:29:53 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I think it sounds better from you.
(9:29:54 PM) tajmuhull: and no nothings.
(9:30:03 PM) tajmuhull: spill
(9:30:15 PM) tajmuhull: that's what bros are for. talk to me
(9:30:24 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Hahah. What do you want me to say, Taj?
(9:30:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You know, my code of conduct I just have to give you my name, rank, social security number, and phone number.
(9:30:50 PM) Darrius Eastwood: That's it.
(9:30:51 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Haha!
(9:31:09 PM) tajmuhull: haha. yeah I do. It's part of your charm.
(9:31:15 PM) tajmuhull: but I have a secret
(9:31:22 PM) Darrius Eastwood: What?
(9:31:22 PM) tajmuhull: I know you better than that
(9:31:29 PM) tajmuhull: NOW SPILL
(9:32:00 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Hmm...
(9:32:20 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Gee. Maybe if you were here it'd be different. Kinda easy to keep shut like this though.
(9:32:58 PM) tajmuhull: Hmm.
(9:33:10 PM) tajmuhull: Is that you're way of saying I should come back soon
(9:33:23 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Who? Me? Psssh.
(9:33:24 PM) tajmuhull: and I'm so missed because I'm the best brother ever
(9:33:28 PM) tajmuhull: ehehhehehehe
(9:33:45 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Now where did you get that idea?
(9:33:47 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Haha.
(9:34:44 PM) tajmuhull: hmmm. idk. you're lucky I don't go snooping around in your mind at my leisure. one day I'm going to gain control of this gift and go on a new road trip
(9:34:50 PM) tajmuhull: all up in your head
(9:35:34 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Mm. It'd be a mine field, Tata.
(9:37:08 PM) tajmuhull: I don't mind. I'd probably try to be like the guy who diffuses bombs - risk all to save the whole building
(9:37:39 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Aah, you would.
(9:38:22 PM) tajmuhull: I hear they get paid big bucks and hardly work at all
(9:38:26 PM) tajmuhull: but when they do
(9:38:31 PM) tajmuhull: the risk is so great
(9:38:37 PM) tajmuhull: pay day still just rocks
(9:39:05 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Ah, you.
(9:40:41 PM) tajmuhull: ah MEEEEEEEEEE. HEY. hold on. Let me find you something. I wanna show you.
(9:40:48 PM) tajmuhull: it's funny
(9:40:51 PM) tajmuhull: let me find it
(9:41:12 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Alright, kiddo.
(9:42:27 PM) tajmuhull: Im not a kid anymore. <3
(9:42:41 PM) Darrius Eastwood: You are to me. In a way.
(9:44:18 PM) tajmuhull: Hrm. I'll have to prove that different then
(9:52:12 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I look forward to it, Tata.
(9:58:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Come back soon, alright? I miss you.
(9:59:23 PM) tajmuhull: well one. I had to get new glasses. http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m39or
(10:00:12 PM) tajmuhull: I'm going to turn him into a rock star lolol
(10:00:24 PM) tajmuhull: and I will. I can't stay gone forever
(10:00:30 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Heh. Have fun.
(10:04:28 PM) tajmuhull: you're supposed to say more than that brother
(10:04:38 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Alright, kiddo.
(10:04:43 PM) tajmuhull: why do I get the feeling everyone is humoring me with this casper thing
(10:04:57 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Well, I like your glasses. But I don't know what to think about this Casper kid.
(10:08:49 PM) tajmuhull: you haven't even met him
(10:08:56 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Exactly.
(10:09:05 PM) Darrius Eastwood: And he's already runnin off with my little bro.
(10:09:19 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Kinda a bad start. Haha. But I'm pretty forgivin.
(10:12:49 PM) tajmuhull: hmmm. idk. It was my idea to leave tho. Jsyk
(10:13:10 PM) tajmuhull: but then again I said let's wait till morning
(10:13:13 PM) tajmuhull: and he said
(10:13:15 PM) tajmuhull: let's go now
(10:13:17 PM) tajmuhull: HAHAHA
(10:14:58 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Heh. Crazy kids.
(10:34:58 PM) tajmuhull: Hey Dally. You're not really upset are you? About Casper I mean?
(10:36:18 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Why?
(10:36:33 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I doesn't matter, kid. You're happy and that's what counts.
(10:41:52 PM) tajmuhull: because that's just it. It matters to me
(10:42:01 PM) tajmuhull: that's not all that counts
(10:45:13 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Well, I'll work it out, Tata.
(10:45:54 PM) tajmuhull: hey you. that's what I'm trying to do by talking
(10:56:17 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Hahah.
(10:56:44 PM) tajmuhull: you're laughing at me
(10:57:02 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Nah, I'm laughin at myself.
(10:57:11 PM) tajmuhull: for what?
(10:57:22 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Being strange.
(10:58:25 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I don't want to get in the way of you and Casper, alright?
(10:58:33 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I don't know what to think of him, really.
(11:02:49 PM) tajmuhull: yeah but, if there's something to get in the way of I want to know. My brothers have always come first. Even all these years you were gone. Granted I've never thought of someone like I do Casper, so it was easy to drop dates like flies if anyone had a beef.
(11:02:57 PM) tajmuhull: but I still wanna know
(11:03:31 PM) tajmuhull: That's never gonna change
(11:05:43 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I'm not sure what to say, exactly. When I don't know what's exactly going on in my own head.
(11:06:15 PM) tajmuhull: maybe you could just sorta try? it's ok it if it comes out wrong. YOu know I dont judge that stuff
(11:07:22 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I don't have much thought on this Casper guy, really. Don't completely like him and I think he's kinda dangerous for all of us but...
(11:07:48 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Me? My thoughts towards you are...jumbled. Think I had one too many bombs go off near me.
(11:09:21 PM) tajmuhull: I suppose you're right. He is. but wait. towards me?
(11:09:32 PM) tajmuhull: I didn't mean to hurt your feelings earlier
(11:09:36 PM) tajmuhull: really I've
(11:09:43 PM) tajmuhull: just been in a weird phase
(11:10:16 PM) tajmuhull: I think I'd die if I thought you and me weren't on the cool
(11:10:28 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Heh. It's alright, kid.
(11:10:50 PM) tajmuhull: no. it's not. That pact still means everything to me. I don't care if we were just kids
(11:11:12 PM) tajmuhull: We have to be ok. you and me.
(11:11:20 PM) tajmuhull: we have to be more than ok
(11:11:26 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Then we are.
(11:14:19 PM) tajmuhull: you promise?
(11:14:24 PM) tajmuhull: you know I can sense lies
(11:14:31 PM) tajmuhull: dont try to play me
(11:14:33 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I know, Tata.
(11:14:44 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I just gotta get my head on straight.
(11:14:46 PM) Darrius Eastwood: But we're good.
(11:14:55 PM) tajmuhull: you keep saying that
(11:16:02 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Because I mean it?
(11:20:09 PM) tajmuhull: I mean about getting your head on straight. I'm always there to help, if you'd only ask. that's not somthing you have to do alone. Whatever it is. I think you and I have spent enough time thinking we're alone in the middle of all this
(11:20:30 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Heh. True...
(11:20:35 PM) Darrius Eastwood: Just let me think, okay?
(11:20:54 PM) tajmuhull: okay Dally. I love you. Just dont forget that.
(11:22:55 PM) Darrius Eastwood: I know you do, Taj. I love you too. A lot, alright?
(11:49:55 PM) tajmuhull: alright Dally. I do know.