AGENT 13 [Sharon Carter] (agent13) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2015-07-06 16:52:00 |
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Lassen & Hennigs had been a stable in the Brooklyn landscape since the 1940s, and that was exactly why Sharon had chosen it as the spot to grab a coffee, and talk to Steve about the horrorshow that was the universe she'd come from, particularly in regards to the Red Skull's long history with her Steve Rogers. She thought that the nostalgia would serve as either a comfort or a distraction for this Steve, and either way it would ease the blow of the bad news she was about to give him. Like a good spy, Sharon arrived earlier enough to case the joint and chose a spot that gave her a good vantage point to survey the entire restaurant. She ordered herself a coffee and a bagel, and waited for Steve to find his way to Brooklyn from Potts Tower. Parts of this story she'd touched on before. She'd mentioned, when Steve first learned about the fact Bucky had indeed become the Winter Soldier, that in her world, Barnes had killed the Red Skull -- what she'd skipped over, was the detail that the Skull that Barnes had killed was actually the mind of a skull in a clone of Steve's body. Now she thought maybe she had explained that too him at the time, even if it hadn't seemed all that relevant. It was hard to know what to say to Steve, and what to avoid talking about. She wanted him to be as prepared as possible for what was coming, but she also didn't want to get too personal about any of it. Over the years, she'd made a lot of mistakes in her universe in regards to Steve Rogers, some of which had almost gotten them both killed, and it was hard to filter out her guilt from things when she talked about them. It didn't really compare, though, to the mistakes she'd made about Bucky Barnes: When they'd encountered her Winter Soldier, back home, she'd told Rogers that they should kill him. That it would be better if Bucky died than if he'd remembered everything he'd done; that bringing him back was an inhumane as keeping a suffering animal alive. But Steve hadn't listened and he'd gone ahead and used the cube to bring Bucky's memories back. Sharon remembered everything about that moment, right down to the inflection in Bucky's voice, with the first words he'd said. Keeping him alive was a mistaken, and if she'd pulled the trigger faster, she might have hurt Steve, but for Barnes there was no denying it would have been better. Even now, he still talked about the fact that he'd probably never be able to die because he wanted it too much. That was part of the reason she didn't reach out to this world's Bucky at all. There was no really good outcome to that kind of an interaction. Either she learned that it was the same for him, that he regretted the fact that he had to continue, and that he was still alive with the weight of his actions on his shoulders, or his life was somehow better than the Bucky's that she knew. Neither option was all that great. And it wasn't exactly something she could talk to either Steve about. She was glad, now, that Bucky was alive. He was probably one of her best friends, and it was why she tried so hard to make sure he was happy -- or at least, happy enough. It's why she'd wanted him to move in with her and Steve and it was why she was glad that he was on her SHIELD team. She wanted to watch out for him. It was probably weird to say that she felt like she was making up for the fact she hadn't killed him, but none of the relationships in Sharon's life were exactly straight forward, and that one was what it was. Of course, she'd also been on-again-off-again for ten years with her aunt's wartime sweetheart. So maybe a little irregular and fucked-up was the only way she knew how to be close to people. Or maybe it was just the only way that worked for her. If there was someone to blame for where she'd picked up that particular personality trait, it was probably Nick Fury. Which also gave her a pretty high bar to strive towards: so long as her life was never as screwball as his, she was still doing okay. So okay, in fact, that she could still convince herself that meeting a fresh-faced, wide-eyed, younger and less jaded Captain America on the down low, in some gentrified corner of Brooklyn wouldn't be bad for business. |