What a truly remarkable place. I have never seen such an overabundance of girth green. I must admit I am still wrapping my head around the idea that this is real, but the gracious gentleman who greeted me when I arrived was very patient in explaining it to me. He even helped me understand how to use this little device.
Despite the introduction, I know that the majority of this world is still foreign to me. Is there anyone here who is willing and capable of helping me understand it? I would like to know more about the customs of this land before I cause unintended offense.
Apologies, I forget myself already. My name is Lucrezia Borgia, sister of Cesare Borgia who arrived here a few days ago. I'm sure it will be a pleasure to meet all of you.