Peter Parker (![]() ![]() @ 2013-10-18 23:14:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, !trigger warning, mary jane "mj" watson (616), peter parker / spider-man (616) |
Who: MJ & Peter (616)
When: October 16th; nighttime
Where: Empire State Building
What: Rooftop reflections~ and a few realizations that come with Jess Jones having a baby.
Rating: Warning for mentions of a stillborn baby!
The night sky twinkled with every single light in NYC, it seemed. MJ dangled her legs over the side of the building, high up above the noise of the city. She leaned back on her palms and just studied the softly fluttering waves with the dots of ships off in the distance. It was soothing. You could almost forget about all the cars and traffic way up here, but there were some things you just can't escape. For one brief instant, after Jessica had pushed for her life, there had been no sound in the room. That second stretched for so long that Mary Jane was beginning to feel as if she was all alone in that dark hospital again, waiting desperately for the sound of a baby screaming her first screams. She'd held her breath, and even after the doctor consoled her, MJ still wouldn't let herself believe it. There was life, there was hope, she felt it inside her. How could baby May fight so much to be born and then not a peep? When Danielle hollered, Mary Jane felt like a weight had been lifted from her own shoulders. She'd never been in the hospital room when Gale had given birth - fact: she'd actually run as far away from the hospital as she could - so it was something of a huge step for the redhead. She was ridiculously happy for Jessica and her beautiful daughter. But when everything was said and done, MJ was so tired that it was too hard to hide her own emotions. She'd excused herself, told Jessica she'd return in the morning (another feat in itself), and sought out Peter. They'd come here, to the top of the Empire State Building. Their spot. The whole way there, MJ'd buried her face against Peter's neck and had very little of her usual buoyancy when it came to web-swinging. Maybe it was just time that she admitted that helping a dear friend with her pregnancy, with her baby shower, with her daughter's birth had taken its toll on Mary Jane Watson. The month of October hadn't been a happy month in some time - even if Peter's birthday was smack in the middle of it - and there were so many reasons here to be happy. It felt self-indulgent and ridiculous to spend any amount of time reliving the past, especially after she had worked so hard to get over it. The second set of memories didn't help either; they were just a scab on top of the wound. And that was all just her side of things. She'd spent so much time worrying about Peter, how he was handling everything, that it was a relief not to think about herself. If she was lucky, she'd be able to get away with it this time too. Her hand rose, skittered across the concrete until her fingers found his gloved hand. She wrapped her hand across his knuckles and asked, "Penny for your thoughts, tiger." “If my hand’s sweaty, it’s ‘cause I don’t think a woman’s ever held it before,” Peter replied, rolling his head towards MJ and giving her a slight smirk from where he’d pulled his mask up and over his mouth and nose. “Are we gonna kiss, too? Man, should’ve brought breath mints. And my tongue’s probably dyed red by fruit punch. Also, I think I’m in my underwear…” He looked down, feigning a frown. It had been such a long time since crawling up here. There were a few select places with memories tethered to them. The Brooklyn Bridge, of course. Forest Hills. And here. The Empire State Building rarely ever got named when it came to Peter Parker and MJ Watson. ‘Our spot’ was the usual pick. Funny thing, reducing one of NYC’s most known landmarks down to something that belonged to just them, but up here and alone? It felt that way. This was their cut of the City. But he ducked his head, sobering up a little. His hand flipped over MJ’s, his fingers lacing between hers. “You did awesome today, y’know.” There were more than a few smart ass replies bouncing around in her head, anything to not talk about it. The it that she'd been avoiding since taking up the mantle of baby shower hostess. She knew any joke uttered would fall flat anyway. She latched onto Peter's hand as if it was a lifeline. Good thing he had super strength; this probably barely registered. "I didn't do anything but hold a scared woman's hand. Anyone else would have done the same," MJ countered, an eyebrow tilting upwards. It was easier to lie when he had that mask on. If she didn't have to look in his eyes, she could get away with almost anything. "But she is beautiful. A little smushed, but that's newborns for you." Peter’s fingers smoothed out over the tops of MJ’s hand; he tugged the set to rest atop his leg, leaning in a little towards her to even up the distance. It was well into night now, and the sunsets were only getting earlier and earlier. That always meant longer patrols for Peter. A little less sleep, too. But all of that was set aside for a peaceful moment with MJ. Well, mostly peaceful. He didn’t have a Spider Sense for emotions, but he could tell she wasn’t as all right as she was trying to convince him of. “You held Jessica Jones’s hand, MJ. Woman could crush a mega jawbreaker with her pinky if she really wanted to.” On a whim, he gave her another tug, swooping their joined hands up and over her so she was snagged in a side embrace against him. His free hand reached up to the back of his mask, yanking it completely off. If anyone needed him on the comm system, they could figure out how to text instead. “You