WHO: Rae Ellis & Oliver Ford WHEN: Feb 11th, After 9pm [Backdated] WHERE: Staff Hall 102d WHAT: There were complications. Now they need to talk about them. RATING: Mildly nsfw but nothing overly explicit. STATUS: Closed/Complete
Forty-five minutes wasn’t nearly enough for Rae to be ready for this conversation. Considering one direction that it could go, he didn’t think he’d ever actually be ready. But he spent half that time cleaning up his room, getting rid of the few beer bottles and ash, spraying everything with Febreeze. Then he’d gone and taken an intensive shower, scrubbing himself clean from top to bottom so he didn’t smell like beer and alcohol. He would have had to do the same in the morning anyway so might as well do it now. Christ, he was glad he had a high alcohol tolerance. Nothing would seem amiss.
Especially once he was back in his quarters, downing water like it was going out of style. His hair looked wild and damp but he didn’t care. He just barely remembered to put on a sweater and a pair of pants to make himself look halfway presentable. Then he settled back on his pillows and waited... Then got up and paced for a moment. Then grabbed a book and settled back in, book braced on his drawn up knees.
When he eventually heard a knock, he called out, “It’s open.” As he didn’t think it was anyone but Oliver and no one with ill intent either way.
Oliver was a champion thinker. He'd certainly had enough time on his hands over the year to make a habit of it, examining thought and concept after concept. A busy mind had helped. Now he didn't know if his busy mind helped or hurt, because it had proved a major distraction over the last 48 hours. Telling Rae he needed time had been the right decision though, no matter how it had weighed on him. Epiphany had hit him this morning. He realized why he had been so scared and reticent when Rae suggested monogamy. Now just to express that coherently. Not easy.
When he entered at Rae's response, he closed the door and locked it - force of habit - before heading into Rae's room. Oliver couldn't suppress the smile at the sight of the angel, an undeniable fondness, a sort of warmth spreading through his chest. Missing him had been miserable.
“Hey.” He bit his bottom lip and stared a moment longer.
Waiting for a further invitation before climbing into the bed, Oliver mentally reviewed his explanation. His shifter senses caught up with him and he sniffed at the air before lifting an eyebrow. “It smells… like… cigarettes? And alcohol?” Rae, in particular. Oliver had already committed his scent to memory. Any differences were glaring.
His heart was going absolutely wild once Oliver was right there, leaving them safe in the room with a locked door. Rae worried his bottom lip for a moment, so much so that he actually peeled off a little layer of skin. He couldn’t help it. He was nervous, scared, but very glad that Oliver was here. If that locked door said anything, he wasn’t planning on going anywhere in a hurry either. But Rae didn’t want to hope.
“Hi,” he managed in a voice just above a whisper before gesturing to the other side of the bed. It was more comfortable to talk here than in the office. Anyone else and it would have been chairs. Rae scrunched up his nose at the assessment of the smell, “Oh come on... I cleaned. I took a shower. I even Febreezed the crap out of this place.” He shut his book and set it aside, heaving a heavy sigh, “Yes. I was drinking. And chain smoking. It’s a nerves thing. I’m immortal. It won’t kill me.”
“I’m a giant cat,” Oliver said with a chuckle, tapping the tip of his nose, and tilted his head thoughtfully. His next admission came through in a quieter register, lines of his face soft. “Besides, I know your scent.” The implication threaded through the words: he knew it and liked it.
Oliver crawled onto the bed, already shoeless from his walk over, and curled his legs underneath himself. Maybe two feet separated them. He wanted to close the distance, to run his fingertips over Rae’s lips, maybe bury his face in the crook of his neck. That would only distract him, of course. Instead, his fingers tugged and twisted his shirt before he let it fall from his hands. He snuck another glance at Rae.
“I missed you.” A simple admission, but he didn’t quite manage to meet Rae’s eyes. He had things to say, important things, but he didn’t quite know where to begin. That seemed good enough for now.
Rae opened his mouth to say something and then shut it with a nod of his head. Yeah, alright, he could see how it was the cat picking up on that. But the following confession made the angel shiver a little, worrying his lip even more. It made him wonder what other things Oliver could pick up, especially when they--but no. No thinking about that.
He was very careful not to look at Oliver, afraid of what he might do or say otherwise. This was Oliver’s time. Not Rae’s. He twisted his fingers into the worn sleeves of the oversized sweater. Rae’s eyes shut and his head fell forward a little, “I’m sorry.” Right back to that. He couldn’t help himself. “I-I missed you too,” the words didn’t quite encapsulate how much but they certainly tried. Would he keep missing Oliver after this conversation? Time would tell.
“I’m glad,” Oliver confessed, not even a scrap of shame or embarrassment for his selfish joy in the fact that Rae had missed him too. It wasn’t that he had doubted it. Not at all. But confirmation meant something. The silence had felt like Rae didn’t care, even though Oliver unquestionably knew better.
Well. Now was as good a time as any. Oliver had spent the better part of 48 hours thinking and rehearsing, so he might as well put that effort to use.
