Solomon Julian Charbonneau (julesignacio) wrote in thegrand_ic, @ 2012-04-15 20:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | jeremie charbonneau, jules charbonneau |
Who Jules and Jeremie
What 2 AIM Chats put together - mostly about London
Warnings Language
Status Complete
SJulianIgnacio: Uh babe?
(1:35:17 AM) SJulianIgnacio: S.O.S
(1:36:23 AM) Jeremy Castelle: What's wrong?
(1:37:08 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I sent London a message
(1:37:16 AM) Jeremy Castelle: What did you say?
(1:38:01 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I can show you. I'm just... I was trying to help. I don't want to keep making things worse. her response baby. I don't know what to say without making it worse
(1:38:36 AM) SJulianIgnacio: London. I was hoping you might return to the church and come see me, have a chance to see Potato your daughter. I'm not going to assume anything of your reasons. I realize you might be in a tight spot and can't. But, I need you to know I won't be found there for much longer. Jeremie and I are leaving. I'm going to be very honest with you right now. Your daughter has been blessed and baptized and some very miraculous magic was performed by a group of angels, a saint, and a white witch to make this happen. Your daughter has been temporarily safe-guarded from Hell. I hope this thought can ease the pain just a little of what you must be feeling from her absence. Her white wings are beautiful. She cooed, just like a little bird the other day. I thought you might want to know. But, the main thing is, I need you to know even though I won't be found here in town anymore, I need you to remember what I told you. Please don't forget. If ever you want to see me, just pray, I'll hear you. I won't leave you London. If you have any questions about any of this please don't be scared to respond. We're safe talking here.
(1:38:42 AM) SJulianIgnacio: that was me of course
(1:39:20 AM) SJulianIgnacio: Well Jules if I was being bluntly honest...and I'm gonna be I've just gotten a tad pissed off! And yeah no it doesn't ease any of my pain! You have no fucking clue what I'm feeling Jules...no one stole your child and refused to giver her back. Thanks for telling me all the things she's doing...you are torturing me do you know that? I hope you feel fabulous in knowing you're driving a young mother insane!
My heart is now completely broken. I hate you so much...you've only driven me closer to him It hurts...
(1:39:23 AM) SJulianIgnacio: that's her.
(1:39:26 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I mean fuck baby
(1:39:37 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I don't know how to not make this harder on her
(1:40:31 AM) Jeremy Castelle: She's still in his grips. She's not going to come around. At least not right now.
(1:40:39 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I wouldn't have expected anything different.
(1:40:59 AM) SJulianIgnacio: she just seemed to want help in that church tho
(1:41:05 AM) SJulianIgnacio: she just got scared
(1:41:18 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Or he did something to her. Maybe punished her? Who knows.
(1:41:19 AM) SJulianIgnacio: now I'm worried it's too late
(1:41:22 AM) SJulianIgnacio: idk
(1:41:47 AM) SJulianIgnacio: what should I say?
(1:42:50 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I don't know what else I can do. I just wanted her to know how to find me
(1:43:11 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I don't understand her tone. It's so bizarre. As if the only issue is that a baby is missing from its mother.
(1:43:25 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Can they really make people completely overlook what they are?
(1:43:34 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Be careful.
(1:43:38 AM) Jeremy Castelle: It could be a ploy to make you feel bad.
(1:43:38 AM) SJulianIgnacio: yes baby they can
(1:43:53 AM) Jeremy Castelle: She may be trying to say what would make you sympathize the most, make you falter.
(1:44:02 AM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah. maybe so
(1:44:07 AM) SJulianIgnacio: fuck man
(1:44:13 AM) Jeremy Castelle: You feel bad for her as a mother. You're revealing information to her.
(1:44:22 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I just dont want it worse for her
(1:44:39 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I just dont know how to make it better
(1:46:34 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I'm not sure I would have ever said more much than that it's unfortunate that she's chosen a path that takes her away from her child. We protected the baby from a life of evil, but we can't just snatch up a grown adult. She's not innocent. Don't forget that either, Jules.