never give yourself enough credit. You did a lot. For Jess, for Danielle -- and I know it wasn’t easy.” Mary Jane held out her free hand, the one she'd let Jessica hold onto. It was sore, of course, but Jessica had been concentrating mostly pushing, which was a blessing. The knuckles were a little raw, and there would be hell to pay in the morning, but it was worth it. She dug her shoulder into Peter's side to snuggle up and dropped her temple against his shoulder. Sometimes it sucked that he knew her so well, and now the mask had come off. "I feel selfish, Peter. I feel like I'm making this day about me by feeling this way," Mary Jane confessed. "But it's so close to Halloween, and May might be here, but…" But she died for them. She was glad she hadn't in that world, for May's sake - and her parents, of course - but sometimes when MJ looked at her, she ached for a do-over on that day. She'd have done something - anything - different to keep May from dying. "Guess I'm still the same girl I always was." “Man, I wish you could see you the way I do,” Peter answered. He shifted a bit, making sure MJ was comfortably tucked in at his side. It was easy to believe in these moments that he could protect her from anything, but then reality set in. That didn’t mean squat for their own May. She was gone. She’d been gone for so long. It always left a hollow feeling -- that gap in their lives that couldn’t be filled. Somedays it was harder to cover that up. Peter understood that. “Never met anyone more selfless, MJ. How many times were you there for me whenever I hit ruts? Nah, you can’t turn off what you’re feeling, even if you wish it could just poof away.” Even if he wished he could make it vanish for her. “But you? You overcome things like no one else. And you did it alo--” He stopped himself, mouth immediately seizing up on word. Because there was his guilt flaring up. The tiny sigh that managed to bubble its way up was in no way a slight against Peter, but it felt as if they'd skipped through the grieving process and gone straight to trying to move on, to get over what had happened. Between May and Ben, there had been very little joy, and they had to hold onto each other for anything pleasant. "Shhh," she said, replacing the arm across her chest and in his hand with the other so that she could slip her arm behind his waist and hold onto him. "That wasn't your fault, and I'm glad you were there with Ben. He shouldn't have died, but if he had to, I wanted you to be there with him." “Hey, hey --” A small laugh escaped Peter as he watched MJ wriggle into holding him back. “I was trying to be consoling, and you just hadda go flip it back on me.” The grin on his mouth faltered, though. Kidding or not, his mind was rushing back through memories of that night. They felt more like echoes these days thanks to the deal with Mephisto, but he knew it was real. The weight of that pulled Peter’s chin down, his head nuzzling against MJ’s temple. “No one should’ve died that night. I know it doesn’t do any good saying life’s not fair, but that was just… god, that was…” He squeezed MJ a little. His voice was quiet. “Glad I had you then. Glad I do now.” "Peter, I'm glad you weren't there." It sounded like a strange sentiment to admit, because there was nothing in the world she'd wanted more than for Peter to be there with her through the contractions, to hold her hand, and tell her that everything was going to be all right. To the outside world, their relationship must have been the most dysfunctional thing in the world, with MJ making excuses for Peter left and right, but it worked. Sometimes, MJ thought the secret to their marriage was that they had time to appreciate each other when they were around one another. MJ liked to go out dancing with her friends, hated dragging Peter with her when he clearly wasn't all that thrilled. He liked to stop bad guys, and he couldn't do that with a girlfriend hanging onto his side. He could handle so much, and yet, Mary Jane was certain there was no way that Peter would have been able to handle being in that room. "It was bad enough that I was, and I'd hate to see the look of sh - horror when you realized what happened." It wasn’t like he had the will to argue -- not that it was arguing. It was just MJ being alone. The thought was crushing, even if he knew there was a point that him being there might not have helped so much as amplified that hopeless feeling. It was their usual: coming together in the aftermath and finding a way to move forward together. A perfect system? No. But it carried them so far. It had worked. “No use in wishing anything happened different, huh?” Peter breathed out a sigh. The wounds weren’t raw, but the scars were still there. He still remembered the numbness that settled in like a shield against all that pain. “We already know how that one goes.” "I think I'm going to tell May what happened." Her arm tightened at Peter's waist as she pulled herself upright (and consequently closer). Having May here, however it came to be, opened MJ's eyes, and she knew that she wanted to try for another one. At some point. Not now because she could be sent back, or he could, and then it would be worse than never having tried, but in the future - if they had one here - she wanted a child. But the deal with Mephisto could stay in some hollow spot in her head for all she cared. May needn't ever be told about that. "I think she has a right to know that what happened to our world's May." Peter’s brows raised, his head instinctively turning over and down to look at MJ. He felt her tighten her hold, and it was clear that it wasn’t for balance. The words took a second longer to decipher