Best Interests At Heart
Who: Helena and Alex Where: Down by the camp's beach When: Not too long after first light What: It's The Talk from the priest. Rating: It's awkward but it's still family-safe
Since his disastrous lunch with Quinn the day before, Alex had spent his time wrapped in his blanket by the fire. A couple people had offered to help keep him warm, but he had refused, he was a priest and wilds of where ever or not did not change that. He felt pretty lousy though. At least his misery had company, it seemed as though quite a few others had gotten sick along with him, that helped a little and Dr. Baker was doing his best as well to tend to those who were sick. He had managed to keep some food down that afternoon and then got up to take care of his personal needs after a nap. He was definitely doing a little better, though he still felt gross and achy. Idly, Alex wondered if that was because he was just gross from roughing it in this wilderness or from the sick.
Wrapping his blanket around him as he walked was a good move he had decided, though it made using the facilities, of the lack thereof, more difficult. In the end, he'd had to choose, bathroom or blanket. The blanket, alas, had to be set aside for a moment. Alex rated this an improvement though. Walking back he noticed a lone figure towards the beach and headed over to see who it was. As he got closer he realized it was another of those who was sick, Helena.
"Hey," he said, joining her quietly. He'd been meaning to talk to her for a while now and had usually been too exhausted to do so whenever they both had a free moment. Now was a good enough time, if she allowed for the possibility of fever-induced ramblings.
Helena looked up from where she was seated, cross-legged on the sand, her blanket wrapped around herself tightly like a voluminous robe. Her smile, though tired and bleary, was welcoming enough. "Hey Alex. Just came down to the beach to get some sun." The statement was almost amusing. Most women who said that stretched out on their blankets in bikinis but not her. Oh no. She was wrapped to the eyeballs, pretty much. "It's warm down here and nice today." She scrubbed a hand over her face. She was still chilled but she thought her fever had broken a couple of hours ago. The night had been spent delirious and in and out of consciousness. She didn't feel as though she'd finally lapsed into sleep until around dawn. To say she was feeling better now was an understatement, but she wasn't out of the woods yet.
Sitting down carefully, he felt like an old man with all his joints aching and protesting every movement. Once he was seated and situated, he nodded, bundled in his own blanket, "You're feeling better then," it was a statement not a question. Alex felt like he could sleep for another week or so no problem, despite having slept since the day before without waking. Coughing, he tried to catch his breath. He hated being sick. "Other than being sick, how're things?"
Helena sighed, bundling deeper but not minding the company of her fellow council member. "I feel like I was run over by a stampede of grazers but yeah, I think I'm getting better. You?" He had a bit of a rattle in his chest. She could hear it. Thorne's potions an salves and poultices were abundantly distributed and she couldn't deny they were helping. She felt a little grimy though and fervently wishes she could brave the chilly water and go swimming.
"Better," he agreed. "Keeping food down anyways," which was a decided improvement. Other than the council meeting last night, Alex hadn't been awake at all. "What a way to start...whatever it is. The tribal council," he snorted at the name. It was too perfect. "Are you the Red Queen if this is Bazzer's so-called Wonderland? Off with their heads?" the name the librarian had bestowed upon their planet amused him. It seemed like the name a librarian would choose somehow.
Helena gave the priest a droll look. "I don't think that title really fits me." At his mention of food her stomach gurgled and it was slightly unpleasant. "Hmm, no food for me just yet I think." She rubbed her stomach and heaved a deep breath. "I knew I'd get voted in. I think Ken was surprised to get a higher count than me, though." She turned a fond smile on her friend in the clergy. "Were you surprised, Alex?" She thought he probably was. He was a good priest, not pretentious or superior in any way. He probably had no idea of his value amongst their community.
"Completely," he nodded and scratched at the bearded stubble along his cheeks and chin. He hadn't shaved often before he had come here and already had a beard started. Now it was filling in, "I thought it would be Thorne actually," he didn't mention that he had expected his vocation to work against him here. The separation of church and state that most everyone was familiar with in America combined with the lack of those of the same faith as him, he hadn't expected to be elected at all. It was flattering, "but I'll do my best. I had expected being a priest would work against me, given that what I believe to be fairly well known and not in line with what the majority thinks."
Helena smiled and patted his knee through his blanket. "Ah, Alex. I think you'll find that the thing that people noticed the most about you is that you have everyone's best interests at heart. What's more important than that, in a leadership role?" She shrugged her shoulders. "We're so used to living in a vast country with so many diverse needs that need to be met by it's leadership. Here? It's just survival. Survival and the ability to thrive and...and do well as humans. I think you're more equipped to help along that road than you think." It was a long road, they all knew that. They were on it together, though. For the first time in weeks, sitting next to Alex, Helena didn't feel quite so alone.