“I’ve thought a lot about this. Us. It’s…” A short barked laugh, almost self-deprecating. “It’s practically all I’ve been thinking about.” God, he wished that were a lie. He had felt pathetic and obsessed and a whole other slew of emotions for the sheer fact that he couldn’t get Rae off his mind. Especially considering that this was self-imposed on his part. Now that he was here though, that nervousness had diminished. “I have some things to say and I think I need to say it all at once. Is that okay?”
Rae huffed a breath, not at all surprised at Oliver’s response. The angel had probably seemed incredibly uncaring by breaking off communications but it was necessary. They both needed to have clear heads. It hadn’t helped that Rae had spent his evenings totally unfocused with beer and cigarettes instead but that wasn’t entirely a new thing for him. It’d just taken his mind off of... Everything.
He glanced at the shifter as he started talking but why did he not like the way that Oliver ended? It almost seemed like he was going to be in trouble, get a lecture, get told something he didn’t want to hear. All the bad things flooded his mind but he knew he needed to keep some sort of hope going. “Go ahead. That was the whole point, right? I won’t interrupt.” As much as he might want to. Rae knew how difficult it was for Oliver to put things into words though.
Okay. Oliver took a deep breath and tried to remember the words he’d run through his head a million times.
“I want you- I, I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you. I think about you all the time and you make me feel safe and wanted and special.” Oliver flashed a quick smile in Rae’s direction, cheeks impossibly pink. That had been oddly difficult to express.
“I told you I was scared.” And he had been. Awfully so, for reasons he couldn’t understand, much less explain at the time. “I didn’t know why and that bothered me. I had to think about it, kind of agonize over it, really. I figured it out, actually.” He straightened a little, pride in the set of his shoulders.
“Until two weeks ago, I was dependent on someone for everything, physically speaking.” He chewed at his bottom lip, not making eye contact again.
“I can’t depend on you for everything. For all of my emotional needs, I mean. It would be so easy to do though. Friend, therapist, lover, and then if you left me? What would I have? Nothing. That’s… it’s not healthy and it’s frightening. If we’re going to do this... I need you to be okay with Adrian and Annabelle. They’re my friends. I need them. I know you don’t trust them but they’re what I have. I need you to at least try to accept them. Do you think you can do that?” It was an honest question accompanied by a sideways glance. A make-or-break kind of question.
“And I need you to talk to me. About anything. Everything. Do you have any idea what it was like when you disappeared?” His voice wavered and his throat grew tight. “Being abandoned Rae, I can’t do it. I thought I’d gotten used to it but I felt so sick and awful when you were gone”
It was more than he intended to say. And he felt so vulnerable, everything out in the open like that. Had he been clear enough? Did it even make sense? Oliver hoped, but he suspected questions were forthcoming.
Okay, well, that wasn’t nearly as bad as Rae had been expecting it to be, to be perfectly honest. The angel had been very sure to watch everywhere but Oliver’s face the whole time, focused more on the way he squared his shoulders and the pain in his voice. Rae wilted a little. He’d made the shifter feel that and he wasn’t sure he could forgive himself. Still, he waited his turn, fidgeting so much with the sleeve of his sweater that the very edge was starting to unravel. Whoops.
“Okay... Okay. So. You’re right about the dependency. I won’t fault you on that one. But I’ve never said anything about you giving up your friends. It’s true, I don’t trust them but I’ve not said anything about not seeing them. At all. The whole point of this conversation was for one thing and one alone - just the certainty that when it comes down to it, mine is the only bed that you’re sharing. Be friends with whoever you want--well, okay I wouldn’t want you to befriend like a vampire Hitler or something.” He was rambling. How the Hell had he gotten to a vampire Hitler? The sweater sleeve unraveled a little more with his nervous fidgets.
And admittedly, that hadn’t actually said he’d accept Adrian and Annabelle, but he’d at least be tolerant of their existence. “I can’t promise that I’ll ever be okay with them. But they’re you’re friends. I’m not trying to take that away. I can just... Try.” Which he hadn’t exactly done before in the first place. And the awkward expression on his face showed that he knew that.
As for leaving (the sleeve unraveled some more - the yarn was several inches in length, twisted around Rae’s finger), “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’ve never really figured out how to do things without disappearing before. I can only promise to do my best to get better.”
Oliver nodded slowly, inclined his head in acknowledgement of his points. It was true, he supposed, that Rae hadn’t directly asked him to ignore his friends. And yet that was what it had felt like at the time. His reaction had seemed so extreme to Oliver that he hadn’t known what to do with it, had only thought to translate it negatively. That Rae would rather he didn’t see his friends. Didn’t spend time with them.
A half-smile settled on his features. “No, you didn’t say that, but… your reaction to them seemed very negative. Reserving sex just for you? That is not a problem. Not in the slightest.” How difficult could it be, after all? “I just need these ground rules. I’m still trying to figure myself out and that’s a part of it. I only ask that you try to accept them.”
He caught up Rae’s hands in his own, hoping to still his fingers, and brought one hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles.
“Please.” Oliver hated the pain in his voice, the desperation, and moved on as quickly as possible, staring at the hands in his. This was hard enough to say. He didn’t need to watch Rae’s expression. “Everyone leaves me, Rae. Everyone. I want you to be different.”
