master_luke (master_luke) wrote in thegalaxy, @ 2016-06-28 23:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | leia organa (canon), luke skywalker |
Who: Luke and Leia
When: Shortly before this post
Where: Dermos
What: Family things
Rating: PG
Leia entered the courtyard and looked around. There had been a great deal of work done since the last time she’d been here and she couldn’t help but smile. Maybe this time Luke’s dream would become a reality, she thought. She’d been looking forward to this visit for a few days now and after speaking with her birth parents over the weekend, there was even more reason to come visit her brother today. She had a couple of folders in her hands because after all if Luke was busy, she might as well get a little work done and after not seeing him outside, she walked to the small dwelling he’d taken for himself and stopped for a moment, letting herself reach out with the Force to see if he was there. While she still wasn’t completely sure what she wanted to do with her Force abilities, Leia had decided that she should at least use them more, maybe get some simple training. That was another reason she’d planned this trip to Dermos, she hoped to speak with either Master Jinn or Master Kenobi about the best way to go about doing that. Not that she didn’t trust Luke but he was her brother and it might be easier to do that sort of thing with someone she wasn’t related to. Her senses confirmed that Luke was inside and she tapped lightly on the door before opening it. “Luke?” she said. “It’s me.” Surprisingly, Luke had not risen to greet her, but remained for a long moment sitting where he was, head bowed, upon the small mat where he sat cross-legged. When he did lift his gaze, it was slowly, like a mountain shifting over time. But a smile blossomed on his mouth all the same, as always when he saw his sister. “Leia, come in,” he gestured, his arm moving a bit stiffly as he stretched it out to her. Carefully, he rolled his shoulders to dispel any tension there. “Forgive me….I was….deep in thought.” For a moment she had been worried about him and then he had spoken and Leia let out a breath. “I can see that,” she said, putting down the pile of papers she had with her and sitting down. “Are you okay?” Leia knew what the answer to that question was probably going to be because she herself wasn’t okay, not really. There was a lot to process and she still wasn’t sure how to deal with some of it.. “No,” he answered, bluntly but with calm honesty. “Our parents are here, and not as we remember them...if we did at all.” He sounded more tired than bothered in any way. “Speaking with them, I thought at first I would be elated, grateful. Instead, I find that I feel more distant than ever, and I have been meditating on why that is.” His blue eyes sought hers out. “And you, how do you feel?” Leia sighed. “I don’t know how I feel to be honest,” she said softly. “I understand that the man I talked to is not the Vader that I knew. It’s so hard to believe that he did the things I know he did, that I saw with my own eyes.” She shook her head, remembering the sight of her home exploding before her eyes, how she’d stood there, determined not to let Tarkin or Vader see how much it hurt. It would be many years before she could think about that day without crying. Even then she never let anyone see her cry. Han was the only one who ever saw her break down and she kept herself in check as much as she could even with him. “The thing that bothers me is the fact that my parents knew. I always knew I was adopted but they never told me anything about my birth parents. Only that my mother had died in childbirth and my father was dead. There were never any details. I understand why they couldn’t tell me but it still hurts,” she looked down at her hands and twisted the ring she wore around her middle finger. “And Obi-Wan knew. It feels as if everyone knew except us. How did he find out? Vader, I mean. You’ve told me that he knew you were his son but he didn’t know about me. When he he find out who you were?” “He learned about you, from me.” The admission did not come slowly; Luke never held anything back when Leia asked outright. But he had avoided this question for a long, long time. “The first time I faced him in combat….not the first time I saw him, because that was when he killed Obi-Wan. This was….after.” It was part of what he had been meditating on, thinking back about those first interactions with his father, weighing his feelings to see if there had been lingering issues he had not dealt with. The disquiet that his parents’ arrival brought was….unwelcome. “He had learned my name by then. I began to think that this was all planned, that Obi-Wan expected I would someday have to face him and honestly so. So he knew who I was. You recall…..it was the fight in which I lost my hand.” He flexed the metallic fingers, at the thought. “After that, it was only a matter of time before I returned, and too cocky, too sure of myself after Yoda trained me, and I became a Knight. There were no other Knights to measure myself against, and I was the only Jedi known. I tried not to, but some of that went to my