Alex (fatheralex) wrote in thefield, @ 2009-08-08 10:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | alex, jasper, z - 1st tribe - day 32 |
This planet was dumb.
Who: Alex & Jasper
When: morning, Day 32
Where: Camp
What: awkwardness!
Rating: XXX for p0rn for priests.(PG)
Jasper blew a handful of that stupid pink pollen, which she assumed was making her feel... uncomfortable... into the fire and watch it light up. Goddamn stuff. What the hell was wrong with people? What she wanted more than anything was to be left alone, to figure out how to deal with it. As people kept coming near the bloody fire, though, that was asking for a bit much. She also wanted a bath, but Jasper was afraid that at this point someone would take that as an invitation, for God's sake.
This planet was dumb.
It hadn't taken long before Alex had noticed that something was...off today. For one thing, he felt off. His attempt at morning prayer had been disjointed at best, he kept getting distracted and had finally given up. Forcing prayer was not good prayer. He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts, disconcerting ones at best, to notice much of anyone else. Looking around the camp, he spotted Jasper, one of the people he felt more comfortable with and headed towards her, sitting down nearby and looking around, one leg jittering idly as he looked. Something was not right, he just couldn't quite put his finger on it.
"This planet is dumb." Jasper told Alex, in a mildly disgruntled tone. "The air is full of pink fuzz, and everyone is acting like love-sick rabbits." And she rolled her eyes as Rowan, who wasn't near the fire but quite visible, was cheerfully pinching the backsides of her pair of men. "I mean, honestly." And she blew some more of the pink nonsense into the fire.
Ah. The pink. He had noticed that. Blushing as he noticed Rowan he turned back to Jasper, "I ah...had wondered," he hadn't managed to put two and two together though, the inability to focus hadn't helped that. "You're not...that is..." he gestured helplessly and shrugged. "Any ideas how to undo it?"
Jasper gave him a glum look. "Try not to breathe, I guess? Who knows how this stuff is picked up. If it's even the pink stuff. It could be something else entirely. Pixies. Whatever." She picked up a stick and poked at the fire, figuring if people were going to go off and... yeah. Well, she could tend the fire like a big girl and try to pretend to be useful. "This blows."
"Then you're not affected?" he perked up, pleased at this idea. Maybe then if she wasn't she could tell him how not to be! It was damn inconvenient to have his morning prayers interrupted by thoughts of unpriestly things. "It is...unpleasant. I do not like it." He was steadfastly not looking at her and simply watching the fire.
"I wish I weren't. It's not pleasant. It's bloody uncomfortable." And her tone indicated just how much she wasn't enjoying her morning, either. Still. She stole another quick look at him, and back to the fire. Stupid pink fluffy cloud hell...
"Agreed," he sat there for a moment, catching the movement of her head and then turned. "Maybe I should go somewhere else. Somewhere less....pink," but where? On one side of the river there were laughers and he'd die in the night. Here, everything was pink. It wasn't like this one camp was being targeted, it had to be the entire area. "In seminary they recommend prayer to help combat these...urges. Prayers for strength and fortitude. If you'd like," he pulled his
rosary out from under his shirt, wrapping the beads around his hand automatically.
"Well, I'll give it a shot. Maybe we could stick something in there about less pink in general." Jasper said dryly, and took the beads too.
Of course, her hand ended up touching his hand, and she swooped it back in a completely totally 'natural' motion of rubbing her neck. It had been feather light, but it left goosebumps going right up her arm. And she wasn't sure how to handle that, so she had to move and pretend that it had totally not happened. At all. Ever. Yeah, she was totally just stretching. And the blush on her face was really bright. "Uh. Or. Oooor, I could put wood. On the fire."
When she touched him it was like electric sparks, the good kind, not the kind that happened when working with actual electricity. In this case though, Alex would have preferred the actual electricity. Blushing scarlet he shifted in his seat in an attempt to move farther away, though he somehow managed to inch in slightly closer. "Yes. Fire." It was warm and sunny out, they didn't need a larger fire. "You've ah...not really become close with anyone. Except the kids," he hadn't meant to imply anything improper with the kids, she was doing a great job with them, but everyone had paired off somehow it seemed except the two of them, Bazzer and Kenneth. It made sense for him, but the other three had no excuse that he knew of.
"Well. No. I guess I haven't. I don't, um, think of people. Like that. I leave too often to form really tight relationships." She added hastily, in case he thought she was avoiding the subject. Because she was. "...and I'm not particularly good at that whole 'social' thing. I tend to run with people who think the same way I do." Jasper said, broodingly, poking at the embers with her poking stick. "The ones who can't sit still, need to explore, need to get out of the concrete jungle and sometimes into real ones. And I'm not even built like other people. You know I've never been kissed? And not because people didn't want too, but because I've never felt the urge to go out and try it before."
That was more than Alex had expected. A lot more. Not that it wasn't good or important information about Jasper. "I'm not sure what you mean by 'built like other people,'" Alex murmured, processing the information. It sort of seemed like his thinking was fuzzy but he was pretty sure this was a part of the pollen. "I think you're pretty good at it. No one has stormed off offended by you. And there's nothing wrong with not being kissed. Maybe you haven't met the right gentleman. Or are a late bloomer," that sounded hollow even to him and his thoughts invariably strayed towards rectifying her never-been-kissed status. He knew he shouldn't, he had taken vows, but the urge was there. Gripping the rosary, he fingered the smooth beads in an effort to pray for guidance.
Jasper wasn't exactly sure why she told him everything to begin with. In fact, she wasn't happy with the fact. But he was a priest and he wasn't supposed to tell other people - that's what he said last time. So anything between them would be a secret. That 'anything' appealed to her in a way she wasn't sure about at all. "There's a difference between late-bloomer at seventeen and weird at over twenty." Jasper argued.
