Who: Solas, Evelyn, and Cullen When: February 3rd, a bit after this Where: Solas' quarters What: Lost a shadow, gained something else Rating: Low, but mentions of pregnancy
As many advantages this world held over Thedas, dealing with possible Tesseract shenanigans was starting to wear off. And while, rationally, she knew this was probably the case she'd been raised religious, and then Circle trained. The doom of possession was still something she worried about. She'd worried about it when the Breach had happened and demons roamed the lands unchecked, she'd worried about it after it had been sealed and she'd especially worried about it when she'd had to go into Adamant. Even after she'd faced the Nightmare demon she'd worried for it, as her biggest fear was losing herself.
And there was no Lyrium here to send her into the fade to check, so she'd gone to Solas. He was the most powerful mage she knew, and one of the few who could get the demon out without causing harm to her, and without needing Lyrium. And she wasn't too sure what he was doing, so she plucked at the sleeve of the arm that had once held the Anchor with her good hand and focused on hearing Cullen play with the dogs in the room over. When Solas seemed less, well out of it she figured was a good enough term for it, she looked to her friend. "Well? Am I good?"
Solas felt that the Inquisitor… Evelyn… was worrying over nothing. From all he’d seen on the network, this was another of the troubles caused by the tesseract and Evelyn was reacting from the misguided teachings the Chantry had shoved into her head about spirits and demons. He found neither in this world, which he tried not to think about too much. When he did, he felt a despair start to creep over him that was dangerous. So he concentrated on his painting, his new friends and those from his world who were here. And made plans that he intended to put into effect once the weather improved.
But there was little hardship in putting his magic to use in assuaging Evelyn’s worries, so he’d cast a number of spells over her to seek the answers to why her shadow had so abruptly disappeared. The last couple of spells he’d used were healing spells, more out of a desire to cover all possibilities than because he thought they’d be of any use. However it was the healing spells that were the ones that pinged back at him and he frowned. He hadn’t set them with any specificity so he couldn’t be entirely sure what they were trying to tell him other than something was different about the Inquisitor.
“Hmm.” He cocked his head. “Let me just try another spell. There’s something odd showing up.”
"What?" She was almost snappish, and she hardly ever got this way. The few times she'd had could be counted on one hand. The last time she'd lost her temper had been into the Exalted Council, when she'd feared the Anchor might just kill her. But this she couldn't take out on anyone, despite her want to yell about it. She took a breath and curled the fingers of her good hand. Oddly, it still felt like both her hands were doing that. "That's not encouraging."
shaking her head she looked back to the room where Cullen was, and worried not for her own sake but for his too. "Alright. Just, please make sure that everything's alright." She didn't know what she'd do if she was possessed. Ever since knowing there was no Fade here she'd slept soundly and without worries. It'd been almost odd how quickly she'd taken to never having to dread sleep, just in case a demon wanted to batter on her defenses.
Solas gave her a faintly startled look, not offended by her tone but surprised at her words. He mentally reviewed what he’d said and sighed quietly. He followed her gaze and was grateful that Cullen was thoroughly distracted by the dogs. The Commander looked significantly better than the last time he’d seen him but he also knew that Cullen could get very caught up in his worries, far more than was necessary. He certainly could have worded his response a bit better and having the pair of them looming over him with incipient worry was not something he really wanted. However rather than say anything, he cast another spell and let it tell him what he was beginning to suspect from the results of the others.
The spell did indeed give him the very answer he had half-suspected and he smiled slightly as he looked at Evelyn. “Everything is fine,” he said soothingly. “I was using a rather general spell before and it picked up something I wasn’t expecting.” He straightened and now his smile was broader and genuine. “You are with child. May I offer my congratulations?”
She'd apologize later. Solas' views on spirits had resonated with her, and she'd begun seeing them as he'd described them as much as she could, but it didn't always ease the worry... She knew it would also tear at Cullen if a demon snuck in. She'd never really asked how he'd felt knowing she could die, but she imagined it couldn't have been easy for him. So she was expecting a broad range of things, and preparing for the worst when Solas rose.