head. When I faced Vader once more, it was after I had learned who you really were, and he plucked it from my head as if I had never trained at all.” “You were a little cocky when you showed up at Jabba’s palace,” Leia said but her tone was teasing. “I’m not surprised that he was able to get that from you. I knew nothing at all about the Force then other than things I’d heard or been told but I knew Vader was powerful. I saw him choke people without touching them….I….he was capable of a great deal of evil. That’s why seeing him this way, not much older than we were when we met, it was disconcerting. He seemed so….normal. The thing that struck me though when we were talking is that I could see myself in him and that scared me. If I can see myself in Anakin Skywalker, is it any wonder my son chose the path he did, trying to emulate what Anakin Skywalker became?” Leia had thought of little else since that night, it had haunted her dreams and she couldn’t help but wonder where Ben was right now...no, not Ben…Kylo Ren...she corrected herself. Just as Vader had destroyed Anakin Skywalker, Kylo Ren had done the same to Ben Solo. Although he wanted to comfort her, Luke felt that right then, it wouldn’t do the most good. Instead, he said, sympathetically, “I have been struggling with the same questions. He was, by all accounts, a good man and a good Jedi. Just like Ben.” He did not like to invoke her son’s name, knowing the pain it brought her, but he would not fear it either. “It brings to light that we cannot truly know what we will do when faced with our greatest tests. I am old enough now that I felt assured I would never struggle with the Dark Side again. But I was wrong fifteen years ago, and I wonder if I am wrong now. Anger leads to the Dark Side, but also does fear, doubt…..grief.” Leia nodded. She could certainly understand that. “I know. I am not as strong as you, I haven’t had the training that you’ve had yet I can see how easy it would be to give in to the Dark Side, to let all the grief I feel for Han and for Ben to consume me. I can’t...I won’t let that happen.” a note of determination crept into her voice. “I’ve decided that I want to explore my Jedi side more. I was always afraid to do so, afraid that I would find out I was too much like our father but now I see that it’s a part of me I can’t ever ignore. I don’t want to be a knight, I’m far too old for that but I would like to learn more about the Force, to find out what I’m capable of because I don’t really know.” “Leia..” he chided. “Why would you ever say that you are not as strong as me?” Luke shook his head. “It’s not true. Your strength might be different, but it’s no lesser. I know also from studying those that came before that it’s not the strength of the connection to the Force that determines if a Jedi will become a great Master.” He straightened up, shed some of the sadness as he always did when someone in need came to him. “I would be glad to have you come study with us on Dermos. What you do with it is up to you, but I think it will help a great deal. You may become a Knight yet.” She didn’t like seeing the weight of sadness on Luke’s face. Leia knew some of the things that bothered him for they bothered her too but there still a great deal that she didn’t know and might never know but she smiled when he said he’d be happy to have her on Dermos. Luke was a great teacher, of that she had no doubt,. “I won’t be able to be here a great deal, I have too much to oversee on D’Qar but I want to learn, I want to find a way to use these gifts. Maybe I can help someone somehow.” Leia sat back on the chair and sighed. “I’ve offered refuge on D’Qar to some members of the Senate who weren’t on Hosnian Prime when it was destroyed. So far only one has arrived but she seems determined to try and rebuild the Republic all alone if she has to.” Leia made a face. “And yes I know what you’re thinking. It sounds a lot like me when I was younger but I don’t think there’s much of a chance of rebuilding it. It was falling apart long before Starkiller Base destroyed the Hosnian system..” Leia wished she had answers as to how to fix things but she didn’t. The First Order wasn’t the answer, that was easy to see but a divided Republic wouldn’t work either. “I hope what you’re doing here, what we’re trying to do with the Resistance will be part of the answer if not the whole answer. I don’t know but all we can do is try.” She paused for a moment. “I talked to our mother. She’s exactly what I always thought she’d be, smart, kind, beautiful...there were so many things I wanted to ask her about the Senate in her time, ask her if there was any way she could help us but I don’t know if this is the right time. If the wrong people knew they were here, you can imagine what might happen.” Luke listened avidly, although the emotion in his eyes could not be banished completely. “There are differences, this time,” he allowed, “when it comes to the Senate and the war. You have more Jedi, for one.” His smile was fleeting. “As for our mother….the one who is here now, she’s from before our father’s fall. It wasn’t so during my first, and last, meeting with her. She had no