I don't want to be jerked around. I don't want to keep being somebody's filler while they wait for something better. I don't want to be somebody's bandaid that lets them get through the day in a relationship that doesn't make them happy. I don't want to be supplemental. I don't want to be something that someone's ashamed of. I don't want to be loved in part, or for the person someone thinks I could be. I don't want to be loved as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I'm tired of it.
If people don't trust me, if they don't want to give me a chance, that's fine. I get that. I know who I was, and what I did. And I know I've screwed up since then, even though some of it was-- well, complicated. But I'm tired of people telling me they're giving me an opportunity to change and then punishing me for who I used to be.