Then of course he knocked her off balance again. He was eerily good at that. "What?" She stared at him for some time before setting her good hand on her stomach. Ever since Haven things had been out of sorts enough that she hadn't spend a lot of time worrying about it. But now something fluttery and light settled on her heart and she gave a quick, short, laugh. "Oh, Maker." She glanced to the room to make sure Cullen hadn't noticed before looking to her friend again. "How sure are you?" She wanted to tell Cullen, but she had to ask.
Solas chuckled. “Very sure. The second spell confirmed it.” He was rather pleased. Evelyn had faced a great many difficulties, none of which were of her making and the chief of which had cost her the lower part of her arm. It still rankled that he’d had no better solution to that particular problem but the creation of the anchor had not been what he’d planned for. But that was beside the point right now. “Your child is strong and healthy.”
He followed her glance to the other room and cocked his head slightly. “I did not think to ask whether you had planned for children but… he will be pleased, will he not? I can assure you that your past… custodianship of the anchor will not affect your child nor should Cullen’s past usage of lyrium.”
“Well then,” it was all she had really. Children had always been such a vague concept. Now that was more sure. More real. The smile grew, growing fonder.
She looked up at Solas and smiled, “you do see how he is with the dogs don't you? He's going to be ecstatic. And we've talked. We both want this. The when was always left to chance but,” and there she paused. It'd be different talking about it with Bull, Dorian, or Sera. She could talk magic with Solas for hours but not this.
She blushed and cleared her throat “well you know.” She smiled at his assurances. They did help. She took a shaky breath and rose. “I should go tell him.” She reached out and went to hug Solas . “Thank you”
Solas nodded. It was the answer he’d expected but had still thought it wise to check. Cullen, especially after he and Evelyn had become close, had not struck him as a man who did not want a family, more one who’d thought a family was something he would never be able to have for various reasons. “Good. I am glad.” He chuckled at her blush and let a mischievous look grow on his face. He suspected Evelyn didn’t realise that his standing as the Dalish trickster god was a title he’d earned honestly and that he had never been either chaste or aloof from his people. “It is the trying that is the truly fun part though.”
He accepted the hug a little awkwardly then smiled again. “You are most welcome, da’len, and I wish you and Cullen all happiness.”
She blushed more. In truth, she looked at Solas the same way she'd looked at her mentors in the Circle. And she'd certainly never told them about what she did in her free time either. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." It was just different. Especially now she knew. It was like hearing about her brother's sex life. She accepted it existed, but she didn't want to know.
She stepped back from him and grinned. "Alright. If he passes out you'll have to wake him." she grinned mischievously before taking a breath to calm herself. Then with a nod she stepped out of the room. It was a mark on how well Josephine had schooled her that none of her excitement showed in her face. She looked as calm as she'd always looked when she'd walked amongst the nobles in Skyhold.
She stopped near Cullen and smiled at the dogs, thinking on how to phrase this. When she found it she gave an inward smile. "So. You know how you said you'd need a lot of books because you're a bit hopeless when it comes to names?" She let the question hang for a moment. "You might want to get started on that."
After answering Solas’ questions about his sudden lack of a shadow, Cullen had retreated to the other room where Pup had been communing with Solas’ dogs. He was far more comfortable around magic these days but he would have had very little to contribute to the discussion as his knowledge of magic more leaned towards stopping it in its tracks. He’d been far more comfortable with the idea of playing with the dogs and had found Solas’ dogs to be startlingly intelligent. Like the Pup, he felt as though they actually understood what he was saying to them. They were still puppies despite that and were eager to play.
When Evelyn came into the room and started talking about books of names, he initially stared at her with a blank expression. Then the memory of when and why they’d been talking about books of names came back to him and he clambered to his feet, his eyes wide.