memory of that, so now, this will be the first time, once more.” It was another layer in the spate of troubling emotions he had been meditating on. He would need to tell the story again, watch her face as the past was revealed, and if she was still herself, it would be very difficult for them both. “How much do they know?” Leia asked. “I didn’t want to bring it up, I only know that they know about Vader, and where we grew up. They don’t know the whole story about our birth, do they?” Leia herself hadn’t know it for many years and she could only imagine how much it would hurt Anakin and Padme to know the whole story. She couldn’t help but smile slightly at Luke’s remark about the Jedi. “Well even one would be more than we had before. Although I’m grateful for the ones we do have now and for the new ones that will be training.” She was glad that Luke had decided to come back, to try this again, she knew that it meant a lot to him and she do whatever she could to help him succeed. “They have spoken with Obi-Wan, so he would tell them what they needed to know.” And that, also, had brought troubling emotions, among them, strangely, jealousy. It was so foreign, it had taken Luke a long time to name it, and then it took him so by surprise that he had not dealt with it as yet. “He, as he is here, is much closer to them in age, and history, than to either of us. A strange reversal, is it not? He knows us not at all, and instead our parents as his recent friends.” And understanding the bereft feeling did not diminish his sympathy for them in this strange situation, nor his happiness for Obi-Wan’s second chance at connecting with his own padawan. “It is strange. I never expected to meet them and certainly not to be older than them when I did.” Such was the way of things though. The Rift took people from many times and places and she was grateful that at least she got to meet them. “I’ve spoken with Obi-Wan and it’s funny, you and I have such vivid memories of the brief time we knew him, he was such a huge influence on both of us yet he only remembers us as babies. Sometimes I don’t know what to say to him to be quite honest.” “In a way, he’s not the same person we knew at all. He is….a stranger.” His serious mein gave way to a small smile. “Not that we do not understand and trust who he is, but you do see my meaning, Leia. We do not even have the shared past with this Obi-Wan. Nothing from Tatooine, or aboard the Falcon, or the Death Star….it’s meaningless to him.” His attempted to make his tone sound contemplative, rather than sad. “However, I said much the same to Anakin….they are not here to change the past, or even relive it. There must be a different reason.” “No, he’s not the same person, you’re right,” Leia shook her head. She had no guesses as to why the Rift did the things it did or why these people that they’d only known by name had suddenly appeared in their lives. “I’m waiting for you to tell me that it’s the will of the Force,” she said with a small grin.”because that’s really the only thing I can come up with and that’s much more like something you would say than something I would say.” Luke smiled despite his poor feelings. “You should practice saying it,” he teased. “I have found that it is useful in the most varied circumstances.” ”I think I will but if I did, some of the people who work with me would probably think I’ve lost my mind,” she smiled but she was watching her brother’s face intently. “Is there something else wrong? I feel as if there is something else on your mind other than our parents’ arrival.” Leia wouldn’t begin to hazard a guess as to what it was but she could sense that there was something else at play here. “There is, although this has….dominated my thoughts.” Another piece of his calm had been pulled away, now couched with worry, fear, doubt. “I saw Morganna again.” Leia tried not to react but she knew that was no use. Luke would sense her surprise. “You did? On Naboo?” Leia couldn’t imagine where else he could have seen her so it had to be.” I lost track of her years ago, after I had heard that her son had died. I found her name on a list I got of some people from the Rebellion who were known to still be alive. I had no idea where she was. I just had her name. I hadn’t tried to find anyone yet. I got it just after….” her voice trailed off as it always did when she thought of what had happened just a few months ago. She still had a hard time saying the words. “Han died.” Luke watched the emotions play over his sister’s face, not offering a distraction yet. She needed to be allowed her feelings as they came up, and he wouldn’t take that away from her. At the same time, he was surprised this time when grief squeezed his heart, as if the news had come fresh. His mixed emotions about his parents, and Morganna, had left him with less defense than usual. And Han’s death was an ache that would not go away any time soon. “On Naboo,” he confirmed, a bit low. “She’s….well.” It was not much of an explanation, but he had little he could say. “Poe knows more, as he is her contact. It was an unexpected meeting.” It took a moment for Luke’s words to sink in. Morganna was on Naboo which