and we can see our life in stardust written in the sky Who: Revan & Bastila Shan When: Backdated to April 13 because I suck, following this conversation Where: R1507 What: His wife is here and dammit everything else can wait Rating: PG, stupid fluff Status: Complete
He didn’t know what to think. His heart had caught in his throat when he read the words -- to know that his wife was here, of all places, against all odds, was not something he’d been prepared to swallow. Certainly, he had hoped. He had wished for it. He had wanted it to happen. When he last saw her, she was carrying his child. He had no idea if he would ever see her again when he left for the Unknown Regions, in search of a truth he had desperately needed to know. Instead, he wound up here, where the rules of nature were completely different and the Tesseract dictated who came and went. He hadn’t dared to hope so earnestly, yet he had anyway, and now that she was here…
There was nothing to say. All he knew was that he hadn’t moved his body quite as fast as he was now, walking with such a purpose that no one could stop him in his tracks. And mercy help them if they tried.
By the time he’d reached the door he’d come to know as his own in this city, he had to actively remind himself to remember his calm. He closed his eyes, letting the Code’s words run through his mind as he steadied the emotions bubbling in his chest. Then, with a new resolve, he settled his hand on the doorknob and opened it, easing it slowly and stepping inside. The amount of effort he put into calming himself nearly shattered when his eyes fell on her form standing there. Even with her back to him, he knew without a doubt that it was her. The fall of her dark hair, the way her shoulders looked small yet carried a weight invisible to anyone who didn’t recognise her for the woman she was. Memories of just how much he admired her flooded his mind, and for a moment, he was speechless.
The speechlessness didn’t last long as he took a few steps toward her. “I admit, I never thought you’d wind up here. I probably would have cleaned up a little if I had known.”
In truth, the state of his assigned living area was not precisely ‘messy’ by any means. There was a black jacket thrown across the couch, a partially empty bottle of wine sitting on the coffee table, and the makeshift decks of pazaak cards he’d made for Johanna. Everything else was left relatively untouched, evidence of the fact he barely spent time there. Though if she’d gone to the bedroom the worst she would have found is the unmade bed that played home to leave a pile of sheets.
---
Bastila had come to the apartment hoping to find him here but he wasn’t in. He had assured her that he’d be home soon and she knew that he would. Thirteen years since she had seen him, touched him, held him in her arms. How much had time changed him? Would he be disappointed in the way she looked now? There was so much to tell him, he known she was pregnant but he had never seen their son and she wished that he’d been with her so that he could meet his father. Whatever this place was, it seemed to have a perverse sense of humor by bringing her here without Vaner.
She heard the door open and turned around to see him standing there. He looked just as she remembered and a smile lit her face. “Revan my love,” she said as she hurried across the room and threw her arms around him. “It’s really you. It’s really you.” She had known it even before she’d seen him, she’d felt him in the Force, there was no other person she knew who felt the way Revan did to her and there never would be.
---
Although the embrace was not unwanted, Revan couldn’t help but laugh a little. To his mind, it had only been a few weeks since he had last seen her, and though it felt like an eternity for him, there was a small part of his mind that wondered why she seemed more desperate than he did. For the time being, he was content to simply push such thoughts away as he pressed his face into her neck, breathing in her skin and the smell of her hair. He kept his arms wrapped firmly around her petite frame, keeping her pressed against his body while he stood there with his eyes closed.
It would take a few more moments of quiet before he realised something felt amiss. Not wrong, not necessarily, but different. Odd. Almost unfamiliar. There was something aged about the way she felt through the Force, as if she was...older, wiser, and in some ways, stronger in the Force. But that couldn’t be possible, could it?
Revan pulled away just slightly, unable to fight off the thoughts ebbing away his veneer of calm. He searched her face for a moment, his gaze taking in every slight, minor change that he almost immediately realised. Suddenly, he remembered everything about what he’d heard of the Tesseract’s sick sense of humour -- the other Jedi here were thousands of years in his own future. Would it be so cruel as to bring her from a time different than his own? Did it bring her from years after he had left?
He didn’t want to think about what it meant that she seemed so desperate to see him, but it came to him anyway. Understanding came to him in a wave as he considered her face, one of his hands brought up to press against her cheek as he offered a weak smile. Though he tried to keep it from her, his eyes told that he knew he must have failed.
“Did you expect any less?” he asked, his tone taking on a softer note. “I’m full of surprises, you know that.”
---
She looked into his eyes and she knew. “It’s been thirteen years since I last saw you,” she said softly. “I know I’ve aged. I’m sorry that I disappoint you my love.” Bastila didn’t understand how this could have happened. How could Revan be from an earlier time, he looked to be the age he had been when he’d left and now she had nearly caught up to him in years. “What kind of insane place is this? Did the Council banish you and taunt me with the fact that you were still out there somewhere for thirteen years before sending me to you?” It didn’t make sense but it wouldn’t have surprised her either especially since they were separated from their son. The son Revan had never met.