Rae heaved a sigh, “You’re right. It was. I couldn’t help but think just how very convenient it was for them to come back now. How if they cared so damned much, why couldn’t they face Julia and help you before now? That they let you suffer.” Well at least he had finally put voice to those thoughts. Another heavy breath, “I forget how scary families can be. My Father is the supreme being. Although I’m sure He’s no longer watching, I still fear Him. I should do better to be understanding.”
The angel wasn’t really surprised with the way Oliver captured his hands to still them, nor with the touch of his lips. Rae shifted to straddle the shifter’s hips, laying down on top of him so his head was at Oliver’s shoulder. He closed his eyes, “I was jealous. And afraid. My particular angelic rank hasn’t ever been known for their emotional moderation, as it were. Help me as I help you, alright?” That was surely a task that Oliver would be willing to take on if it meant keeping Rae from leaving.
And god, how much Oliver didn’t want to talk about that, his friends never coming back for him. Annabelle was young. Too young to understand, he realized. He couldn’t blame her. Besides, what could one tiny psychic girl do against her powerful witch mother? Adrian though. His heart ached a little when he wondered why the other man had never come back for him. They had been friends, maybe on the verge of something more, then nothing. Oliver had assumed that Julia had forbidden them, but after his talk with Adrian? It had sounded like the boy had gone willingly, just to get away from his mother. Leaving his best friend behind.
His fingers instinctively tugged at the worn friendship bracelet around his wrist while he wrapped arms around Rae. He would have to work on this some day, probably. Today was not that day. Already things were complicated. So he didn’t say anything more on the topic, just breathed in the scent of Rae, stronger with cigarettes and alcohol than he’d like but still his.
“Of course.” Oliver spoke quietly, feeling painfully and unbearably fond of Rae in this moment. “I want to help you. I want to make you as happy as you make me.”
He pulled the other man closer and settled against the bed, scooting back to lay against pillows. “Not known for emotional moderation? How so?” Oliver may not have believed in god, exactly, but that didn’t stop him from asking a zillion questions about the phenomenon.
Things were, indeed, incredibly complicated right now and honestly, Rae just wanted to lay on top of Oliver and veg out. That was totally an option now right? They were okay. Everything was okay. He really, really wanted to believe that but at the same time, he was afraid to do anything more than cuddle right now. Even sneaking a kiss seemed like a terrifying prospect at the moment. This might have just been a dream.
“Happiness isn’t the problem,” he told Oliver with a faint smile of amusement. Just the fear and simply how transient life could be from one moment to the next. It was funny just how small he could feel laying with Oliver in any fashion. The majority of their difference was sheer muscular bulk and yet Rae felt so tiny. That was just fine with him. “Well, the Morning Star fell and started a war over reasons of pure vanity and politics. Not exactly moderate. ‘Oh I’m so pretty. I should rule everything because I’m so stupidly pretty.’ What a tit.” Rae huffed a breath and frowned to himself as he murmured, “Idiot...”
Heavenly politics or whatever you’d call all that mostly went over Oliver’s head. It seemed like a bunch of overdramatic creatures making a mess out of everything, whether they had good or bad intentions. But still. Listening to Rae talk about anything brought a smile to Oliver’s face and he allowed his eyes to slide closed while he listened, humming thoughtfully here and there. “Vanity seems like the dumbest reason to start a war.” His fingers stroked through Rae’s hair gently, every so often twining a few strands around his index finger. Yes, this. This he could get used to, the closeness, the affection.
Of course before he got settled any more comfortably, Oliver realized that it wouldn’t hurt - might even be beneficial - to make sure they were on the same page.
“This is settled, right? You’re mine, I’m yours?” Oliver asked, voice rougher and interjection more blunt than he had intended, but well. He had gone through all the trouble to think about things, hours agonizing over what he should do, so he wanted to make sure he did it right. Any painful misunderstandings, he wanted those avoided.
Rae huffed and arched an eyebrow, “Pretty much. Still, although we were never close, he is my brother.” And that was that. The Morning Star had created a mess, left it for them to clean up... but they were still family, one way or another. Often the younger angels didn’t realize the connection or put the familial pieces together. Maybe they just didn’t want to think about it. They were just all too interconnected though.
But he pushed those thoughts from his mind just to enjoy Oliver’s touch, the way he pet the angel’s hair like he was the one who became a cat. Rae, on the other hand, was clinging like any moment Oliver might just poof into thin air. His fingers twisted into the shifter’s shirt tighter than he honestly realized.
He sat up a little at that question though, startled into laughter, “You have to ask? I was yours before you even realized it.” The change to laugh broke whatever tension was keeping him down and he leaned in to press Oliver into a firm kiss, claiming that mouth as his properly.
“You’re mine,” Oliver said with some wonder, as if he hadn’t realized that would be the eventual outcome of his conversation. That was… unbelievable. Unprecedented. Sent a shiver right down his spine. Something special, a relationship, a person, he could call his own. How novel.
His hand was flat against Rae’s back, fingers stretched wide as he returned the laugh, nodding. This was it. They had successfully navigated that discussion, despite the fact that he had been helming it. This was more than slightly exciting. When Rae kissed him, he responded immediately, one hand moving up along his spine and cupping the back of his head. A satisfied noise in the back of his throat was his only response for a moment while he tilted his head deepening the kiss for a few brief seconds before he broke it.
