Most of it's still to come in my future too, actually. So far, I've started an apocalypse. I've still got being possessed by the devil and losing my soul and a whole lot of other crap to come, too.
I live with myself because there are still people that want me alive, even with the things I've done. And because I believe that as long as I'm alive, there's still a chance for me to do enough good to outweigh the bad, or at least a chance to learn from my mistakes and break what I've fixed, and avoid breaking more. For as long as I'm here, that's even easier than it is at home, because none of the angels and demons that want to twist and corrupt and break me can get at me here. Not so far, anyway.
The thing that possessed you isn't here, right? And you have your soul. You're not a danger to anyone here. And so far as we know, nothing we do here is going to change what happens to us at home-- which is frustrating because we want to change it, but it also means that trying to get yourself killed here isn't going to help. For all we know, dying here actually sends you back to that ahead of schedule. So there's not much else to do but take the chance at a different life-- or at least a break from your old life-- that you've been given here, and try to do something good with it.