Talking to others who have been through a similar experience, and there are a number here who have learned things about our futures that have been painful, may be something that's helpful. Relise that you are not alone and allow yourself the opportunity to grieve. It's okay to not be okay with what will be for a while.
I've been here nearly two years though, and the life I have here is not the one I have at home. If you are here long enough you will create your own future here - and perhaps that will be helpful for you as you are working through what you have learned.