Tony Stark (616), cool exec with a heart of steel (tonystark) wrote in thedoorway,
Steve.
I have been trying to look out for his well-being, because I know he's not good at doing it for himself. That just makes it harder to set him loose and hope for the best.
It's messed up, Steve. It's messed up, because I don't want to have control over him. I didn't mean to exercise influence over him, or make him feel he wasn't an equal party in our relationship. I certainly never intentionally used his feelings for me to manipulate him. I never-- I know how it looks, I know it seems like I just... got wrapped up in something stupid and jerked him around because I wasn't thinking and I didn't care. I know it seems like I'm just... trying to chop up our relationship and choose the bits I like, but it isn't like that. It wasn't that he liked me better than I liked him and I just tried not to notice because that was more convenient for me. It was -- very confusing. He was a significant part of my life for a while, and just not having him around anymore is hard. He's more of a presence in my life when we're not talking than when we are. I don't like having these big things hanging over my head that feel unresolved.
I want to know how it ends. Even if it ends badly. I don't want him to run off and hang out with the other Tony Stark and tell me to fuck off, but if that's what's going to happen anyway, why can't we just accelerate the process?