I don't... matter. He does though. He's been the only good thing in it. And I hate that every time I promise him that I'll never leave him again, it's a lie. More of a lie than I knew. And now - with Lily gone - now he knows it too. Or he knows something, I don't know how his mind'll twist it. I swear, somedays I think he's getting worse not better. Sometimes it's hard to be around him, but I'm always so afraid not to be.