“I can…” His eyes practically lit up with the realizations. “I can kiss you whenever I like. I can hold your hand.” He inclined his head, nuzzling against Rae’s pulse point. “I can hold you.” Novel indeed. He was smiling broadly again.
Rae couldn’t help as his laughter continued when the full realization sort of hit Oliver like a Mack truck. Yes, the angel belonged to him and that meant a lot of things. Right now, it meant that they could kiss and enjoy each other’s company without the shadow of something larger looming over them. Their problems had been solved with time and effort, like many things in life. He breathed his amusement into the kiss, finally relaxing his hands to let them rest flat on Oliver’s chest.
His eyebrows went up as Oliver started connecting the dots out loud, nodding with each point. Yes, they could kiss and they could hold hands and cuddle. Whenever, wherever. Rae tilted his head slightly to bare more skin for Oliver, biting his bottom lip again for a moment. “You can do a lot of things,” he noted a little breathless, mind on the slightly healed bite marks he still sported. This time he hadn’t erased them. “And we’ve all the time in the world to explore each one,” though they were already off to a good start, “Though I wouldn’t mind listening to you list all the things you can do to and with me now.”
“I actually could keep listing them,” Oliver responded in a tone that suggested warning, since he figured Rae wouldn’t actually want him listing them. Because it was a lot. His thumb stroked the edge of Rae’s hairline gently as his hand stood still.
Another deep breath and he pulled in more of Rae’s scent.
“I can cover you in my scent again.” Okay, it was exceptionally territorial and possessive and way more animal than human, but Oliver didn’t think he cared. He could be that. Rae would tell him if it was too much or unwanted, he reminded himself.
Those old and fading marks caught his attention: like that, he could do that whenever he liked and he practically groaned. It was oddly heady and unexpected, particularly for something that really shouldn’t be a surprise. “I can leave more of my marks.” Oliver didn’t want to be a slave to that urge, that instinct, to mark Rae, but it felt so good. Seeing even the shadows of older marks made his pulse jump.
That warning made Rae laugh and he grinned at Oliver, “I want to hear all of it. I love listening to you talk. It’s like a special treat. And it doesn’t hurt that I am particularly fond of deep voices.” The shifter didn’t have absolutely the deepest voice Rae had ever heard but there was enough rumble there that it had all the right effects on the angel... All of the angel.
Ah, there was that territorial streak again. It definitely wasn’t unwanted at all. Honestly, he was sort of waiting for Oliver to remember their moments of total control which was even more relevant to that possessiveness now. He’d get there if he kept listing all the things he could do. Rae bit the tip of his tongue, grinning broadly as he sat up. The sweater was pulled up over his head and thrown off to the side on the floor so he could see the other marks still residing on his skin.
“You mean like this one?” he questioned cheekily as he pointed to a mark, then another and another, “And this one. This one was particularly hard.” Rae pouted like he actually meant his complaint but it was very, very clear that he was just being cheeky.
Oliver cocked his head, a curious and thoughtful smile on his face, and considered Rae’s words silently. Deep voices, something he’d never thought of, but his voice did have a certain low register. And Rae liked it. Every time the angel mentioned a particular characteristic he liked, Oliver committed it to memory, like a precious treasure to be guarded at all costs. It didn’t make sense, but that didn’t change the way it made him feel.
Oh, that teasing voice pulled a laugh from him while the discarding of the sweater made his breath catch. No, he would never get used to this, how gorgeous Rae was. The fact that Rae wanted him, of all people.The floaty gleeful sensation was unlike anything he’d ever known, just sheer happiness, without worry and reservation.
Oliver sat up, straightened, arms looped around Rae to hold him close, one hand splayed across his lower back, the other between his shoulder blades. His eyes met Rae’s, then strayed to study his lips, that pout. And who could resist? He nipped at his lower lip playfully.
“What was that? You want me bite you harder? I thought you’d never ask,” he teased in response, lowering his teeth to graze his throat, right over his pulse, to the juncture of his jaw and neck, under his ear.
From his sitting position, he leaned forward and pressed Rae into the bed. His palm moved along Rae’s side, pressure firm, while his gaze travelled over his chest down to his hips, and back up again. His thumb found Rae’s collarbone, tracing it with some combination of tenderness and lust. He arched a single eyebrow at him, unable to keep the predatory glint out of his eyes.
“Or maybe you just want more marks?”
Rae didn’t doubt he’d be the only one who would like to listen to Oliver talk for hours on end or read them something. Deep voices were a wonderful thing. But now this one belonged to him and anyone who tried to take that away from him was going to get into some serious trouble. Mostly dramatic pouting but whatever. It was trouble, one way or another.
He was glad that Oliver could recognize he was just teasing, but honestly it was so overplayed that no one could have taken that tone or that face seriously. He was being purposely childish. Those strong arms around his body did things to him that Rae really didn’t want to admit to but didn’t exactly hide the small rock of his hips. Damn. He stole a quick kiss when Oliver came in close, making an almost inaudible needy sound.
Bite harder? Yes please. But the words didn’t come out in any other way but a low moan, exasperated by the feel of teeth. His hands settled on Oliver’s biceps, holding on tightly - especially once he was being pushed onto his back. Rae’s knees pressed in tight at the shifter’s sides with his surprise. His heart was pounding but he started to push back, ‘struggling’ to get a way in an obvious non-effort, “You’re a brute. I won’t stand for it!” He was careful not to say ‘no’, needing that word to keep its meaning and weight.