(1:55:14 AM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah. I guess. I just...
(1:55:23 AM) SJulianIgnacio: feel like I'm suppose to reach out
(1:56:05 AM) SJulianIgnacio: i'm talking back to her
(1:56:11 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I didn't think I should at first
(1:56:15 AM) SJulianIgnacio: but I'm gonna
(1:56:20 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Be careful, alright?
(1:56:22 AM) Jeremy Castelle: She's not herself.
(1:56:27 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Maybe she never was.
(1:56:34 AM) SJulianIgnacio: maybe
(1:57:32 AM) Jeremy Castelle: this might be one of those hard decision moments, if she's really determined. Where we have to let her go for now in order to make sure Potato stays safe.
(1:57:36 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I hope you're prepared for htat.
(2:01:49 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Hey.
(2:01:51 AM) Jeremy Castelle: What's going on?
(2:06:17 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Jules.
(2:07:21 AM) SJulianIgnacio: Yeah? sorry. I was getting like I get when I get worked up writing a reply
(2:07:32 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I uhhhhhh. might have gone off.
(2:11:27 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I do know that feeling actually. I have had a child stolen from me from someone in Hell who refused to give them back. My child was treated like your child would be if in your care, like a slave to Satan. Your child is being loved even if it's not by you right now. But you know what London? If you're only torture is your separation from her maybe you're where you belong? Your pain should also be coming from the fact your child will be living a tortured harmed and unfilled life in Hell. We've stopped that from happening. If that doesn't bring you any sense of peace inside even a grieving mind, you are lost. I just hope for her sake, you wake up someday and give her the love she deserves, for her. Not just angry YOU are missing out on something.
(2:11:31 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I kinna said that
(2:11:33 AM) SJulianIgnacio: heh
(2:11:35 AM) SJulianIgnacio: heh
(2:11:38 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I do that
(2:15:15 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Heh.
(2:15:18 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I know you do, baby.
(2:15:21 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I'm proud of you.
(2:15:44 AM) Jeremy Castelle: You know what she will probably say.
(2:15:57 AM) Jeremy Castelle: He's different. He's nice to me.
(2:16:11 AM) Jeremy Castelle: He doesn't deserve this.
(2:17:33 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I just like you're proud
(2:17:55 AM) SJulianIgnacio: sometimes I think you dont approve of my outbursts
(2:17:56 AM) SJulianIgnacio: heh
(2:18:23 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Oh, but that was a good one. That was very sexy.
(2:18:56 AM) SJulianIgnacio: sexy?
(2:19:11 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I was sexy again without cooking?
(2:19:19 AM) Jeremy Castelle: You were. Imagine that.
(2:19:24 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I like that
(2:19:41 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I think I like tough Jules.
(2:19:58 AM) SJulianIgnacio: well she pisses me the fuck off
(2:20:06 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I'm trying to help her selfish ass
(2:20:17 AM) SJulianIgnacio: and she can't even see it
(2:20:53 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I know they're good
(2:21:01 AM) SJulianIgnacio: damn fucking demons
(2:21:04 AM) SJulianIgnacio: but shit man
(2:21:06 AM) SJulianIgnacio: that's her kid
(2:24:49 AM) Jeremy Castelle: The truth might be that she's brainwashed into wanting her kid to be raised to be one of them.
(2:25:31 AM) Jeremy Castelle: But. Whether she can see it or not. Wanting to inflict that kind of torture on an innocent soul is a horrible sin.
(2:26:51 AM) Jeremy Castelle: But Jules, I have another concern now.
(2:27:02 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Now that you've done this, they know we're on the move.
(2:27:08 AM) SJulianIgnacio: Yeah I know
(2:27:13 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I thought of that before I did it
(2:27:18 AM) Jeremy Castelle: If they find us they could try to attack before we can leave.
(2:27:41 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I know. I know. I just... it didn't feel right.
(2:27:48 AM) SJulianIgnacio: to not at least try
(2:28:09 AM) SJulianIgnacio: Just dont hate me if something bad happens
(2:28:28 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I know giving her the opportunity was the right thing
(2:28:29 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Nothing bad will happen. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be sleeping much tonight.