---
He couldn’t stop the look of surprise from crossing his face, his mouth gaping open just slightly as he stared at her. Thirteen years? Thirteen years since he had last seen his wife, pregnant with his child. His child who was now, what? Twelve? Thirteen years old? Thirteen years she hadn’t seen him, and he knew that he must have been dead in her time. Or worse.
“No, you haven’t...you’re not the one who’s disappointed me,” he started slowly, doing his best impression of someone whose throat was not completely dry all of a sudden. He shifted the subject elsewhere instead. “No, it wasn’t the Council...it’s, er…” He took a step back to bring a hand up to rub his forehead, forcing his mind to still itself before it spiralled out of control with thoughts of how badly he had failed his family.
“The Tesseract is an artifact from this world. It...draws people from different universes through and drops us off. In this world, you and I are…” he struggled only for a few seconds to find the right words. “We don’t exist in the same manner that others do. We’re just stories to the people here.”
---
Bastila watched him, she could see that her words had surprised him, could feel it in the Force as well. “The people where I arrived, they told me that. To this world we aren’t real. I didn’t understand it but now I do. We’re from two very different times aren’t we?” she stepped forward and took his hand. “We have a son, Revan. He’s a wonderful young man. He’s twelve, almost thirteen now. I wish he’d been with me when the light took me, perhaps he would be here.” She wondered if that were possible or if their son might even arrive on his own. “It’s been some time since I’ve heard from you but not a day went by that I didn’t think of you. I was a Jedi Master for a time but that didn’t fit me too well as you can imagine,” she shook her head. “but you were always with me….always...you never left my thoughts, you never left me. I could feel you, Revan. I don’t understand this place but I do know one thing. It’s brought us together again so how can that be a bad thing?”
---
How can it be a bad thing, indeed? He wondered it himself, yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something inherently sinister about a place that seemed to pick and choose who they tore from their homeworlds and brought to this unfamiliar place.
To hear he had a son nearly thirteen years old brought an emotion to his eyes he couldn’t, and didn’t bother to, conceal. He leaned his head down and rested his forehead against hers gently, closing his eyes as he decided to bask in her closeness. His thoughts were troubled and full of turmoil, but at the same time, being near Bastila again eased his mind as quickly as each thought cropped up. He brought his hands to her face as he pulled away to look at her, rubbing his thumbs gently over her cheeks.
“I love you,” he said. There was more on his mind, of course, so much more. Yet these were the only words he knew mattered, especially right now. He emphasised the words by planting a kiss on her lips, holding there for a moment before he released her. “I’m sorry I...failed you.”
---
“And I love you,” she said, reaching up to take his hands. “And you didn’t fail me, my love. You didn’t. Yes I missed you every single day but I understood. I never stopped hoping that you’d return and I knew you were out there. Part of you was always with me, nothing can take that away from us and our son...he’s another part of both of us.” Bastila smiled but the smile was tinged with sadness. “I wish you could see him. That was the hardest for me, wanting you to return so that you could know your son.”
There had been a time when Bastila had been angry but she wasn’t going to tell Revan that, not now. She had come to accept that he’d done what he had to do and as hard as life had been without him, she never doubted that he was out there somewhere. She could feel him and she never stopped believing. “I have loved you for so long that I don’t even know what it’s like to not love you,” she said and touched his face, still not quite believing he was here in front of her. “and right now I don’t want to think about anything except you and me.”
---
He no longer had words for anything she had said. There was an obvious air of sorrow, of regret, that lingered between them like a thick curtain. So much of him knew that what he had set out to do, had to be done. His nightmares hadn’t come back to him simply to keep him awake, after all. Whatever it was that he had discovered before he fell to the dark side could have been far worse than losing the years from his family. And yet…
And yet he could feel the anger beneath the surface of his calm. Below the forced complacency, below the gentle way he was looking at his wife. There was a rumbling of fury that was difficult to control, but he did so anyway. What he had found either killed him or did far worse to him. Bastila would have told him if he had fallen again, wouldn’t she? She would regard him with fear and distrust, not love and longing. It was only a tiny comfort for him.
Revan brought his own hand up to cover hers, squeezing her fingers gently as he closed his eyes, steadying his breaths.
“Come,” he said finally, the calm in his voice masking the flurry of emotions he felt. He began to pull her toward his bedroom. Conversation was nice, but there was nothing else he knew to say. All he knew was there was a sense of need -- he needed to be close to her, needed to be with her, if only to make up for the time that had been stolen from her.
---
“Yes,” she whispered. Bastila could sense some of the turmoil in him but she could also sense his love for her and right now that was all she wanted to think about. The love she had for him and his for her. Without another word, she followed him, knowing that once they were in each other’s arms, there would be no need for words. Their bodies and hearts would say all that needed to be said.