master_luke (master_luke) wrote in thegalaxy, @ 2016-05-02 12:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | !locale: naboo, luke skywalker, padme amidala |
Needs yet unmet
Who Padme and Luke
When: Shortly after Luke’s arrival on Naboo
Where: The settlement
What: Mother and son get to meet
Rating: PG
Moving through the area of the settlement was an interesting sensation for Luke. He had been gone from crowds for so long, so insulated at the Temple, that he had forgotten the press of others, the feeling of so much life surrounding him. To be fair, he always sensed the Force, the ebb and flow through not just other people, but through the air, the ground, the oceans and the forests. This was markedly different in a way he had forgotten. It was simpler to gather his senses to himself, to walk through like a ghost, unnoticed and unbothered. People moved out of his way unconsciously, both knowing he was there and yet not. For this trip, he did not try and identify those stronger in the Force, as he might have had once. This was not the time to pursue it, if he could have gathered the desire to do so anyway. In many ways, they were safer if he let them all be.
Locating his mother’s new home, he paused outside the doorway. Meeting her was an experience he never expected to have, and he had constructed an image of her in his head long ago, populated it with what little he knew and cherished the fantasy of who she might have been. This would challenge that, and he knew it. She was a living, breathing person here, with her own hopes, pains, thoughts, and they would not match what he had envisioned. Still, reality would be better, to actually know her. If he needed to discard a child’s rose-colored impression, then so be it.
Relaxing his mind, he gently knocked on the door.
Padme lingered in the kitchen of her small living quarters. She’d been before a grand Senate, stood tall against an enemy that wished to enslave her people and herself, but she could recall ever feeling as nervous, as anxious as she did in this moment. Soon, her son would, Luke Skywalker, would be at her door, his knock ringing in her ears joined in succession with an out-of-control beating of her heart. No, nothing her her past life or this life unfolding now had prepared the former Senator for the sight she was soon to behold because for Padme and for Luke, it was an impossibility. Death, as far as Padme knew, was permanent. It was a definite fate. Yet, this place, this world was nothing like she’d ever known and, perhaps, nothing that her son had ever experienced either.
Yes Padme was aware that her son possessed the same gift as his father did, but from her experience with Jedis, she’d never known one to mention something like this. Anakin, in all his travels, never spoke of a world where those dead, those of other worlds and universes, existed together. Still, that did not mean that in Luke’s world, such a place was an impossibility, but Padme’s guess was this place did not exist anywhere, past, present or future. Still, Padme could not ignore nor despise what it had granted her. Because of coming here, she could meet her children, two people whom death made a mystery, until now. Now, she had the chance to meet them.
The sound of a knock echoed and Padme looked up. Luke. Taking a deep breath, Padme moved toward the door, shaking step by step, but paused, fingers skimming the button. If she opened this door, it would change, forever, how her son thought of her, how he believed her to be, and could she do that to him? Would she be able to, though her own selfish want, destroy it? Swallowing, Padme applied pressure and the door shifted to the side with a whoosh.
For all of his preparation, Luke realized there simply wasn’t any way to truly be prepared. His instant, first thought was, she’s so beautiful. And in that thought, a lifetime of emotion welled up in him. He had cause to be thankful for all his years of training, so that he was able to breathe deeply and let the Force flow through him and take the edge away from the complex, overwhelming feelings, enough that his smile was kind, and very happy. “Hello,” he said, blue eyes shining. He almost chuckled; they were of a height nearly, as he had perhaps two or three inches on her total. So, that’s where his lack of height had come from, perhaps. “I am so glad you were willing to see me,” he added, after a moment. “I’m sure I am not what you were expecting….to not see me through all the years prior but only now, that I am...older.” He was surprised then, at the small regret that caught in his throat, sharp like a fishhook was caught there. Swallowing that away, he wondered if she was also sensitive to the Force, and had to inwardly smile as he thought, I hope not.
He had removed his hood, so that his blond and grey hair was visible, but he had not put a glove on his hand, and he fervently wished he had thought to do so. It had simply become part of him, the metal hand, and he didn’t think on it anymore. Carefully, he folded his hands inside the sleeves of his robes. “I understand there was a younger version of me, here, who had also traveled through time. I hope he comes back, so you can get a perspective from that time in my life.”
For a moment, Padme said nothing. She just looked at him with curious, but sad eyes. He was older than her, by perhaps more than 10 years, with greying hair and a full beard. Wrinkles crinkled at the corner of his blue eyes and ventured all upon his face, but, incredibly, the two stood at a near equal height. Padme was not surprised to find him dressed in the traditional Jedi garb of a robe with a hood. There was no doubt in her mind that he carried a light saber beneath the folds just as his father had so long ago. Anakin was extraordinary with the force; he was rumored to be the one to “bring balance to the force" once more. From what she'd learned from Han, both of her children were gifted in the ways of the Force though Luke appeared to have embraced every aspect of that life as his own. Had one of them stopped their father? Reasoned with him somehow? No, Padme felt, deep down, that was not the case. Everything about this renewed life told her that Anakin was not part of it, but her belief had nothing to do with the Force, but rather, by being a woman struck hard and powerful by love. Despite Anakin's violent actions towards her in their final moments together, she'd never stopped believing there was good in her husband and that good would never fade, regardless of who the Dark Side manipulated him to become. It hurt not having him here, not knowing if she would ever glimpse him again. This world provided people with second chances, all kinds, but it was yet to reveal the source of such a decision; there was no guarantee Anakin would appear as she had or as Qui-Gon did. Still, though she missed him very much, she was happy to be here because she had a remarkable chance. The chance to be a part of Luke and Leia's lives here.