With a slight smile, Alex turned towards Helena a little, unbeknownst to her, she had given him a perfect segue for what he had been meaning to discuss with her, "About that best interest thing..." he raised an eyebrow, "You and Cross have gotten close," the sex talk always sort of made him uncomfortable, he didn't feel that he could much give it given his lifestyle. That people would feel insulted by his attempts, and that had been the case several times with teenagers mostly, but he gave it awyways. Perserverence was important and his choices and direction with his life did not have bearing on what others chose.
Helena's dark eyes flicked up to his face and she could see the discomfort written on his features. Her teeth sunk in to her lip for a moment as she bit back the statement that not close enough was on her mind. "We have," she admitted with a nod and a smile. "But I don't think we've gotten as close as you think." She gave him a little smile and ducked her head. He might be a friend, someone who'd even saved her life, but if she couldn't talk about what she wanted with Cross, how could she talk about it with the man who was effectively her priest? "Are you worried about my behaviour?" she asked her lap more than his face.
With a little smile and half shrug, Alex nodded, "Less about your behaviour per se and more about the consequences," he murmured. "I don't...that is...you've been hurt in the past. I don't want to see you hurt like that again, especially without the medical equipment and whatnot that might be needed. Plus...even overlooking a remarriage after divorce," which was something that Alex was perfectly happy to do, especially here. That the church did not allow divorce was one of those things that he did not agree with and had seen cause more harm than good, "What does Cross want?"
Helena exhaled in a rush, a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She took a moment to gather up how she wanted to respond to this kind of concern and took a whack at it. "Well, first let me reassure you that there hasn't been much of any sort of action that might have consequences." She glanced at his face, blushed and looked away. "Also, I had my tubes tied before my divorce, Alex. I can't...have consequences anymore." She shrugged her thin shoulders underneath her thick blanket. "As for what Cross wants?" She shook her head. "Who knows? We don't talk about that sort of thing." Or about much of anything, really. Not a whole lot. However, he'd stuck by her all night. He'd been there with water when she wanted it. He'd wrapped her up tightly in his arms and blankets when she'd shivered hard enough to shake her joints loose. He'd even scooped her up and carried her into the bushes to be sick away from camp, once. "He's a good man, he just...doesn't know how to approach something like that, I guess." That was all she could really say on it.
Reaching out awkwardly from under his blanket he patted her shoulder through the blanket, "I know what the church says about these things and so do you, but I think, given everything, you made a wise decision, even if you didn't know you would end up here now," and he would say that to any woman who had made such a difficult decision regardless of whether they ended up on a strange and deserted planet. "but you should talk to Cross when you feel better, or try to. Find out what he wants," Alex never understood why priests were expected to be relationship experts when they did not have too many themselves. Their relationships were familial or friendly, but distant. Not...romantic. And yet, they were expected to be able to give advice on marriages, it was strange. "Make sure you two want the same things."
Helena's blush wasn't receeding. Apparently she had been more comfortable with Cross's rules of none conversation than she'd thought. Fidgeting a little bit, she sighed. "I'm not sure what I was, really, either. Um...this isn't really the place to be considering long term relationships. Is it?" She glanced at him, unsure about whether or not it was the place. "Are you thinking I should ask him if...like if we want to get married?" Wringing her hands and getting more aggitated by the minute, her voice was rising in octaves with each question.
"Well, that is one answer," Alex allowed, though it actually hadn't been what he had been thinking of. Marriage perhaps in the long run, for her or for others, but not quite so soon. "But not what I was thinking of, actually. Maybe something a little more...mundane right now," he suggested, "Dating. I don't know...it's sort of hard for dinner and a movie, but I'm sure something can be arranged. Romantic walks on the beach or whatever," he was not really the person to go to for romantic advice.
Helena smiled at Alex's attempts. "Given our setting, do you not think that Cross and I are dating already?" If Helena had been asked to describe the relationship she had with Cross, she'd have to say that she felt...well, claimed. Nothing had ever been spoken about between them. He had just stepped up and, like the rock he so closely resembled, refused to budge. Wherever she went, so went Cross. Where she laid down to sleep, so did he. Whatever she was working on, he was working to. It hadn't needed words to arrange it. "It just happened, Alex." She shrugged. "I think he feels better, not being made to talk about it." She squinted at the glare off of the water. "I know that's not really...conventional..but I don't think I could actually force him to...admit or agree to anything. And what's more, I think he'd think I was silly for even asking. Like it's...obvious. Common knowledge."