There was a moment, a brief terrifying moment, where Oliver doubted himself. It dissipated but not quickly enough to avoid the hesitation that flashed across his features, however shortly. He didn’t trust himself to read people, not completely. There was so much he didn’t know. Only the broad strokes of emotion usually came through for him. Luckily he knew Rae. Moreorless.
His smirk returned as soon as it had left and his hands moved, exploring again. One grabbed Rae’s left wrist and pinned it above his head, the other trailing down the outside of his thigh, squeezing gently.
“Oh? I don’t think you have a choice.” Playful, he lifted an eyebrow before ducking his head and kissing along his jawline.
Teeth closing over his earlobe, Oliver tugged, once, twice, and a third time before moving to bite his neck. “I didn’t leave any marks here last time…” His voice was musing, his fingers curling around to the inside of his thigh and massaging lightly through the fabric of his pants.
Rae was sure to give Oliver’s arm a reassuring squeeze when he noticed that moment of hesitation. The angel was still here and the shifter wasn’t actually in trouble. It seemed that Oliver figured that out on his own though and they were quickly back to this dangerous game that they were playing. One of control with no real rules in place... Oliver hadn’t gotten back to giving orders yet so Rae hoped it had been forgotten.
But apparently he hadn’t forgotten about holding the angel down. Damn. Well there went that freedom of movement and any hope that he would end up coming out of this safe from debauchery. Wait, where was that hand going--oh. Rae squirmed, arching his back slightly like he was putting in more of an effort to get away when really he was just trying to find more physical contact with the shifter.
The angel moaned which he had meant to be a protest but it certainly didn’t end up that way. “D-don’t you dare,” he insisted weakly, breath catching in his throat. Admittedly, Oliver would have to fight with those skinny jeans first. He shifted one of his legs, trying to get it under the shifter to ‘push’ him away. Yes. Some mighty resistance. Mm-hmm.
Oliver really hadn’t consciously intended set things on this course but, well, that teasing tone of Rae’s had done him in and now here they were. The squeeze at his arm was encouraging though. Particularly because he also realized that he didn’t know what the hell he was doing or what the end goal was. He had just been going what whatever instincts he had, which were more than he had ever expected.
Those breathless words caught Oliver’s attention and he just had to pull back and take another look at him. Biting his bottom lip he studied Rae’s face with the focus and dedication one would apply to a piece of art. It was a break from his playful demeanor. Both hands otherwise occupied, he brushed his nose over Rae’s cheek, a light and tender motion, before kissing one of his moles.
“You are…” The words trailed off without completing the thought. His enthusing surely got old.
So he simply kissed the other cheek and pressed his nose close in to the underside of jaw, inhaling deeply before moving to do the same behind his ear. If it was weird, so be it, but Oliver seemed entirely incapable of resisting.
“Yes, I dare.” His lips moved against Rae’s ear and the hand at Rae’s thigh moved up, following the line of his waistband before unbuttoning his jeans. Oliver was cautious. Slow. He needed to make sure he was playing this right.
Really, Rae didn’t know what their end goal was either. At this point, he knew he was at least going to end up naked which really wasn’t a problem. It was the... wherever else they were going to have to figure out. At least he wasn’t drunk. There would have been so many problems then. But he suspected Oliver instinctively knew better so there was that. For a moment, he was afraid he’d gone too far with the way the shifter pulled back... But he realized it was one of those moments of adoration that liked to sneak in and his huffy pouting was broken by a giggle with that little kiss. Boy, he hated it when he giggled.
There was something about how addicted Oliver seemed to be to the angel’s scent that he couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his spine. It was a strange assurance that he sort of knew if anyone tried to replace him - some dark faerie or something - Oliver would know. Not that he suspected anything like that would ever happen but one never knew in this line of work.
Oh, that was a touch that was happening. Even as Rae’s treacherous body rolled his hips and betrayed the game, the angel kept ‘pushing’ as if he might actually manage to get away from Oliver. He twisted to try and get out of the shifter’s grip though he fully expected to be held in place with ease. “Beast,” he breathed like that was a very, very good thing, “D-don’t expect me to help you again.”
Scent held great meaning for Oliver. He never thought of it like that, as holding great meaning, but it was a touchstone he could keep coming back to. Something that persisted. Nevermind that Rae’s scent was just this side of intoxicating, whether because of the hormones involved or his own helpless emotional attachment or for some other reason entirely, he didn’t know. All he really knew for sure was that it soothed him, brought a smile to his face, and filled him with a quiet undercurrent of want.
Oliver laughed, a deep rumble in his chest, lower and rougher than he would have liked. “You’ll help me again.”
This sort of play, he understood it on a basic level, the levity that they both forced to float to the surface for the sake of being obvious. It left the tiniest concern in the back of his mind though. Made him question his actions.
So maybe it was time to ask.
His grip loosened and he leaned back, tilting his head to one side.
