Kate (lost_lass) wrote in thegardensic, @ 2017-01-18 12:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | asa, finn, gabe |
Who: Asa/Puppy and OPEN
Where: Treehouse Isle
What: moping
Mars had managed to heal her neck after Mercury had finished gnawing on her, but the trauma for Asa hadn't been the pain. In truth, the pain hadn't been that bad. It was everything else that made it so horrible for her. The lack of choice being the worst part. No Imaginary could refuse to let one of the Losts feed on them. It was part of the magic of the island. So far as Asa knew, she was the only one who seemed to mind it. To her, it was rape. Plain and simple. It had taken this episode for her mind to put it all into words in a way that she could begin to process, but that was exactly what it was. It was a loss of bodily autonomy. The fact that there was a sexual-pleasure component, at least when the Lost doing the feeding wanted there to be, only made that worse.
She was pretty sure she was the only one who saw it that way, and she wasn't sure why. Meerkat certainly didn't seem to mind, and Froggy didn't even seem to notice. She didn't know why it bothered her so much when it didn't bother anyone else. She thought it might be because the rest of them had been here for a while, certainly been here long enough that they didn't have the same sense of what was and wasn't rape. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe if she hadn't been raised to believe that she had final say in everything that happened to her body, that she had the right to say NO to anything she didn't want done to her, maybe then it wouldn't bother her either.
The problem was, no one else saw it as a violation of her self. Back home, if she was raped, her family would have supported her. Would have fought for her. Here, she was just expected to take it, and take it, and take it again. And it was wearing on her. Wearing her down. Slowly killing her. She didn't need someone else to tell her that she'd get used to it or that it wasn't that bad. She didn't know what she needed, but definitely not that. In fact, if someone else said something like that to her, they might find themselves on the end of her sword. Maybe she should run away. Maybe she could find a place in the town, although she had a feeling that wouldn't be any better. She was well and truly stuck with no options and it was pushing her ever closer to the edge.
Now she was sitting in her room, her arms wrapped around her legs, staring off into space. Her hand was absently rubbing her throat where Mercury had bit her and tears were slowly leaking down her cheeks.