Peter Petrelli | Heroes (savedthechrldr) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2013-02-04 11:15:00 |
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A bit to his surprise, Peter found that he was awake a good bit before he needed to be on Monday morning. He'd not gotten home until almost 5am, but he was laying wide awake in bed by eleven o'clock. Sleep didn't come as easy as it used to. When he was a kid, he'd been able to sleep anywhere, any time, but now it seemed as if every hour of sleep was some kind of fight with his body. And since he'd arrived here...well, things had just gotten worse. The more time passed, the more he realized that he shouldn't have watched his show. Of course, hindsight was always twenty-twenty, and he also realized that if he hadn't, the curiosity would have torn him apart. But it had been...horrible to watch the things that would happen in his life...an emotional roller-coaster with a lot more downs than ups. And some of them he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to get over. Like losing Nathan. Or having his mother lie to him about it for months. He ran a hand through his hair, then rubbed his eyes with his palm, forcing himself awake. Work had been the only way to escape from all of the things that had been plaguing him. While he was working, he didn't have to think about how he'd been unable to save Nathan. He didn't have to think about how it had all been his fault. He didn't have to think about how he'd messed up everything for Lucy and her sister, or how he'd helped to kill his own father. He didn't have to think of his part in Simone's death, or in getting Caitlin lost in some apocalyptic future. When he was busy, when he was working, he could concentrate instead on making up for all the terrible things he'd done, making a difference, saving lives, getting rid of even a little of the red in his ledger. If he could save enough, if he could save them all...maybe God could forgive him. Maybe he could find a way to forgive himself. He pushed himself out of bed, took a quick shower and pulled on some clothes, then knocked on Nathan's door. "Hey, you up?" |