and sort to his mildly-addled brain. It was that immediate jolt of panic that surged. THe news would be hard for May. They couldn’t predict how she’d handle it. It would hurt -- probably for them all. But… MJ had a point. The reply came slowly, but not unsurely. “Yeah. Yeah, she does.” He swallowed, folding down around Mary Jane a little more. For all the good this world brought, it did keep a constant focus on what happened back home. Maybe they just needed to talk it out with May in order to move on a little. If she understood where they were coming from… “I’ll be there with you,” Peter added. He was sure MJ knew that already. So that was settled, and in many ways, MJ was relieved that it was, even if the hardest part was yet to come. May was a tough girl - she had to be with Spider-Man and MJ as parents - but she was also soft-hearted. If there was anything in the world she didn't want to do, it was cause Mayday Parker anymore pain than she'd already been dealt. The second would be causing Peter Parker any pain. She slipped her other arm around his middle and just held him quietly for a long while. Or it felt long. Sometimes time was weird when she was with Peter up here. "You are the best friend I've ever had, Peter. You have no idea what you mean to me." The City below was twinkling with lights going on and off in the high rises, and it almost made for a hypnotic, soothing effect. Focus on the little blinks, let his mind rest for a moment, feel MJ at his side. This used to be more of a memory than a reality after they’d gone their separate ways to try and learn how to be single again. Fact was that single life was overrated. When you found someone you should be with? Maybe next time telling a demon to go shove it was a better choice. Nah, it wasn’t that easy at the time, but life without MJ just wasn’t the same. Of course it wasn’t. And not in a good way. “I think I got an idea,” Peter murmured back. “Something like what you mean to me. ‘Cept I never have to chase you down and demand your costume to wash because it smells like sewer. We can keep it that way.” "Yeah, that'll never happen. Unless someone kidnaps me off a plane again, I guess." Mary Jane laughed. It was a quiet laugh, but it was genuine. She gave Peter's side a poke, knowing that it was his ticklish spot. She was struck with the thought that she hoped they got the Tesseract under control, she didn't want to go home. Not if it meant that Otto killed Peter and took over his body, not if it meant that May and Ben went back to being truly dead for them. Not if it meant the little family they'd made here was gone. She enjoyed the slower pace of life here, even if it wasn't that slow. There was always something going on, of course, but this way they could take some time for themselves. "For the record, you really should smell yourself sometime when it's been days of you in that costume. See what it's like from my point of view." Peter bit his lip, trying to contain the laugh that was still bubbling up and around. He arched a brow at her when she stopped prodding his side, then stooped down to anchor his chin atop her shoulder. “See what you get now? Stinky Parker, all up in your space. Although…” His tone took a thoughtful upward timbre. “I can always borrow your exfoliating stuff now that you’re moving in. Honest, MJ, I think that stuff’s magic.” MJ nuzzled the side of his face, even though they were being more playful now than they had been. She wasn't ready to go home yet, fearing that she might grab Mayday and never let her go. And then snatch Ben. She'd use her best puppy dog eyes to get the three of them with their webs to make a tent in the living room, and then they'd all sleep in it, as if they were the only people in the world. At least that way, she'd know first thing if someone was taken back. "You know, there's a whole world out there of personal hygiene things that seem like magic. I should know; I pimped some of it in the other dimension." Free stuff. God, MJ missed the free stuff. "If it's the same here as it was there, anyway." “PDA on the top of the Empire State -- you know, if anyone’s squinting up this high, they’re probably wondering what those two specks way, way up there are doing. Oh, just talking about lotion. No big.” Peter swung a leg out, looping it around MJ’s which was dangling right to the side. Might as well go for the gold at this point. When was the last time they’d had a little session roof-side? They could both use something less stressful about now, anyway. “Hey, wanna hear about esters that make fruit smell good? I can tell you about esters that make fruit sm--” "Peter? No. No esters. No fruit smell." MJ interrupted, gazing at him with some combination of playful annoyance. Her fingers clutched the bottom of his jaw, under his chin, in such a way that he had no choice but to pucker up. Or resemble a fish. Maybe a little bit of both. There wasn't much else to say, really. He was about to get the point anyway. For the split second before she kissed him, she made a quick, silent prayer to thank whatever deity let this moment - and the ones that came before and the ones that would come after in this dimension - be. Nothing was ever easy, but at least there was Peter's comfort and arms around her to help get through things. This dimension had showed her that the hollow ache inside her had been Peter all along. He was already smiling as MJ’s lips met his. There was a time when he wasn’t sure that Peter Parker as a person did any good for Mary Jane Watson, but it was impossible to not feel that way in these moments. It was give and receive. Equals. The kiss only deepened. Yeah, something like love, too. |