That's true. If Simon were here I'd suggest you ask him, but I don't know if he would tell you. He might feel it against his medical oath to only do good and protect.
Perhaps you are putting to much pressure on yourself, and on him, but particularly on yourself. At home, I will be quite frank, you and Wash have a close relationship that many people would envy, but that is at home, and it is a time that hasn't come for you yet. It is a complication, but you're hardly a woman to be frightened away by complications.
This is a different place, we have different paths from at home. Give yourself time to get used to the idea that he's here. Chat with him in a low key way if he's willing to it. You may find you like him, or you may not -- and there is no wrong in either path -- but give yourself the freedom to find it. If it would help I could talk to him as well.