“This- this game, this is something you like?” Because he had to be sure. That hint - no matter how obviously fake - that something wasn’t reciprocal gave him pause. This was a new dimension, even if what they liked had been crystal clear the last time they were together. And, god, the way Rae had responded to his commands the other day. The memory alone made him feel too warm, his cheeks stained red, and he knew he would try that again some day. There was so much to explore here. Not the least of which was that overwhelming affection he experienced just looking at Rae.
Rae, of course, knew that he was going to be more than willing to help Oliver with whatever he needed but he had to have some sort of fight to him. There wasn’t a lot of ammo for him to work with at the moment though. It was either help, cuddle, pet or fuck. Neither of those were very good options. Well, maybe the petting. If he threatened never to pet Oliver or give him ear scritches again, Oliver might have very well turned on the pouting.
But he could feel hesitation and the grip loosened as Oliver leaned away. Rae shifted to be up on his elbows, watching the shifter very carefully. But the question made a very broad smile appear on the angel’s face. “Silly goose, if you think I couldn’t remove you from my bed if I really wanted to, you’ve got another thing coming. You might be bigger and stronger but I have my ways.”
He lifted a hand to trail his fingertips along Oliver’s cheek, then brushing a thumb across his bottom lip still smiling, “This is just a game and yes, it’s an enjoyable one.” He arched an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly, “But I mean... if you don’t want to play it...” Rae twisted to be more on his stomach to try and properly crawl away, just to see if Oliver would drag him back.
Oliver was quick to grab Rae and pull him back, turning the angel back to face him. “If it involves me with you, I want it.” His fingers wrapped around each wrist and lifted them to his lips, kissing his wrist and palm. Trying to express his worries still didn’t - probably wouldn’t ever - come easily. His instincts frightened him in a way that he knew they shouldn’t. They were natural. He had control. And Rae liked it but…
But it never hurt to check in.
“I just- I know you could but-” His forehead creased in thought and his lips pursed into a thin line while Oliver searched for the words. “But I never want you to need to remove me.”
That summed it up pretty succinctly, but Oliver felt compelled to say more. He curled in closer, draped Rae’s arms over his shoulders, and pressed their foreheads together, smiling faintly. “I want to make you feel good. Happy. I never want to do anything to make you that uncomfortable. Does that make sense?”
Rae squealed when he was grabbed and dragged back. His face was bright red and he let Oliver kiss whatever he wanted, basking in the affection. Poor boy just had such trouble with words. One day, they’d come easier but it would take a good, long while. For now, Rae could only be patient and wait for him to articulate what he wanted. A smile spread on the angel’s face as Oliver tried.
The angel held the shifter tight once his arms were in place, fingers twisting and twirling in that thick, dark hair he loved so much. “Yes, that makes perfect sense,” he told Oliver with a faint smile, “But I know that you would never do anything to really hurt me. I think it would kill you if you did. So I know that no matter what sort of play we’re doing, you’ll be careful. I trust in that. And you have to trust in me to be forgiving, even if you have a hard time forgiving yourself. There will be hiccups but they’re not the end of the world. As much as you hate them, they’re just moments to talk.”
Rae would get no argument there: even the idea of hurting Rae - actually, genuinely hurting him - made Oliver sick to his stomach. Playing was one thing and some part of him wondered if he could even do this without that force, without the need to bite and claim. Not that he had to find out, considering how positive Rae had been about it. The more he thought about it the more it seemed incredibly lucky that he'd found Rae.
“I… okay. Okay.” Accepting the idea that ‘hiccups’ were inevitable troubled him. He would have preferred to be unnaturally good at this, knowing what Rae wanted, what he needed. At least Rae acknowledging that up front would help him feel less like a failure when things went awry. That didn't mean he wouldn't be compelled to ask the questions that came to mind. “Sometimes I’ll do this though. Ask to make sure it’s okay. I can’t help it. I need to know sometimes. I know it’s dumb.”
Oliver kissed Rae’s temple, a simple affectionate gesture, maybe an apology or a thank you. “Where were we?” He asked with a chuckle, thumb rubbing over the curve of Rae's shoulder, casually like he didn't even have to think about the gesture.
No one was unnaturally good at this sort of thing. It took practice and care and they’d get there. Rae just kept playing with Oliver’s hair as he processed this whole thing, tried to be accepting. It was difficult, he was sure. “It’s fine; you can ask as many questions as you want. I’d rather you ask questions than assume and then someone gets upset, you know?” That would help prevent said hiccups. They’d be fine.
The angel closed his eyes, smiling faintly at the little kiss. Such a sweet gesture. That part, Oliver was a natural at. He could just soak up all this affection and never get tired of it. Where were they? Rae just barely managed not to smile and put on his pouty face again. “Well I was trying to get away because you’re a brute, remember?” He twisted again to pull himself along the mattress.
A part of Oliver wondered if all those small kisses would eventually become unwanted, more annoying than charming. Not a large part though. Someone as touch- and affection-starved as Oliver could hardly help himself. Human contact and kindness had been so far out of reach for so long that any opportunity to kiss or hold or touch was appreciated and never ignored. He'd never thought he'd be in a position to touch anyone kindly again. Everything about his situation now was unbelievable. A bit like a dream.
At Rae's reminder, he laughed, a deep and genuine laugh, the corners of his eyes creasing with the force of his smile. “Right, that.” Once he was done laughing and simply watching Rae with ill-concealed fondness, he leaned forward, snatching up Rae's wrists again, one in each hand.
