-- Both, apparently. [...] -- I've got this whole life at home and for the longest time I just wanted to get back to it -- I think that changed -- It feels really weird to write that out. [...] -- I just don't want to live my life here around what isn't here and miss what is -- But then there's that chance of what isn't here being here -- A this is reminding me & as Veronica knows -- You guys all right? -- I mean, you're giving her a birthday party so - I'm assuming you are?