Harry
You can channel it, or you can find something that's productive instead of destructive. It doesn't make it easier, not really, but it helps. And you find the things you love about yourself, and you find the person who sees those things the same way you do.
And if you can't find those things? You find the person who can. And you listen to them.
Believe me, there is no such thing as too numb to care. I threw so much feeling away, intentionally... And still. It didn't really ever do much.