“That's what you like about me though,” he stated, hint of a smirk on his face, and pinned those wrists against the bed, looming above Rae. He teased with light, almost non-existent bites along his jawline, then pulled back to look at him, eyebrow raised. “Isn't it? You would be disappointed if I wasn’t.” A certain smugness underscored his words.
Never. They would never become unwanted because Rae adored the affection even if it made him feel particularly vain. He preened under the attention - and that was especially vain. He had started trying to take better care to look some semblance of put together now instead of just throwing on whatever smelled clean. It was utterly sinful and that was perhaps why he loved the attention the most. Still, no punishment had come from above, no loss of grace... This was alright and he would take every moment of it as he could until it did. Punishment be damned, if you’ll pardon the pun.
“I don’t like it at all,” he tried to lie but the laughter and the smirk on Oliver’s face ruined that attempt entirely. He ended up having to pucker his lips and shut his eyes to keep from smiling... And even then it failed because he was laughing all over again to the point of tears. “Damn! I think I’m ruined. I can’t!” It took a rather impressive display of arching his body with his hands pinned to steal a kiss but he managed it, still laughing into it. “You are too cute,” he managed once he pulled back just enough to speak.
Oliver couldn't help but laugh again when they parted, helplessly and hopelessly smitten with the man beneath him. His smile fanned out uncontrollably, stretched across his face so widely he thought his cheeks might split. He couldn't remember ever smiling this much. Rae really was something. When his smile receded slightly, he posed a question with a chuckle “Ruined the moment, did I?”
A faint blush rested on his cheeks. Being called cute would still take some getting used to, especially when Rae was referring to his human form. It struck him again that this was such incredible good fortune.
His grip released those wrists and he sat up straight looking down at the angel consideringly. That path didn't seem to be one they were going down tonight. Oliver was completely fine with that this time. At that moment something struck him, a hazy memory from their first night together and his smile became just a little more mischievous. Taking his now unoccupied hands, Oliver ran his lightly over Rae's sides and then his stomach. His gaze stayed trained on the other man's face, hoping he would find some ticklish spot. That seemed like the order of the hour.
Rae was almost certain that smile was going to split Oliver’s face and he would be stuck totally infatuated with a hand puppet. That certainly wouldn’t be ideal but he’d live with it. Rae bumped his nose against the shifters and shrugged his shoulders as much as he could in this position, “What are you gonna do? These things happen. Could be a worse sort of ruining.” Then he kissed the corner of Oliver’s mouth just to hide his own broad smile.
Once his hands were free, he shifted his arms so he could relax his shoulders a little. But there was a heavy suspicion in his face as Oliver regarded him with that particular sort of smile. Oh no. No, no. Rae hadn’t read his mind but he could use his eyes perfectly well. He managed to start saying, “None of tha--” before it turned into an unintelligible squeal right when Oliver got to a place on his stomach. The angel kicked and he ended up shooting off the edge of the bed and landing on the floor with a hard thump.
“... Ow...” came his voice a moment later. Then he sat up and tossed his hair back, giving Oliver a very dirty look. “It’s like that is it?” Rae crawled up to the edge of the bed, looking very much like a cat about to pounce... Which is what followed precisely one second later as he launched himself at the shifter.
That squeal was everything Oliver had been aiming for and prompted another laugh from him. He was about to lean in and kiss his abdomen, maybe blow a raspberry on his tummy. (It was a dimly remembered form of affection that made him smile.)
Of course, that all came to a screeching halt when Rae launched himself off the side of the bed. Oliver found himself torn between laughing hysterically and checking on the other man, which left him tentatively edging forward. “Rae?” he tried just as tentatively, craning his neck to get a view of the other man. He felt marginally bad: that really hadn’t been the intended outcome. Mostly, he’d just wanted to see Rae doubled over in laughter.
Oliver’s eyes widened when Rae climbed up on the bed again. That look, it meant trouble. But still, he couldn’t quite hold back the laughter filling his chest.
Even when Rae pounced on him, Oliver couldn’t stem the laughter, arms wrapping around the angel the moment he collided with him. He didn’t fight it when their momentum knocked him backward and landed back against the bed, a puff of air knocked out of his lungs. “Yeah, I guess that’s how it is,” he answered, still chuckling softly, but abandoned the tickle mission for now.
Laughing hysterically was definitely an acceptable reaction to that over dramatic mess. There was really absolutely no need to feel bad. He wasn’t really that hurt - maybe a little bit of a bruise on his hip later but it wasn’t like he didn’t have enough purple marks on him from all of Oliver’s biting. To be perfectly honest, he was amazed he didn’t have one on the back of his neck or something overly animalistic like that.
Rae pushed his hands into Oliver’s shoulders once the bigger man was pressed into the mattress as if he could possibly pin the shifter. As if to prove he could be just as big and brutish and bitey, he tried to pull off a snarl. It wasn’t quite the effect that he wanted but leaning down to bite Oliver’s bottom lip with a firmness that would leave a bruise behind might. Tickling be damned. Rae was vetoing tickles right now. The angel raked his short fingernails down along Oliver’s arms since his chest was still covered, leaving raised red marks behind.
