Private to Peter/Ben
Sad thing? We'd totally rock the mechanical bull. He'd be their god. God of mechanical bull riding. He's so popular they make him wear the cowboy boots and hat while swinging around the city. Because he's that cool.
I see your evil plan. You're just looking for any excuse to take your shirt off. Not that I'm seeing any fault in this plan. Other than all those pesky places that deny service in the absence of shirts.