(2:28:50 AM) SJulianIgnacio: she's made her choice tho
(2:29:27 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I'm not sayig you shouldn't have talked to her. I'm saying that was a little too much information. We can't trust her.
(2:31:07 AM) Jeremy Castelle: No, in fact... it's too risky. We have to spend the night on the farm.
(2:31:20 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Potato has to stay there. No buts.
(2:31:25 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Right away.
(2:33:51 AM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah ok. but fuck baby. first I was sexy now you're upset again and I the one that did something wrong.
(2:33:57 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I hate my life
(2:34:52 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I'm not upset atyou.
(2:34:57 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I didn' say that, did I?
(2:35:18 AM) Jeremy Castelle: I'm worried about you, too. If they did get in they're not just going to take the crib and leave. They're going to retaliate.
(2:35:54 AM) SJulianIgnacio: you're telling me I did it wrong
(2:35:57 AM) SJulianIgnacio: same thign
(2:35:59 AM) SJulianIgnacio: thing
(2:36:56 AM) Jeremy Castelle: But isn't it my job to look out for you? Hmmm?
(2:37:56 AM) SJulianIgnacio: I guess. Idk. I just get tired of hearing I'm doing everything wrong
(2:38:16 AM) Jeremy Castelle: You're not. Just relax.
(2:38:36 AM) Jeremy Castelle: Everything is going to be fine very soon. Well... not /fine/ I guess... but safe. It'll get better.
(2:39:07 AM) Jeremy Castelle: It won't be fine as long as London is still as she is and the father is running loose.
(2:42:47 AM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah
---------------
(2:59:37 PM) SJulianIgnacio: mother fuck I'm an idiot
(2:59:48 PM) Jeremy Castelle: What happened?
(3:00:06 PM) SJulianIgnacio: Why didn't I think this through before? London died
(3:00:11 PM) SJulianIgnacio: right in front of us
(3:00:24 PM) SJulianIgnacio: and here I am talking to her like nothing
(3:00:36 PM) SJulianIgnacio: She's not just on a soul contract
(3:00:41 PM) SJulianIgnacio: She's mother fucking immortal
(3:01:07 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I am so stupid
(3:01:23 PM) Jeremy Castelle: What does that have to do with anything? So she's no different from anything else we've fought.
(3:01:37 PM) SJulianIgnacio: no. but this changes how someone thinks
(3:01:56 PM) SJulianIgnacio: She's got a whole different mind frame than a mortal human
(3:02:07 PM) SJulianIgnacio: and I'm trying to talk to her on that level
(3:03:28 PM) Jeremy Castelle: So you're still at it? Why, though? Especially if she has such an intensive contract, she is obviously far down in the dark side.
(3:04:10 PM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah. that's what I'm realizing
(3:04:31 PM) SJulianIgnacio: she's a whole different creature now
(3:04:41 PM) SJulianIgnacio: you're a saint cuz you held your humanity
(3:05:01 PM) SJulianIgnacio: this goes back to you talking to me about always seeing your vampire
(3:05:07 PM) SJulianIgnacio: with her it's like me
(3:05:20 PM) SJulianIgnacio: she's practically in a demon's mindset of immortality
(3:05:23 PM) SJulianIgnacio: not a humans
(3:05:32 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I've gone about this all wrong
(3:07:07 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I'm playing on completely different field than she's running on
(3:07:10 PM) SJulianIgnacio: fuck
(3:07:30 PM) Jeremy Castelle: What are you going to do, then?
(3:11:11 PM) SJulianIgnacio: no more playing sentimental nice guy
(3:11:15 PM) SJulianIgnacio: that's all
(3:11:24 PM) Jeremy Castelle: What are you saying to he?
(3:11:25 PM) Jeremy Castelle: r
(3:11:37 PM) SJulianIgnacio: people like that don't respond to it
(3:14:44 PM) Jeremy Castelle: What's going on?
(3:16:00 PM) SJulianIgnacio: oh nothing.
