Sam | Mara
That must be hard, having that unanswered question in the back of your mind. I know it's been hard on me, but the show has answered all the questions I had and more that I never even thought to ask. So that's one thing I don't have to live with anymore.
Moya seemed to think it was sentient, and I'd trust her to understand that better than me. I think I've heard someone else say that, too, but it's hard to know who actually knows for sure and who's just anthropomorphizing. I'd personally prefer randomness, because I'm tired of being used for higher purposes, but maybe that's just me.
I'm not a fan of them, and it's not just because they called me a bad guy. Though that doesn't help.
Yeah, I'm fine now. I've had time to process it, and honestly, I feel like I've mostly reverted back to the way I was before I got the memory dump. I already had those experiences in my head from watching them on the show, they're just a little bit more tangible-- but not as real as the things I've technically lived through, if that makes any sense. And, yeah. The stuff I've been watching on TV lately is definitely affecting me more than those memories are. I'm pretty pissed at him right now, honestly-- and afraid for him, too, which almost just makes me angrier. I don't know if I'd be able to compartmentalize it if he showed up again, especially from a point when some or all of that has happened for him.