“I… what? Names? You mean…?” He trailed off and stared at her with mute hope, hardly daring to believe what she was suggesting. He swallowed. “Evelyn?”
His expression made her crack and she smiled. Honestly he was too adorable, and the look in his eyes was too much. She could never make him question too much because he'd only looked at her like this a few times. Once when she'd asked him if he had interest, once when they'd shared their first night, and then the last time was when he'd asked her to marry him, once his brain had caught up with him.
So, gently, she took his hand with her good one and set it over her stomach. "I mean, there'll be another Rutherford." Then she grinned, wide and pleased. "I'm pregnant, love. Solas just confirmed it." she brushed her fingers over his, still smiling with utter happiness.
Cullen stared at her for a moment as the words sank in then he smiled, broad and deliriously happy, even as his hand shifted to a more protective position on Evelyn’s stomach. This was something that he’d thought for so long that he would never have and now…
He burst out laughing and swept Evelyn up into his arms. “We’re having a baby,” he said, his voice full of wonder and joy. “Maker, I never thought…” He laughed again. “I love you. So much. Evelyn… you have given me everything I could ever have dreamed of.”
She laughed too when he swept her up, and her good arm shifted from his hand to settling around his neck. Children for her had always been something she'd wanted, but couldn't have. As much as her mother had made her Circle life easier, a child born there (and out of wedlock to boot) would have been quietly removed and given to another Chantry and she'd have never seen it. This, now, was something she knew no one could take from her (and woe be to those that tried) and something she'd wanted ever since she'd defeated Corypheus, even only vaguely. Before the Exalted Council, she'd often considered a fe curly haired babies, and now she was going to have that.
She was ecstatic, and even more knowing he was too. "I love you as well." She drew back enough to look at him, tears of joy in her eyes "it's the same for me, you know that right? I never thought I would have this but then you came and here we are." She grinned, then laughed, "but this cannot be Baby Rutherford."
Cullen laughed, his own tears of joy blurring his vision momentarily. For all the titles he’d held, the honours he’d been given and the things he’d once thought important, none of them measured up to this moment. Templars rarely married and even more rarely had children so he’d long ago given up on the idea of family and fatherhood. Even leaving the Templars and joining the Inquisition hadn’t really changed that outlook. Until he’d met Evelyn and even then, he’d barely dared to dream of it.
“Here we are,” he echoed, unable to stop smiling. He chuckled ruefully. “I promise I’ll be better at names for our little one, if for no other reason than to ensure you don’t let Bull name them.” He shook his head. “They’re going to have the strangest set of ‘uncles’ and ‘aunts’.”
He felt a nudge at his hip and looked down to see the Pup sitting there, his stump of a tail wagging furiously as he recognised their happiness. “And a guardian Mabari, eh, Pup? You’ll protect this little one, won’t you?”
His comment made her laugh and she dropped her good hand to scratch the Mabari's nose. "Of course he is, and Bull's still going to give them a nickname. This is unavoidable." She laughed again, "Oh, Maker. Sera." Not that she wasn't looking forward to seeing her companions, her family, with this child. "And I have ideas. Trystan, for a boy. After my father." He'd died a year after she'd gone into the Circle so she'd never known him well but she did remember images of a man holding her close with nothing but love, being set on his shoulders and called 'princess' so she wanted to honor him. "I'm not sure for a girl. Giving her three names would be unfair, and Cassandra would arrive just to make disgusted noises at me for it." But between the three women, they'd practically taught her everything she'd ever need to know about the world and how to navigate through it. She couldn't imagine not honoring them in one way.
The excitement was tapering down, growing more into a sort of happiness she was sure wouldn't leave any time soon. But her more practical sense was also coming forward and she was already making plans. She wasn't nearly as good at it as Josephine, but she'd learned. "I don't mean to sound as if I distrust Solas but I'm stopping by at the clinic. When I went for Cole's friend they had a lot more to offer then our world ever did. Plus they could tell me how far along I am, and when we can expect the little one." She frowned, faintly. "Oh. Here I was thinking I should write Mother but I can't. That's a strange thing."