(3:21:35 PM) SJulianIgnacio: just.. heh heh heh. I got her to admit she doesn't know what to think about signing the contract anymore
(3:21:39 PM) SJulianIgnacio: see
(3:21:44 PM) SJulianIgnacio: gotta be mean
(3:21:47 PM) Jeremy Castelle: I want to see.
(3:22:08 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I'm not using what happened to my child as justification for yours. Jumping to conclusions like that helps nothing. But I'm glad you're being honest. Now start doing that with other aspects of your life and you might just get somewhere.
(3:22:42 PM) SJulianIgnacio: Yeah because honestly works so well with demons! I know I'm a fuck up okay? I know I should have known better then to sign a contract with a demon but I did! Do I regret it? more when he disappers and doesn't love me I don't know. Honestly I have no idea what I think anymore. tell me this can't be hacked and I'll feel better You jumped to conclusions with me...it's not fun is it?
(3:22:51 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I never told you to be honest to the demons or Caim. Just to yourself and if you can, me. But yourself the most. That's your ticket out. That's your ticket to help her, to help anything at all. Do you think I just show up every now and then to fuck with you London? Give me a break. They can't hold up the act of love forever London. Not when it's not real.
So far I haven't really been wrong. You're a smart girl. You might catch on.
(3:23:20 PM) SJulianIgnacio: but, heh. I think I forgot to tell you something else
(3:23:43 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I got into an arguement with Caim's half-breed son
(3:23:48 PM) SJulianIgnacio: a week or so back
(3:23:55 PM) SJulianIgnacio: and he blew up my computer
(3:24:09 PM) SJulianIgnacio: and apparently he's been hacking our shit for awhile
(3:24:28 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I'm doing everything now from a normal laptop publically
(3:24:45 PM) SJulianIgnacio: but I had to get a secret secure system elsewhere for work
(3:24:53 PM) SJulianIgnacio: and private things
(3:25:09 PM) SJulianIgnacio: He may have gotten all the photos of me naked
(3:25:10 PM) SJulianIgnacio: heh
(3:25:32 PM) Jeremy Castelle: You didn't tell me that why??
(3:25:34 PM) Jeremy Castelle: that's kind of important.
(3:25:40 PM) SJulianIgnacio: you weren't around. Ikd
(3:25:41 PM) SJulianIgnacio: idk
(3:25:46 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I forgot
(3:25:55 PM) Jeremy Castelle: And I think London is wishy-washy. She doesn't sound like she has any clue what she's doing.
(3:27:36 PM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah. but that's how I know there's still a chance
(3:27:44 PM) Jeremy Castelle: I know.
(3:27:57 PM) Jeremy Castelle: I wonder what it is he used to appeal to her anyway.
(3:28:12 PM) Jeremy Castelle: It doesn't seem like she's exceptionally devoted.
(3:34:01 PM) SJulianIgnacio: You said with other aspects of my life...they are in my life whether I like it or not. I'm going to hell, I will be tortured forever and there is no changing that. I've accepted it. I thought it was real and true...and it does feel real.
I don't know anything anymore Jules. I mean I think that was clear when I got pregnant with a demons child. I mean come on a couple months ago I didn't know demons and angels truly existed. I knew vampires did...got myself mixed up with one of them years ago.
You think I'm smart? Jules that might be the first thing you're wrong on. Caim is the only person I have right now and as it is...keeping him happy is the only way to live. I however think I will be spending the next couple years regenerating when he finds out about Cordelia Thanks asshole
(3:35:51 PM) Jeremy Castelle: She still sounds like she's only arguing to save her own skin. Get the baby back so that Caim doesn't hurt her.
(3:36:01 PM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah
(3:36:53 PM) Jeremy Castelle: I don't know what to think.
(3:37:07 PM) Jeremy Castelle: I think you're right. We should look at this as having taken a baby from a demon. We wouldn't ever consider giving her back.
(3:38:15 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Unless you have a notion of how to break a contract, and you think you can convince London to forgo immortality.
(3:38:33 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I've given that thought too.