"Maybe from your perspective. From mine it would make things a lot easier," it would help prevent things like premarital sex, STDs, unwanted pregnancies, a host of problems, if people simply weren't interested in sex until they met the right person. Of course, humans did not work like that. "The pollen isn't helping that, is it?" he asked softly. "Me either. I became celibate at 19, Jasper. I'm 32 now. This is extremely awkward for me as well." This was not something he spoke of often, not in such an open way. It was extremely personal, but she had shared with him and he felt it would be good to reciprocate, even if it was not needed. He did understand her plight, somewhat.
Jasper turned back to Alex, and in doing so her knee touched his, and it stayed there for maybe half a second before she managed to settle herself. And even that little bit of contact she was loathe to give up. "I-" Her voice came out as a squeak, she blushed, and coughed. "You don't look like you feel awkward, honestly."
"I don't?" he repeated, surprised. He had wished she'd touched him longer, just a knee, but it was something. "I don't think I've clutched my rosary for dear life and prayed to St. Michael quite like this since I entered seminary," a nervous chuckle escaped his lips, "This is a really bad idea, you know," he added, not saying exactly what he was referring to.
"Really bad. I mean, I can't think of a worse one." Jasper agreed absolutely. Even though her knee strayed back and touched his again without her realizing it. And she kind of froze there, with her fully realizing it but she didn't want to stop either.
With a shuddering breath, Alex's hand reached out and touched her knee, just gently resting his hand on it. "Me either..." he trailed off, enjoying the feel of her leg beneath her pants his hand, "I don't want to stop though," he knew he should. He should get up and walk away and go away. Go somewhere else, anywhere else."
"Me neither." Jasper murmured. "I mean, just because you want something doesn't make it right." Very tentatively, she reached out and put a hand on Alex's knee in return, and savoured the contact. Except he had a hole in his pajama pants. Jasper's khaki's were torn up, but on her wrecked up leg, and below the knee besides. But what she touched was bare skin, and she almost looked ready to snatch her hand back. And she didn't.
"Exactly," his breath caught as she touched his skin and he exhaled slowly, scooting over to sit closer, "I know this is wrong. You know this is wrong. I should go somewhere else. Away from everyone..." but for how long? This pollen probably wouldn't simply disappear in a day or two. It would linger. He liked how her leg felt, even through the pants and he wondered if her skin was soft. Closing his eyes, he tried to push the thoughts away and it didn't work, closing his eyes only invited images to join the thoughts. "I should go."
"Probably." Jasper nodded. "I mean, how would we feel about this tomorrow?" Of course, that was a dumb arguement. The pink stuff would probably stick around until the next good rain. Which might be a while. While she thought about things like that, she started rubbing his knee. Just a little, and almost shyly.
"You ever listen to Motown?" Alex asked, "There's a song and it goes 'will you still love me tomorrow?' And it's about a girl who sleeps with her boyfriend ...and she's unsure if he will respect her and love her afterward or if it was simply a one night stand. When I get someone who comes to me for advice on something like this or when I'm talking about relationships with the youth group, that's what I ask them. Is having sex before marriage worth being discarded and disrespected the next day? And...right now..." he shifted towards her and leaned forward, kissing her cheek lightly and didn't finish the sentence. It wasn't a true first kiss, being only on her cheek, but they both needed to work up to something like that.
Jasper blushed prettily at the kiss, and offered him a tentative, shy little smile. Really, who could ask for a nicer compliment? It was rather like he said she was worth it, and that was really very sweet. Still, she didn't have (or, previously, want) any experience with this whole touching/kissing thing so it took her a moment to work up the guts to kiss his cheek back - closer to his mouth than he'd been to hers.
Unlike Jasper's smooth cheek, his own was covered in fine brown hairs. Not enough for a full beard, but it was certainly trying to go that route, he hadn't shaved in over a month, even before ending up in Wonderland. He had found the razor and things, but hadn't used them. Blushing crimson at her kiss, he turned his face just enough so that she was kissing his mouth. Jasper tasted good, just a hint of mint and lips not too soft, but not aggressive either. "You ah..." he pulled back, face bright red, "kiss pretty well for a beginner," he stuttered haltingly. It was hard to resist the urge to wipe his mouth, but he did. He didn't want to wipe her away.
"Uh. Yeah. Yeah, that was good." Jasper blushed, suddenly realizing that she, of all the fucking people on the planet, was seducing or something the priest. It was a bloody good thing that she didn't really believe in hell. And she really, really didn't want to stop. "You. Um. You're really. ...you're good at it. That's a hell of a first kiss."
"I can't do this," he stated, standing and almost running away he moved so quickly. "I'm sorry," he called over his shoulder, disappearing in the direction of the spring. This was wrong. He was a priest. And crazy pink pollen or not, he had taken vows. Vow that he took seriously and were important to him! He didn't love Jasper! She was a nice girl to be sure, but he was not about to marry her, to forsake his vows! Once he was well away from the camp he jumped into the spring fully clothed, the cold water helping to jar him back to reality a little better. What had he done!?
What he'd done was left a gaping, shocked Jasper sitting on a rock and staring at him just suddenly stand up like he was completely disgusted and run away, was what he did. Along with Jasper never being kissed, she'd certainly never learned how to deal with situations like this. It made her stomach go ice cold. "I... oh... ffffFFUUUUUUCK!" She shrieked it, and stood up, walking towards the lean-to (not giving a damn if it hurt like utter bloody hell to do so) to go lay down, by herself, for a while.