Angel | Sam
Yeah, you and most everyone else around here, including me. But I like believing in free will, even if that means I'm the one responsible for all my fuck-ups.
Well, so far. Not everyone has gone back-- I think Buffy is the current record holder on that, actually. It's either her or Sam Merlotte, I'm not sure which of them was first. They've been here over a year. Nobody's got any idea what makes people stay or go, but it does seem to be a little bit of a trend that those who want to be here the most tend to have better staying power. I've seen a couple people get really sad about someone leaving or something else and decide they wanted to go home a few days later, but I've also seen people dislike it here and still end up here for a while. I'll add you to my list of people to tell if I ever figure out how to stay here. It's a short list.
Not coincidentally, it's also a list of "not entirely human and destined to be evil/possessed/soulless at some point in the future". Welcome to the club, you're our third member.
I think if being friends with you were automatically a pain, you'd have a lot less friends. But I know the feeling. And there are plenty of people here that you haven't hurt in the past, who've been pretty accepting of me and who/what I am and what I've done. I mean, usually just telling people that I'm a hunter is off-putting enough for people, without even touching on the worse things I've done, but this is sort of a community of people who've been through their own versions of hell, literal or figurative. So they tend to be more understanding than most.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? If you'd managed to find a way to deal with the weight of all the hell you're carrying around, and then met someone that was struggling with the same kinds of experiences? Yeah, I think you'd do the same thing for me.
Not sure I can help you with the Buffy's boyfriend issue, though. Is it a jealousy thing?