I think our dog Conquistador ate the remote control. He is bad at sight so he probably thought it was a bone. We should probably take him to the vet so we don't miss Deal or No Deal. Also so he does not die. I would like to point out that this would not have happened if they'd let us keep the Gremlin, because Gremlins can digest anything. I know this because he ate my shoe off my foot so he could bite my ankle. I still have scars, but April says that they are love bites. I guess Nazareth was right: love really does hurt.
Yours,
Andy Dwyer
P.S. This also would not have happened if SOMEONE had made me my Iron Llama so I could take Conquistador to work with me. That someone's name rhymes with Bony Shark.