"You do realize how long it's been since I've been on a date, right Helena?" he asked wryly, she had a point, "And more than that, I'm blaming the fever. Yes. The fever is talking," his fever had broken some hours before. Unlike the rest, his fever hadn't been quite so bad, but he'd made up for it with the throwing up. "If you're happy...then I'm not sure what else to say except 'I'm glad.'" he considered asking her about Rowan, Thorne and Ryan, but then dismissed the idea. He knew Rowan and Helena were good friends here. He had noticed the three of them together though, it was hard to miss.
Smiling, Helena nodded. "You've probably been on a date much more recently than I have. Ten years of marriage does not necessarily mean there was a fabulously romantic social life happening." She chuckled, glad that she'd learned to laugh about her failed first attempt now. The first few months, that had been out of the question. "I do appreciate the concern Alex and I know that Cross looks like a rough bear of a man but he's really not like that. His appearance is deceiving." She shook her head fondly. Cross had manhandled her, crossed his arms over his barrel chest and refused to budge, but he'd never hurt her. She didn't think he likely ever would, most certainly not on purpose.
Though it was tempting to get into a 'I haven't had a date longer than you' argument just for the amusement value, Alex resisted, "I never meant to imply that he wasn't a good man. I just wanted to make sure you were sure...and about the consequences. It's so easy for people to take birth control or use condoms and just...forget that sex can have consequences. I mean, more than simply the emotional. Here though, it's not that simple, there is no birth control, there are no condoms and we have to be careful. So I'm trying to remind people of that...you know? Not you, I understand that now," he wasn't trying to tell her what to do now, more to just explain himself, "I really don't have a problem with birth control or condoms...family planning is important when a couple is married, finances and such play a huge role in these things. But I can't really quite get on board with the premarital sex idea to be honest. I try...but, I can't. Which is so hypocritical, I know," because he had had sex before entering the seminary and he had enjoyed it. And he had not been married. "You know what they call a woman that relies on the rhythm method of birth control, Helena?" it was a joke.
Helena gave him an indulgent smirk. "A mother, Alex. I understand your position, I really do. I think I would like to watch and see how Rowan deals with giving birth...well, as naturally as humans can. We'll do everything we can for her. And I know we'll all fuss over the little one," Not that they didn't have adopted little ones now, with Ashwin and Corbin skipping along in Ken's shadow everywhere he went. "We're starting to gather a real bunch of young ones, aren't we? First Milo and then Ashwin and her brother. Soon enough, youand Ken and I will have to consider our educational policies." Early childhood education was Helena's forte. That was little more than teaching children the fundamentals of social behaviour. Ken would be invaluable for teaching them survival skills in this vast world. Alex, however, would probably be their closest advantage for teaching them academia. "Do you feel up to being an educator? We should figure out which ones of us have the most dense and applicable knowledge from the old world." She had this image of Alex presiding over the kids' as they doodled Latin words in the wet sand with sticks.
Chuckling, Alex tried to imagine that and didn't quite succeed, "I have no problem teaching," he agreed, then again, while he was a teacher in the priest-sense, he was not a teacher in the classroom-sense. Outside of leading adult bible studies and helping with the teenagers, he didn't have a lot of teaching experience, "but I'm not sure how useful I'd be here. Not all priests do the same thing, Helena. I worked with Latin texts, leading masses in Latin, teaching other priests Latin, that sort of thing. I didn't...I mean," he shrugged, he didn't work directly with a lot of people. He visited the sick and worked with the teenagers too, but his primary job was teaching other priests Latin. "Bazzer might be someone we should talk to about teaching. He's proven to have a library in his head," it was a lame joke, but the librarian seemed to know something on a whole array of bizarre and unrelated topics.
Helena nodded, seeing his point. "Bazzer's got the scattered knowledge, that's for sure. I think you'd be the right person to teach them ethics, though. Don't you?" She smiled at him. After all, he'd sat down here and attempted to check her own ethical standpoints. "That's just as important as bible passages." She lapsed into a companionable silence before picking up their conversation again. "I haven't been up to see your church. How is it coming along?"