Cullen winced and then shook his head, laughing softly. “This child is going to grow up to terrorise the entirety of Thedas.” He considered the name and then nodded. “Trystan. I like that. And I think it would be worth every disgusted noise if we called a girl Cassandra.” He smiled ruefully. “I’m not sure I’d have made it through those first few months of the withdrawal if not for her. She’s been a rock and a damn good friend to me. Though it’s just as well I don’t mind the tough love approach.”
Actually he was fairly certain that Cassandra would be incredibly moved and honoured if they named their child after her, no matter how many disgusted noises she might make.
“That’s probably a good idea,” he said. “I do trust Solas but as far as I’m aware, he’s not a healer.” He sighed and glanced over towards the other room, where the puppies had disappeared not that long ago. “Though I suppose we may never know the full extent of who and what he is. Anyway, we’re here and we should take advantage of what they can do here.” He grimaced at the thought of letters. “Mia would want to know. And Branson and Rosalie. I wish I could tell them.”
“Terrorize, why I’m scandalized Serrah,” her tone was light and joking, too delighted to even pretend to be upset. “They will be great.” And if they inherited her magic, they’d have two of the greatest mages to help them, along with herself. She smiled then, “”I like that. We can keep those names, and once we know we have them.” It would be a nice thing to know if she was to have a son or daughter. So many things were made easier here.
She scoffed and shook her head, “he could walk out of that room and tell us he could cure the Blight and all I’d do is blink and say of course he can.” She shook her head and glanced back to the room. and frowned. Solas had been so angry that the Wardens had thought to outsmart the Blight, for them to find the old gods and kill them in their sleep. She wondered about that. “Anyway,” she looked back to Cullen, preferring to focus on him. “We’ll keep them in our hearts and prayers. Although should Mia ever show up, I’m not going to hide you from her wrath.”
Cullen chuckled then said very dryly, “If you think our child, with all the aunts and uncles he or she is going to have and everything they’re going to learn from them, isn’t going to terrorise Thedas then you are very optimistic. Between Leliana and Josephine alone, they’ll learn how to take over the world.”
He couldn’t help but laugh at that point, both at the (very accurate) thought and the just the situation as a whole. When she spoke about Solas, he snorted and then a thought occurred to him that began to coil and grow and Evelyn continued.
“It would be impossible to hide from Mia’s wrath no matter what I did,” he said wryly. “Just the amount of grovelling I’m going to have to do just to apologise for leaving Fereldan without telling them makes me wince.” He paused and then ventured hesitantly, “I had a thought. About Solas. And hear me out on this. You told us that he’d probably rather like to be talked out of what he’s planning to do and from what I’ve seen on the internet, he never intended to form the emotional bonds that he did with you and everyone else but that he values them highly. There’s a Fereldan tradition of asking people, often family members or trusted friends, to stand as guardian to your children if anything were to happen to you. They are usually deeply involved in the child’s life and if they’re not family, are considered an honorary uncle or aunt. What do you think of asking Solas to act in that role for our child? Give him a physical, tangible reason to stop his madness.”
She smirked, her eyes amused. "I am in full favor of them taking over the world. But I maintain they wouldn't terrorize. They'd just do it very sneakily." Although having been in a position of political and personal power she wouldn't really wish it on her children. It was a heavy burden to carry, and despite joking she'd be much happier if they would have a calm, and quiet life. Power had a cost, she'd learned that.