For the moment, Oliver happily allowed Rae to pin him back against the bed and his hands to fall to the man's waist while he stared up at him. The pad of his thumb absently traced circles against the skin of Rae's waist, stroking the skin softly. Amusement and silent laughter lingered on his features. That turned into actual laughter at Rae's snarl as he shook his head and beamed up at him. Who even knew it was possible to be this happy? “Oh god, you're so-”
Cute, cute was what he meant to say. Until those teeth found his lip. His words died immediately, replaced by a loud moan, and his fingers tightened their hold automatically. He schooled his features into something approaching a smirk, but he couldn't manage anything so nonchalant, biting his bottom lip before he spoke “Oh really? What do you think you're doing?”
“I’ve decided I want to be top cat around here,” he stated in his most determined and yet incredibly pouty voice, “You don’t get to hold me down anymore or boss me around.” He straightened up again, pushing a hand through his hair to get it out of his face, “And there’s nothing you can do about it.” Which was an absolute total lie. All of it. Admittedly, it was technically ‘acting’ so he wasn’t actually ‘lying’ persay. After all, Oliver knew exactly what he could do about Rae’s sudden pouty attitude.
Oliver laughed again despite himself, like he couldn’t do anything but find amusement in the idea of Rae being ‘top cat.’ Honestly, a few weeks ago, when Oliver was new and entirely clueless, it might not have sounded quite so absurd. Now it didn’t seem realistic. Not in this space, anyway.
“Oh, there’s a lot I can do about it. If I wanted to.” His hand trailed up Rae’s side and gripped the back of his neck hard in a silent casual display of strength. The hold loosened but his hand remained. “But…” A soft smile had replaced his laughter while he studied the angel intently. Even two days had been too long away from all this, which he knew was absurd and ridiculous but it was also true.
“Come here, top cat. Will you let me hold you?” he asked, fondness written all over his face as he stroked Rae’s neck.
The moan that escaped the angel was most certainly not voluntary, nor was the roll of his hips when Oliver gripped the back of his neck. He probably should have been offended that he’d just been scruffed like a kitten but he definitely wasn’t. So much for being the top cat though. Not that he had at all expected that to work - really, he didn’t want to be top cat.
“I suppose,” he pouted, moving to pretty much lay on top of Oliver like a blanket. This was nice too. He was glad things were finally sorted and they could get on with this budding relationship. Now Rae didn’t have to be afraid of losing Oliver to... whatever. Not unless some strange mutual parting occurred. Not that he would force the shifter to stay with him if Oliver wanted to leave but that wasn’t the point. He was thinking too much. “We’ll have to get celebratory milkshakes later.”
That moan, the roll of his hips, had Oliver reconsidering his request the instant it left his lips, because maybe there was a better way to spend his time tonight. Sex was still new and more exciting than it probably should have been. Maybe he shouldn't have been so keen on it, but, well, his mind wandered in that direction too often, despite his best efforts. Rae settled against him though and there was that contentment again. He simply wrapped one arm around the other man while he kept his other hand against his neck. His response to milkshakes was a quiet chuckle and murmur of approval. Who could argue with that?
Without thinking, he spoke absently, voice distant “I didn't know how nice it was… just touching.” Or maybe he'd forgotten. It was hard to tell.
His fingertips ran idly up and down the back of Rae’s neck while he hummed in quiet appreciation. His fingers wandered up to card through Rae's hair, curling and twisting gently. “Can I stay tonight? I… I want to sleep next to you.” And god, he didn't know why that made him feel so tentative and vulnerable but it did.
Oh there were many ways to spend their evening and each one was just as perfect as the next. Sex definitely wasn’t off the table at any point but he could definitely use some simple snuggling right now. “Touch is so complicated, isn’t it? There’s casual touching between friends, acquaintances... Somehow it becomes amplified when it’s someone you care about touching you. Almost like you trust just with your fingertips.” He lifted his hand to Oliver’s cheek, brushing hair out of his face with a faint smile.
Rae shifted his body so they were nose to nose, looking in each other’s eyes, “Of course you can stay. I certainly wasn’t planning on kicking you out any time.” The angel closed the distance between them for a needy kiss, as if he were trying to make up for the days apart - even though there hadn’t been that many of them. He felt starved for affection and the way Oliver practically worshiped him. He hadn’t felt so cared for in a very long time.
Oliver smiled broadly, one of those irrepressible smiles that stretched too wide and showed too many teeth, and he tried to turn it down a few notches, obviously struggling with the effort. Somehow that permission meant the world to him.
The kiss, when it came, said something to him. Meant something. He simply leaned up into their kiss and pulled Rae’s lower lip into his mouth, sucking and nipping at it. Oliver’s fingers curled to support his head and pull him closer, thumb still moving through his hair. He pulled away just enough to break the kiss and study Rae for a long silent minute.
He bit his lip before kissing that mole on Rae’s cheek (the one he might, possibly, be mildly obsessed with). And he wanted to say something about how beautiful the other man was, but instead bit his own lip and rolled them both onto their sides. His heart felt overfull in a way he didn’t understand. But that was fine. Maybe even good. He tucked Rae’s head under his chin and let his eyes slip closed, sighing softly. “Thank you.”