I'm sorry that you were removed from a situation in which you could make a meaningful choice about your life -- and your death -- and placed in a situation that you can't control for the amusement of a box that none of us really understand. I wont' pretend to know how you feel. But I imagine this, coupled with the fear that it could all go away at any moment, makes finding meaning and purpose in the life you have now very difficult. People seem to adjust with time, but I can't speak to your situation from experience.
But if there's anything I can do to make life easier for you while you're here, I'm a housing assistant, and I would be happy to help you. My partner and I are in 2105. And we have a large selection of teas.