At his words, Padme slowly shook her head, tears shimmering in her brown eyes. “Luke, my son...age doesn’t matter. Appearance doesn’t. No matter what point in time, I have the chance to see you. To get to know you. No, to me you are perfect,” she replied in a soft, shaking voice; a large lump had taken residence in her throat. She reached out and placed a gentle hand on his wrinkled face. “I’m sure I’m not what you were expecting either,” she added and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I doubt my name is much remembered in this time, but I don’t care. I only care that you and your sister have not forgotten me.” As long as her memory remained strong with her children, Padme did not care if she was lost to the entirety of Naboo or the galaxy. It had been a fear that they would not know anything about her or that they would live long enough to learn it. It seemed that had not been the case and for that Padme was grateful. She wanted them to know that she loved them, that their father loved them too, and somewhere inside he still did. She wanted them to know she wished, more than anything, that she could have been a part of their lives, that she could have seen them grow up and they could have been together. While she wasn’t sure the complete message had reached their ears at some point, from the look in Luke’s eyes, it seemed a version of it had and that was all that mattered.
His skin was soft and, yes, real beneath her fingers and a few tears escaped down her cheeks. “Yes. He reached out to me too, but I didn’t get to meet him. I wanted to. So much,” she smiled sadly. “But this place can change. He may come back like you said. I hope so, too.” She swallowed and stepped to the side and held a hand out for his. “Would you like to come inside?”
When his mother touched him, Luke felt his heart constrict, tightly, almost making him gasp for breath. His mother was touching him. There was simply no balm for a child who had longed for many years to even know about his mother, something his aunt and uncle kept unknown and unimportant to him for all that time. He understood, in retrospect, why they had done what they did, but it had never diminished, this need.
He had taken her hand before he thought about the action, holding her fingers in his gently, like she was porcelain that might shatter if he held too tightly. Her tears threatened to bring on ones of his own, but he was too absorbed yet with not wanting to cause her any pain. “Please,” he said, as he came in, letting her shut the door behind him. “But you are wrong...you are all that I expected and more.” His smile this time was slightly rueful. “You remind me a lot of Leia when she was your age. You share so much. I must look more like my father.”
Mentioning Anakin may have pained her, and he had considered his words beforehand, but he knew that it was something they would need to talk about, just like the rest of their lives. He had no more shadows in his life from his father, despite everything that had gone wrong with his nephew. He still believed in the absolute good. Anakin had it in him, at the end, and Ben would find it, too. Banishing any doubts, for the time being, Luke said, “We would never forget about you. I promise you that.”
Warm fingers engulfed her own, the digits cradling with gentleness, and Padme felt a smile tug at her lips. It felt like a dream, something far, far away and, for everything, impossible. Death remained, for a normal human, the ultimate barrier to the living and Padme, was a normal human. Unlike her husband, son, and daughter, she was not gifted with the Force. In her world, she would forever be separated from her children, from her husband, until, perhaps in death, they found each other again. Because of this place, this world, Padme was given the chance to see her children and she clung to that. They'd both grown up so beautifully, so strong and brave. Padme could not have been more proud of them. They'd save the galaxy, restored order and democracy, and renewed the Jedi. They were everything she'd hoped for, everything she'd dreamed, and so much more.
The door shifted down, sealing her son and her inside the small confines of her shelter here. It was so, so far away from the grand buildings she'd once called home so long ago...a lifetime. It was the peace most would believe she deserved, but it was not the one she wanted any longer. The galaxy was in trouble again and there was a chance it could fall into absolute chaos. As much as this planet was no longer hers, it would forever be a part of her. If there was anything she could do to protect it, but most important, protect her newfound family. His words pulled her from her thoughts. "Leia is very beautiful," she replied with a faint smile, but it faded at the mention of Anakin, his father. It reminded her once more that he'd yet to appear here and a part of her wondered if he ever would. Still, even if he didn't, having her children, her grandchildren, was more than enough.
She reached out and placed a hand on his face, studying his startling blue eyes, and the smile return to her lips. "You do so much," she added and tears burned in her brown eyes again. "It makes me happy. I'm lucky," the smile strengthened. "I'm sorry, Luke. I miss him still."