"Ethics I can handle," he agreed with a small smile and a bob of his head, "It's that whole 'reading, writing, 'rithmetic' idea that got me concerned. Reading and writing aren't a problem either. It's that math. Never much got into numerology, though it's a very popular scholastic topic for people, especially those interested in mysticism," the Jewish mystics in Kabbalah put a lot of stock into numerology and some of it had crept into Catholicism, thought not a whole lot. It was a fun topic to debate though at conventions. Especially if there was alcohol invovled...and there was always alcohol involved. Drunken biblical debates were fun! "And I was less interested in algebra than I was in numerology!"
"I always liked algebra," she confessed. "I never wanted to be a math teacher but I liked the order to it. There was a set process, you know?" She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "I don't know what we'll end up teaching them. I hope it's something." She would hate to see all of the accumulated knowledge of humanity which the twenty odd people in the came held on to. Everything from measurements in Sophie's head to engine parts in Arlo's to the workings of currents and switches in Cross's and military lore and tactics in Ken's. Really if they could pile up everything the knew, there was no reason why their children couldn't become renaissance people. Knowing and mastering many skills.
"I think whatever they learn, it will have practical application as opposed to simply being knowledge for knowledge sake," which was sad, but useful. They had to know how to survive, "I figure anyone that can quote Shakespeare and skin a grazer can't be too lacking," he added. "So then you think we're stuck here for good?"
Helena's mouth compressed into a grim line and she nodded. "I do think so, yes," she said gently. "Nothing convinced me more than Jasper bringing those children back with her. Ashwin was born on earth, she said, but she doesn't remember it. Corbin was born here. He's clearly...somewhere near three years old. Three years, Alex. Plus nine months of pregnancy in this place, since I get the impression that the man their mother was with, Ashwin called him Ivan, was Corbin's natural father." She shook her head. "They wandered, the four of them. If there was some way out of here, don't you think their mother would have found it for their sake?" Helena knew she never would have stopped searching for a way back, if it had been her stuck here pregnant with a toddler of her own.
Alex nodded, "I think we're stuck here. I just didn't want to assume you thought so. God's challenge, I suppose, to all of us. Can we survive, can we thrive? Do we retain our humanity and rise above or do we succumb to our environment and circumstances? I think I know what we want to do in that respect, but not how things will turn out," he sighed, "Knowing the future would be so useful now more than ever. Knowing that Rowan's child will have a future...that these children do. Children, Helena," he sighed, "Everything I know, everything I believe is in the context of Earth of a modern, Western society. And now...I'm having to readjust everything, it's a struggle," he was referring to the marriage and sex talk from a little earlier, but now there were children who needed adoptive parents and there were no married couples, Rowan chose to have her child out of wedlock which was her choice and appeared to have not one, but two partners to help her. Alex wasn't sure what to think of that really beyond that it made him highly uncomfortable. He was not a missionary and even if he was, modern Earth would not have prepared him for this. This was more akin to the Spaniards discovering, exploring and conquering the New World and never returning to Spain again. At least the missionaries on those expeditions were working with fellow Catholics who believed as they did and had been raised as they had. This? There were different beliefs and religions for almost every person here.
Helena saw what could almost be classified as dejection on Alex's face and she patted him affectionately on the shoulder. "I think, Alex, what you need to do is consider yourself like a moral compass that points us constantly in the direction of being kind, compassionate, just and loving people. Even though not all of us believe in the catholic god or even the christian one, we all know and adhere to the ten commandments, for the most part." An amused frown crossed her face and she chuckled. "Alright, so maybe there is some blurring in the area of coveting each other, but that's to be expected. We're still human and we're from a time when sexuality is a bit freer. However, we do need a bit of time before we decide on a life partner." She caught her lower lip and tentatively broached her point. "Not everyone here is heterosexual as well, Alex. I think that, since there are so few of us as a whole, we need to embrace some real understanding. I don't think homosexuality makes anyone a bad person and so it seems like it's something that should be forgiven or at least...lived with." She shrugged. "It cuts down on the amount of us who may eventually become breeding couples but so do I, with my body interfered with by modern medicine. Whoever chose us to come here certainly didn't consider our viability as a breeding race," she chuckled, knowing without Alex even telling her that he'd never violate his oaths and vows as a priest to have children. "You might not feel that you should bend on some of the rules today, Alex, but life's going to go on here the way it mostly did at home in some respects. Children or no children, faith or no faith."
