sam winchester (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} neversurrender) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} thedoorway, |
Either that or somebody from this universe did it. There are definitely people who feel unfriendly towards the refugees in the tower and towards Tony Stark. I suspect they don't know the who, but hopefully they'll figure it out pretty quick. I'm honestly kind of okay with being out of the loop and just taking care of my own people, personally. And no, this universe doesn't seem to have any of the things I usually hunt, except for what's come through the tesseract.
I'd be alone forever if not for slightly insane women. Or I'd just be in relationships where they knew none of this, which is much less appealing now that I know what it's like to actually be completely honest.
Mainly? It makes me look at you differently because I know you're walking around carrying all of that inside your head. I know how much effect things like that can have on a person, and not just on the people you hurt but on you, once you had enough of a conscience to kick yourself over it. Because that's the thing, monsters aren't always born, they're made. They're made by other monsters that turn you into creatures, or take away your soul, or feed you their blood. I'm not going to say it wasn't you, because I've been in enough situations where it "wasn't me", but it was, and I know what that feels like. So yeah, I can still stand to be around you without ripping your guts out, and I sympathize. I'm sorry that you had to be Angelus when you could have been Angel instead, if not for things going the way they did. If I'd met you as Angelus, sure, I definitely would've wanted to tear you apart, just like I'd have wanted to tear myself apart if I could have met myself soulless. But you're Angel now, which is the most important thing. You have a soul that gives you enough willpower to be a better person, and I don't think you're going to hurt anyone here. That's enough for me.
And I'm sure there will be plenty of lowlife criminals that I'll want to rip to shreds. It's almost worse when the monsters I run into are people, you know? More personal, less possible to see the difference between me and them. The scariest villains are the ones you can see yourself in. And yeah, your story scares the crap out of me, but not because you scare me, more because I'm scared of the part of me that could do awful things, too. That will do awful things, in the future.
But hopefully while I'm here I'll get to be the one decent lawyer that you know. And you'll be the one person I've met who's managed to come back from worse things than most people could even imagine. At home I might well end up being a human that's committed as many crimes as you have, so I'm counting on you to pull that off. Show me that there's hope for both of us.
But you know, no pressure or anything. I'm sure you're taking care of guilting yourself into it enough as it is.