Tony Stark (616), cool exec with a heart of steel (tonystark) wrote in thedoorway,
Dorian/Tony
Probably. Trying to see what Steve sees in me has never really produced the desired results. Not when I know me better than he does. So I pretend he's right, because I want him to be.
But the super hero game is built on lies, cheap tricks and secrets. In this line of work, lying is essential to your survival. You have to lie to the public, to your friends, to your family, to keep them safe. But in the end, you also have to lie a little to live with yourself. You tell yourself that you had to do things when you know you did them because they were efficient. That you made the right call even when you know you didn't. That you don't have doubts even when you do. That you don't want the things you want because you think you can't have them, or don't deserve them. That you'd never kill an innocent man to save another, even when you know you would. Sometimes you even tell yourself you'd never do the things you've already done. Because next time would be different, even though you know it won't be. It never is.
That's life, isn't it? Live by the harmless untruths that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy. This is a different world, but the rules aren't different. The things I do here still have consequences. As long as I'm here, I still have to live with myself.