"I know that, Helena. And believe it or not...I'm okay with that. Homosexuality, I mean. There's at least three that I can think of, though bi might be more accurate from what I've seen. I don't claim to understand it, I know it's not a choice, but I don't think it's a sin either," he was fairly liberal as priests went, "I know what it says in Leviticus, but I also know Latin. The Old Testament was written in Aramaic and the word used translated to 'unclean' not 'sin.' When it was translated to Latin it was translated almost verbatim...and the nuances and socio-cultural context was usually lost. Besides, God does not hate and anyone who says he does..." Alex shrugged, "Well, I don't know what God they know, but he's not the one I speak with. And there is only one, which leads me to think that someone is being an impostor," he chuckled easily. "I do believe in marriage though. Marriage and children. I do not believe that people who are gay should be married, that's not what the institution is for. I also think that it should go marriage then children...but that's not really something I can do much about right now, can I? We have children without parents and Rowan never intended to have a marriage at all. We make do." He felt better talking to Helena, somehow, she was his confessor in a way. It was important for a priest to have a confidant, a confessor of his own just as he heard the confession of his community. He never would have expected it to be of all people, but he always felt better after talking to her.
"Hmm," Helena said in thoughtful agreement. "Well, I think it is safe to say that even though we have the blessing of modern mentality, morality and justice, we've found ourselves in the Dark Ages or earlier. The beginnings of civilization I guess you could say we have. We have fire and we cook our food. We treat each other with respect, courtesy and dignity. We wear clothes so that we don't go naked and we make and use tools." She ticked these boons off on her slender fingers as she spoke. "I think it's safe to say that we've found ourselves in the Old Testament, unsure what each new rumble of thunder might be bringing. Back then, it wasn't so unusual for a man to have multiple wives, right? He'd form his own tribe out of women and children and grandchildren. Jacob, for instance." The well known Biblical patriarch had supported four wives and numerous children who helped him tend his sheep in Canaan. "Maybe there is something to that kind of life that makes survival more likely in a world as harsh and uncertain as this one - and as ours surely was - that isn't immediately apparent to the modern eye." She posed that thought to as though it were a question, curious about Alex's views on that subject.
"Possibly," Alex mused, "Might want to run that by the resident brainchild," he meant Bazzer. The man was strange, but he could come up with the most random information that turned out to be very useful, "See what he has to say. I'm...honestly not sure I can make a judgment on polygamy. I'm not married, nor have I ever been and I won't become married and while I can state the churches reasons against it...we are in a unique situation. And this is more Old Testament not modern USA. I think if it works for people, then I'd agree to officiate," he answered slowly, obviously uncomfortable with the idea, but trying to make the stretch. He wasn't going to give up on the idea of marriage THEN children though. There was an order and it was there for a reason.
Smiling, tickled and pleased by his willingness to even bend in theory for the sake of conversation, Helena nudged his shoulder with hers. "You're doing well here, Alex. People trust your judgment on ethical matters or moral ones. If they didn't, they wouldn't have voted you into the ruling body. I think your vote had less to do with your office than it did with your ability to reason with yourself and those around you. The three of us haven't had the chance to sit down and talk it out yet. What do you think we should be focusing on now that we've relocated to the island?"
"Shelter," he replied automatically, clutching his blanket around him as a breeze tickled his skin, "There was this pyramid in school...psych 101 probably. I forget the name, but it basically states how first you have to have food, shelter, and safety before any other needs can be met. We need shelter, we have food and relative safety. Once we can get some sort of huts or something...then we can store things easier. Excess food, skins, whatever. And we won't be as dependent on the elements - and we hopefully won't get as sick," because they could both attest that being sick was no fun and more than that, it meant they weren't working on their survival. "You agree?"
Helena nodded. "I do. So I figure that means we're going to have to send out lumber crews to try to find trees that we can bring down somehow. We'll also need people to go and pick stacks of the sweetgrind to be bundled for thatching. I figure there should also always be one group always remaining at camp or at least very near by. A wrong wind could spark a fire in the thatching of the lean-tos already built. We can't afford to lose anything in a fire," Helena spoke as she squinted indirectly at the rising sun. It was...deliciously warm.
"Why?" Alex asked after a slow minute, "I don't know a lot about building...but I don't know. Nevermind," he ran a hand across his face. He felt dirty. Then again, he always did, grimy and dirty no matter how much he tried to stay clean. His sensibilities were completely unprepared for this place. "Thatched huts or something. Dugouts. I don't know...I'll leave building to someone who knows more than me and shut up now," he looked around for a minute and began to get to his feet, "I'm going to head back into camp now. Want to come with me or stay out a while longer?"
With a faint groan, Helena pushed herself to her feet and gathered her blanket around her. "I'll come with you. Let's go see if we can both figure out how to be house carpenters." She offered her friend a tired but patient smile, letting him lead the way back home.