I don't like using people's names when I talk to them.
Scam mail, huh? Letters from long lost relatives asking you to send them a check to pay off the taxes to inherit the manor, eh?
God, I don't know why I always picture Downton Abbey when I think about your childhood. Like, I know where you lived I bought the build and where you grew up and I know it wasn't that long ago and not in England, but when I think about little you, it's always to this soundtrack.