didn’t entirely surprise her since she knew Addy was there and they were in contact but she’d never mentioned her sister’s whereabouts. But the rest...:”Morganna is Poe’s contact?” Leia sat back and shook her head. “I had no idea. I knew he had someone on the inside that was giving him intel and we actually have captured a few First Order pilots based on that but I never dreamed…” she stared at her brother, trying to put her thoughts into words. “So she’s working for them and spying for us. We’ve got to get her out of there. It’s too dangerous.” It was easy to say the words but Leia knew that it wouldn’t be easy to convince the other woman to leave. She’d known her for a long time and in some ways they were a lot alike. Leia had no idea what had motivated Morganna to take such a chance but she wasn’t a spy, she wasn’t trained in intelligence unless there was something Leia didn’t know and this was insane. “Or did you already try that and she said no?” “I only suggested. It is not my place to tell her what to do with her life.” Still, worry had plagued him since the meeting, and he’d had to trust that her path would play out as it should. It had not stopped him from wanting to message her once more, but he knew better. “There is little I can do….being who I am, if I even mention her to anyone who I cannot completely trust, it would endanger her. I do believe that she wishes to extract herself, but…” He looked at Leia intently. “This would be a job for the Resistance, not the Jedi.” “That’s true. It would be dangerous. No, you can’t do anything and it seems that she hadn’t intended on me ever finding out that she was there,” Leia shook her head. “I’m not sure if Poe even knows that I know her. He was young when I knew his parents. If I had known, I would have found a way to stop her and of course she knew that.” Despite the fact that things had not turned out the way they’d hoped for Luke and Morganna, she had liked her a great deal. She had tried to keep up with her for a while but things happened and she had lost track of her. Now it seemed that she’d been right in front of Leia for a while now. “Not it’s not your place to tell her what to do with her life but it doesn’t mean you don’t care,” she returned his gaze as intently as he gave it. “And don’t try to tell me that you don’t care because not only do I not believe that but I also know you better than anyone.” “Of course I care,” Luke answered, a little of the farmboy drawl creeping into his tone even after all the years. “I’m not immune to emotions, Leia. I was surprised to see her again, but I had not forgotten about her.” It was said with a small bit of humor among the chiding in his voice, but the undercurrent of sadness remained. “I believe she expected that I would. Perhaps that’s the most damning part of it all. But either way, I would prefer to see her safely out from under the First Order, if we can make that happen.” She could tell by looking at him that seeing Morganna again had hit him harder than he might have expected. “At least now I know that she’s there and I can try and get a message to her through Poe. I’ll give him credit for keeping her secret. I had no idea that she was the person he was getting intel from. She’s done a lot to help us but there are other people who are actually professionals at spying which Morganna isn’t.” Leia knew the other woman was smart and she had the connections to make her cover work but it was also easy to slip up especially with the First Order watching things more closely than ever. “I have a feeling she didn’t want you to know that she was around,” Luke replied, with a knowing look. Morganna would have avoided Leia for some of the same reasons she avoided Luke, and Luke was not one to tell any secrets of hers. They were not pertinent to the Resistance, anyway. “But….anything you can do, without endangering her….I would be grateful.” Leia nodded. “I will see what I can do. The most important thing is to make sure she stays safe. We have a few contacts inside that I can touch base with,. She might or might know them, we encourage our people undercover not to acknowledge one another and in some cases they don’t even know who the others are.” And since even Leia hadn’t known Morganna was there, she had no way of knowing if she’d contacted any of the others. “They can make sure she’s not in any danger without her knowing they’ve done it.” She looked at the chronometer on her wrist. “I need to get back. I wanted to see you, see how things are going but I have a meeting I have to prepare for.” Leia stood up. She picked up the stack of papers she’d brought with her but didn’t realize she’d left one behind. “I hope we can see each other soon when I’m not in a hurry.” “And in what year can I expect that to happen?” Luke asked, his mouth curving in a half-smile. All the same, he rose to embrace his sister before she left, to reassure her of his unwavering care. He had not been there for her when she needed, and now he had to prove that all over again, but he would. It just took time. Watching her leave, he sank back down to the meditation mat, subsuming himself in the search for answers to a troubled mind. |