Automatically, Luke put his free hand over where hers rested on his cheek, forgetting for a moment that it was his mechanical hand, albeit covered with a leather glove this time. Even Obi-Wan had not quite confirmed to him that he looked like his father, and what little Luke had seen of what was left of his father, he had always wondered at the connection. “Don’t apologize for that,” he urged her. “It has only been a little while for you, hasn’t it? Your memories are very fresh. So little time has passed.” He did not know what she knew of his father, of what happened, and some part of him was loathe to tell her too much, in case he did tarnish the good memories she had. But he would be honest with her, if she asked. “There are times I miss him as well. I wish he was here with us.”
It felt so strange to be revisiting this part of his past, when he had been so consumed with the future, with what he could do to repair everything that had gone so wrong. Was this the Force’s way of bringing him back to lessons in his past? If so, he was ever grateful. If it did nothing to stop what was happening, the war that was looming, he did not care, if he was able to spend time with his mother, and learn who she was.
“I just wish my last memories of him were...different,” she replied in a quiet voice. The feeling of invisible fingers wrapped firm around her throat and eyes, formly so loving, glaring at you in betrayal were far from the last moments she wanted to spend alive with her husband. Those were when they were so much older...they would go together. Not then, on that fury, burning planet, at odds with one another because the dark side had blotted out the good within Anakin. Because it prayed upon his fear, for her, the children, maybe more. She didn’t know; Anakin had never told her why he’d lost the light, his way given to a world of shadows and pain. All she had were guesses and there was never any comfort to be found in uncertainties.
Her fingers slipped from beneath his leather glove. “I don’t know why he did it. And I don’t know what happened to him after I died,” she admitted. “I assumed the dark side of the force took him.” She was sure Obi-Wan had not succeeded in saving him from himself, from whatever doubts and anxieties plagued him in the first place. Did he know she was dead? The children were sent away, separated for their protection, but did he know they survived then? “But I’m glad you got to meet him.”
Luke could feel her pain and sadness radiating from her, and his throat tightened with a similar sadness. He had some answers for her, and some would be painful. But there was redemption at the end. “I can tell you, if you would like to know,” he finally said, after a long moment. “It is true that the dark consumed him for a long time, but there is….an ending that I think you will be much happier to know about. He...saved my life, before he died.” He offered her a small smile, then said, “Perhaps we should sit down to discuss this. I feel like there is just as much I can tell you as you can tell me, but it sometimes may be overwhelming. The last thing I wish to do is cause you pain, but sometimes, we find a better way by going through.”
Gently, he tugged her over towards the seating area of her rooms, as though he were the host here. But he could not deny the surge of protectiveness he felt towards her. Just by virtue of who she was to him, he wanted her to be happier, not plagued with these worries and doubts, and grief.
With Luke’s words, a frown formed, heavy on her lips. Deep down, she’d always known he’d succumb to the darkness, but even so, there was no comfort to be found in that. She’d hope he would fight after her passing, that he would come to and realize how strong he was, but before Luke spoke, she knew it was nothing more than foolish, silly dream. It was a hope and nothing more. With his sentiments, it was not even a hope anymore for Padme. ”He...saved my life before he died.” Again, it was something Padme had felt since her arrival on Naboo. Anakin’s ending was not to be a happy one. Tears burned in her eyes and she looked away from her son, taking a brief moment to swallow the lump rising rapidly in her throat. Preempting it gave Padme no such satisfaction and again, no comfort. She wanted to be wrong. She needed to be wrong, but...he had saved Luke’s life. The thought propelled her to breathe, one deep breath at a time until her emotions were somewhat steadied.
“He saved you,” the words brought out the faintest hint of a smile, a twitch of her mouth before her expression sobered again. “Please, tell me. I want to know. About everything,” she replied quickly. She allowed him to gently tug her towards the sitting area and took a seat on the edge of the sofa; her fingers held steadfast to his despite the journey’s end.
And just like that, Luke wished fervently with all his heart that he didn’t have to tell her. Just the look in her eyes, the emotion radiating off of her….he knew both from what he’d read of her, and also how she presented herself, that she was stronger than she appeared, but at the same time, he knew this would be bad, worse even, than she suspected. How much could he tell her and yet spare her some of the details?
Holding to her fingers, Luke took a seat adjacent, automatically pushing back the robes that covered him. “He knew you died,” he started. It wasn’t where he had planned to, but the words simply came. “I think he felt that it was too late for him then, that his rage was all he had left. Obi-Wan can tell you a lot more about that time period, but I can tell you from how he felt, at the end. He joined Palpatine, who was now the Emperor, and…” He hesitated. “He called himself Darth Vader, and a Sith lord. It was what he had left. He….could see no other path, so he embraced the one he had in front of him. Better not to feel, I suppose.” Whenever he spoke of his father, Luke relived the last days, even though he was young then, and still had a childlike hope. “I wish I could say he turned away early on, but I was twenty when he and I finally met, as father and son, and he could turn away from the Emperor. I did not know he was my father until those last days….and he did not know I lived until he met me. Owen and Beru raised me on Tatooine, and they told me all along that my father had died long ago.”
(incomplete due to player drop)