"It's alright," she gave cheerily, "we'll have to tell her we got married without really telling anyone." She'd written to Mia a few times and she liked the woman. She'd always looked forward to meeting Mia. She had a feeling they'd get along. When he spoke she listened to him, taking it in. At a whole, it wasn't a terrible idea. She suspected Solas had tried to maintain his distance while he was in Haven, because he'd been different when they'd come to Skyhold. Somewhere between the two locations he'd grown attached and cared about them all. It made her wonder if he'd found love, if he'd gone through with it all.
"I think that might be a good idea. It might help. I was thinking while you spoke. I think if he'd found love, he might not have done what he did. Or go about it a different way. Love is a great motivator. Making him a guardian, making him responsible, might help him see." Smiling she nodded, "but I would also like to give that to Bull, Dorian, and Sera. They've been with me the longest."
Cullen was certainly in agreement that he didn’t want their children having to go through what he or Evelyn had. Better that they grow up away from all of that, though at home even now the world wasn’t ready to settle into peace, no matter who might wish it. Back home, Solas was still someone they had to deal with and no one knew what kind of timeline he was working on.
“Maker,” he said with wry amusement. “All my siblings are going to kill me for that one. You know they’ll probably make us get married again just so they can see it?”
He cocked his head slightly and thought about that. Love was powerful, he’d be the first to agree with that, and maybe, if Solas had found that, he would see what there is in the world to protect, rather than destroy. But he had looked at a few things on the internet here and he grimaced.
“I know there are versions of the game we’re from where he can do that,” he said slowly. “Where you are a female elf and he falls in love. He still leaves though, still claims that he will carry out his plans. Whether that love would change things in the long run, well, no one knows that.” He shook his head. “But irrespective of that, I still think he’s capable of great love. I think he’s just too caught up in his grief and his pain to see what is right in front of him.”
Cullen licked his lips. “More than anyone, I know how easy it is to get lost in grief and guilt and fear and anger and pain. How easy it is to lose yourself in that and stop seeing what’s right there, staring you in the face. But a child?” He chuckled softly. “Children cut through all our adult rubbish and I think a child might be able to do the same for him. And of course we can have the others as well. There are quite often multiple guardians.”
She gave an amused snort and shook her head. "I'm surprised enough Josephine let us get away with it. I half expected she'd drag us in front of the Sunburts Throne and make Leliana marry us." And while it would have been nice, it would have also been far too big and noisy for her tastes. She'd loved the small, simply moment they'd had. A calm place and moment in a sea of uncertainty. "It's alright. My mother will make us do something big and extravagant. My brother's wedding was something, and she'll be thrilled she can fuss over me."
She made a face at his confession, "this is why I do not look anything up. I like my optimism. Maybe it doesn't stop him from leaving, from making plans but to go through with it? Changing everything and knowing you'll hurt your heart over it? I can't see him doing that." She sighed. "He is, and that's the part I plan on changing. Showing him what is in front of him." Smiling she nodded, "If he gets one of his own that'll change even more. Maybe I should make that my grand plan. Get him someone and make sure he has a family."
"Good," smiling she kissed him, "thank you." At least she'd stopped worrying about her lack of a shadow. This was a lot better to focus on. "Let's go home? And we should request bigger quarters. We'll need a bit more space soon enough."
He laughed and shook his head. “I was a little surprised myself. But I was glad we had the wedding we did.” He stared at her for a moment then just shook his head. “Maker’s breath. Does she actually need us there for that or can we let her think we’re going along with it and run away at the last moment?” Not that he would if it was something Evelyn wanted to do, whether it was for herself or to make her mother happy. He’d just want to do it.
My need for information and wanting to plan ahead for any potential trouble got the better of me,” he admitted with a shrug. “I didn’t read too deeply into certain things but that caught my eye.” He chuckled. “You’re going to matchmake for Solas? Now that’s something I’d like to see. But you might be right. Give him something here, in this world, to show him that it’s not as bad as he thinks, just different. And that different can be good.”
He deepened the kiss for a moment then pulled away, keep her hand in his. “We will indeed. We should also celebrate. This is definitely worth celebrating.”