Boyd had the good sense to look slightly abashed at the idea that someone could read a lie in him if they wanted to; of course, Raylan had also been born with that skill, but since (he insisted) he didn't believe the truths even when Boyd told them, he was more like a broken lie detector for all his claims of accuracy. Lying was one of those sacred qualities that Boyd held very dear to his heart; it meant that he could avoid all manner of conversations when he had need to, it meant that he could tuck parts of himself away that he didn't like so much and never have to answer for them. Most of all, it meant that Boyd didn't have to be entirely honest, and honesty, pure unadulterated honesty, scared him more than nearly anything else. When he was honest, it was always on his terms - even now confessing his sins to a veritable stranger, he picked and chose what to confess and why. The one person he'd really vomited up his thoughts and feelings to afterward probably didn't even care to remember that night.
He watched the line of Castiel's jaw in his periphery, hard sometimes and soft others as he spoke, as memories coursed across muscle and nerve - or an approximation of them (Boyd didn't know if he was really a man); he seemed neither happy about the decision nor melancholy, and Boyd envied him this placidity; though he was cool, collected outside, the burn of anger and rage and helpless, frustrated guilt still roiled in his belly, searing anything it touched. He kept himself very quiet and still so that it never came out, but sometimes it bubbled up to the surface, one time leaving him afraid he'd killed another man after it had soothed back down. If he was going to prove Raylan wrong, he needed to keep that guilt but push back down the anger. That was his greater purpose in life. At the moment, anyhow.
He smiled, something wry that barely showed his teeth, and he glanced sidelong at Castiel, wondering less about his voice and more about his purpose.
"And may I ask why you chose your charges over your heavenly father?"