Mary Winchester {is not a hunter} (nohunting) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2015-11-26 16:39:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !thread, dean winchester, mary winchester |
WHO: Mary and Dean Winchester
WHAT: Awkward bonding
WHEN: {backdated} November 2
WHERE: Mary's
RATING|STATUS: Sad | In progress
The day had finally taken it’s toll on Dean at around 3pm. So he’d ducked out of work early. He was still waiting on a part, so it wouldn’t matter much if he was there or not seeing as the car wouldn’t be getting it’s new brakes until the morning anyway. The apartment was as empty as he’d left it at 7am, only Princess there to watch him gulp down a half bottle of whiskey. He wondered where Castiel was, if he needed rescuing from his big brother, but he was in no fit state to take on the Archangel just then. November 2nd was always a rough day for him, for Sammy too, but Dean always tried to hide it. Today he couldn’t. He was losing it or something, that would explain why he kept seeing his Dad everywhere he turned. John had first appeared that morning, the something that had woken Dean early, a good couple of hours before his alarm. His father had been standing at the foot of the bed, watching him and no matter what Dean said or did, he didn’t reply, he just faded. Since then Dean had seen him twice at work and again back at the apartment, John didn’t speak once, even though he looked like he’d wanted to. Something was stopping him. Maybe the veil couldn’t stretch far enough from their own world to here? He didn’t know. But seeing the ghost of his Father on the anniversary of his Mom’s death was tearing him apart. Shouldn’t his Dad be with his Mom? Couldn’t he appear to her? His failed attempt at a network post was probably more the alcohol’s doing than his own, but after a few exchanges with Jo he felt a tiny bit better. Pushing himself up from his spot on the floor, he wandered through to the bathroom, turning on the cold water and splashing his face. He didn’t even jump when he saw his Dad over his shoulder in the mirror. “Hey, I’m going over there now. You should come. See how good she is for yourself.” John just smiled, but it wasn’t a happy expression and Dean clenched his jaw, pinching the bridge of his nose hard before exiting the bathroom and heading down nine floors to his Mom’s. -- Mary’s time in this world should have been happily spent looking after her grown-up boys who didn’t need mothering anymore, but were instead filled with tension just as much as looking after. Things with Sam, the son she didn’t know, were good. He needed lots of looking after, especially after his injury, and she was good at that. It made her feel needed, like she could finally start making up for making the bad decisions that forced them to grow up hunting and without a mother. Sam she understood. He was a lot like the John she knew. He was kind and giving and patient. Dean, on the other hand...everything about her relationship with her baby boy broke her heart. They’d barely had a chance to get over the awkwardness of meeting the man he became before she messed everything up again. Mary still didn’t know what it was he’d been doing the night he checked himself out of the hospital and left Sam there, but he’d obviously felt that that was where he needed to be, and who was she to question that? She was basically no one to him. He’d barely even gotten to know who she was before she got herself killed, she had no right to question his motives or actions. The hunter in her knew she was being ridiculous, and that of course she had every right to know where he was because she was his mother and she needed to know he was safe, but the mother in her still felt incredibly guilty for making the deal that would ruin everything. So she’d been hiding, a little. She spent all her time with Sam and tried not to try to avoid Dean (and was only mildly successful). When her youngest went ahead and cured his spinal injury, she had a hard time blaming him when she’d also chosen the supernatural way to bring John back from the dead, but at the same time, she saw the consequences of her decision and didn’t want Sam to go through anything similar; the only real way to do that was to just stay in her apartment for the first time in weeks. Mary hadn’t really met anyone outside of people in her sons’ lives, so she was quite surprised to hear a knock on her door, and even more surprised to find Dean standing on the other side of it. “Dean. Come in.” She’d said her apologies and he seemed to take them, but things had still been tense between them, and she wanted to put things right with him. She just didn’t quite know how. --- “Mom.” He hated the way his voice sounded, and the way he still had to keep his jaw clenched in a vain attempt to keep himself in check. His eyes were burning and he dropped his gaze to the floor as he stepped into the apartment, looking away from his parents for a moment. It wasn’t fair. Clearly his Mom couldn’t see her John standing there, and it killed Dean that he could, because the sadness in his Dad’s eyes was the same as it had been that night thirty three years ago. Clearing his throat a little, he looked back up at Mary, giving a smile, though even to him it felt like a weak effort. “How are you?” This was so awkward, it shouldn’t be like this, but he had managed to make it so somehow, and he was sure showing up half drunk on her doorstep wouldn’t make things easier. Plus, blurting out that he was seeing her husband’s ghost probably wasn’t going to help with the whole awkward thing. --- Getting a better look at him as he came inside, she noted that he did not look good. He looked upset, and possibly a little drunk. The urge to hug him was overwhelming, but she wasn’t sure how welcome it would be, so she fought it and held back. For now, at least. She wanted to make sure he wasn’t upset with her still. “I’m fine, Dean, what’s wrong?” Mary stepped closer to him, and it was at that point that she couldn’t fight the maternal need to comfort him any longer and reached out to lay a hand on his cheek. “Are you alright?” --- He passed a hand over his face at her question, letting it drop to his side again as he tried to think of an answer. What was wrong? He was seeing things. He was reliving memories from decades ago. He was wasting time on the past when he should be spending it with her now, every chance he got… the list went on. A second or two passed and she moved closer, Dean could see the concern in her eyes and he hated that he was the reason behind the expression. As she laid her hand against his cheek, he tilted into the touch, control slipping enough to let his jaw unclench. Huffing out a breath, he closed his eyes and shook his head the tiniest bit. “I don’t think so.” --- Worrying about her children was what a mother was supposed to do, so if Dean ever voiced pain at seeing her concern, she would reprimand him. Hating to see her concerned about him was just silly; of course she was going to be concerned about him, for the rest of her life. And probably after that too. The good news was that whatever had transpired between them before seemed to be gone now, and that was all Mary could ask for. All she wanted was for her boys to be healthy and happy, and for her to have a good relationship with them. She had that with Sam, and now that he was as healthy and happy as he could be, all she had left to worry about and work on was Dean. “Come here,” she said, drawing him into a hug; Dean was much taller than she was, but she didn’t care. It was nice to feel like his mother again. “What happened?” |