(3:38:45 PM) SJulianIgnacio: look what god did for you
(3:39:12 PM) SJulianIgnacio: If I could just get her to think
(3:39:20 PM) SJulianIgnacio: open her damn mind
(3:39:28 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Maybe so. But God met me halfway. I spent my entire life in misery clinging to humanity. Do you think one moment of clarity will be enough?
(3:41:04 PM) SJulianIgnacio: no. but I just keep thinking if I could get her to focus on the child instead of what caim might do to her and her own fears, she would see. open her eyes. If she could just see baby? I gave her the tools before. I'm not sure she's ready to use them
(3:41:12 PM) SJulianIgnacio: sacrifice
(3:41:14 PM) SJulianIgnacio: herself
(3:41:19 PM) SJulianIgnacio: for the child
(3:41:31 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I told her where to go
(3:41:38 PM) SJulianIgnacio: to be safe, contract or no
(3:41:45 PM) Jeremy Castelle: What do you mean?
(3:41:45 PM) SJulianIgnacio: and she knew I would let her see her
(3:41:47 PM) Jeremy Castelle: where to go?
(3:42:06 PM) SJulianIgnacio: to the holy grounds of the church, like claiming santuary
(3:42:14 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Oh, I see.
(3:42:23 PM) SJulianIgnacio: no contract is pulling her out
(3:42:43 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Be careful there. What if the demons hire someone who can enter a church to attack and get the baby?
(3:42:46 PM) SJulianIgnacio: her life would be sacrificed to raising the child and living forever there
(3:42:49 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Even as a vampire I coucld walk into a church, remember?
(3:42:57 PM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah. but still
(3:43:03 PM) SJulianIgnacio: it's the intent
(3:43:12 PM) Jeremy Castelle: I don't want you to go alone.
(3:43:17 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I'm trying to change her mindframe
(3:43:26 PM) SJulianIgnacio: ok?
(3:43:32 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Yeah, and she could tell them everything you say and set up a trap.
(3:43:51 PM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah. well there's nothing they can do to me hon.
(3:43:58 PM) SJulianIgnacio: not poofing in and out
(3:44:07 PM) SJulianIgnacio: and
(3:44:19 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Don't be so sure. It worries me.
(3:44:26 PM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah
(3:44:29 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I know
(3:44:30 PM) SJulianIgnacio: but
(3:44:31 PM) SJulianIgnacio: but
(3:44:35 PM) SJulianIgnacio: look
(3:44:52 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I gotta try something? You're the one that made me look more at london
(3:45:01 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I wanted to keep potato for ourselves
(3:46:00 PM) Jeremy Castelle: It's just. With this development, I'm realizing she's even more dangerous than she seemed. Shes not just a misguided girl. She actually got something powerful out of this deal.
(3:46:19 PM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah
(3:46:25 PM) SJulianIgnacio: so what are you saying?
(3:46:30 PM) SJulianIgnacio: I should give up on her?
(3:52:16 PM) Jeremy Castelle: I don't know... just. I think this shifts her further into the "enemy" category.
(3:52:26 PM) SJulianIgnacio: really?
(3:55:21 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Yeah. I know it's hard, but sometimes in war there are casualties.Sometimes you have to sacrifice some casualties to save a lot more. What I'm saying is... don't let her have anything until she really, really proves that she's changed. Make her earn it. Don't just let her see the baby out of a sense of obligation to the mother. If what she needs to do is sacrifice herself for her child, then make her do it before she even has the chance to destroy what we've already done.
(4:01:03 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Plus, imagine the point you can get across if you let her know that she's a danger to her own child.
(4:01:44 PM) SJulianIgnacio: yeah. ok baby. I get what you're saying. I had to think on that one.
(4:01:52 PM) SJulianIgnacio: but I think you're right
(4:02:13 PM) Jeremy Castelle: Okay.
(4:02:16 PM) Jeremy Castelle: I know it's hard.
(4:02:35 PM) Jeremy Castelle: You want to be kind. But sometimes being kind won't help. Sometimes people need firmness.