adam parrish (_themagician) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2017-06-29 19:47:00 |
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Entry tags: | adam parrish, ronan lynch |
WHO: Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish
WHAT: Ronan asks Adam to Pride
WHEN: Backdated to Pride
WHERE: Their place
WARNINGS: N/A
Ronan wasn’t overly interested in Pride when it was first announced. It probably said something about him that he didn’t get invested in it until the town’s inhabitants showed some resistance to it. He wanted to take the crumpled flyers and shove them down the throat of whoever had taken them down. He took out that anger with a hammer and nail, fixing fences and barn doors and, sometimes, just pounding the hammer into rotted wood to get rid of it.
It had cooled to a low simmer by the time he got back to the farmhouse in the early afternoon, ordered a pizza to arrive in time for Adam to get back from work. Once they were all home and around the table, he stuffed his face with pizza, watching Adam and Opal fondly, his temper having cooled enough that he barely noticed it.
And then they were on the couch, watching Opal and Chainsaw play with some of the firewood. It was far too hot for an actual fire, but the wood still provided them with entertainment - or more accurately, dessert.
Ronan stretched out, leaning against Adam, hips between Adam’s legs, his head against Adam’s stomach, absentmindedly playing with one of Adam’s beautiful hands. After a while of companionable silence, he murmured, “What do you think about Pride?”
--
There was a calm normality to their time here that Adam had to confess that he liked much more than any of the adventure of space. It had been exciting, of course -- how could it not be? Adam knew that was the only time in his life where he would leave his home planet. But he liked having Opal here, Chainsaw safe, and the Barns as a staple much more.
When they settled for the night, Adam let Ronan take one of his hands and his other one moved slowly across Ronan’s scalp and dipped down, occasionally to trace the lines of his tattoo.
“Like the emotion?” Adam asked.
…
Pleasant little shivers went through Ronan every time Adam touched his tattoo; still, forever, overly sensitive to Adam’s fingertips and only to Adam’s fingertips. All the darkness and violence in Ronan’s heart loved Adam, and because his darkness could take physical shape in his dreams and become reality, that was very literal and tangible. Ronan was grateful for the reminder; he hoped it would keep him from making the mistake of shutting Adam out again. He was more than a little afraid that Adam would have trouble forgiving him a second time if he did.
But that wasn’t what he was thinking about right now. “The parade,” he clarified. “But yeah, that too.”
The parade was named after the emotion, and it was all about taking pride in who they were, who they loved, being different. There had never been a Pride parade in that Ronan could remember, but then, he had been deeply repressed for most of his life until he had finally admitted to himself that he was intensely in love with and attracted to Adam. It was a strange thing to think about being proud of something that Ronan’s Catholic upbringing still occasionally made him feel - well, guilty wasn’t the right word for it. Some part of Ronan couldn’t help thinking of himself as sinful, both for being the Greywaren and for how much he liked Adam’s dick. But he didn’t feel guilty about it anymore because he’d just stopped giving a shit about what God thought, or anyone who believed in God, for that matter. It felt holy to him, and it made him happy, and - yes, proud.
--
That made more sense, but Adam was still quietly surprised about it. Maybe he shouldn’t have been. He had never asked at great length about when Ronan had known he was guy and when he had accepted he was gay, and how complicated those feelings were in light of his Catholic faith. The religion Adam felt like he could never quite understand, but he was respectful of Ronan’s belief.
Still, he wasn’t sure if he would have expected Ronan to want to attend pride. On the one hand, Ronan seemed to love to shove anything uncomfortable in someone else’s face.
“Do you want to go?” Adam asked.
…
“I asked you first,” Ronan said. It was a childish thing to say, maybe, but he knew what Adam was doing; he was trying to turn this around on Ronan. He suspected that meant Adam felt the same way Ronan did - that they would go if the other went - but he hadn’t asked Adam if he wanted to go. He’d asked him what he thought about it, because he wanted to know Adam’s opinion before he made up his mind about it.
Which was, partially, because he didn’t entirely know Adam’s relationship to his own sexuality. He’d wanted Blue, now he wanted Ronan, but it was more complicated than just who he wanted or what gender they were. Love and pleasure were still, unfortunately, very new to him.
--
Adam wasn’t sure he knew what he thought about pride in terms of himself. Unsurprisingly, Henrietta hadn’t had a celebration and even if it had, Adam would have never gone. He didn’t want to draw that kind of attention to himself at home. And to a certain extent, he supposed, that applied to everywhere.
For him, it was enough to get through the day without being harassed about being with Ronan. Which, he knew well enough, stemmed from the fact that other people did go out there and do things like pride.
“It’s not something I need to do for myself,” Adam answered. “But I definitely understand the appeal.”
Sometimes knowing you weren’t alone was the most powerful thing in the world. Adam understood that.
…
Ronan supposed that was a reasonable answer. He concentrated on playing with Adam’s fingers for a moment. He knew Adam was going to want him to say something, but some part of him had hoped to get more of an understanding for himself from Adam’s answer. He wasn’t even entirely sure he knew the answer to Adam’s question, until he opened his mouth.
“Yeah,” he said. “I kinda want to go, but only if you come with me.” He ran his thumb over Adam’s knuckles, and tried to think how to rephrase that so it didn’t make Adam feel guilted into it, if he didn’t want to. “If you want to, I mean.”
--
Adam couldn’t help but smile faintly at the sweetness of Ronan Lynch asking him to go to Pride.
“Of course I’ll go with you,” Adam answered, squeezing Ronan’s hand gently in return. “What make you decide that you wanted to go?” Adam asked, unable to help himself. He was curious. He knew there was a chance that Ronan would shrug him off, but he suspected that Ronan would be open and honest with him instead.
…
“Fucking assholes tearing the posters down,” Ronan said, honestly. It was, generally, his style - especially with Adam. “Made me want to pull a rainbow out of the sky and shove it in their faces.”
It was funny, because he could do that, almost literally, except it would have to be the sky in his dreams. But it wasn’t what he was actually going to do, and it wasn’t the entire reason he wanted to go, but he wasn’t entirely sure how to express the rest of it. Eventually he added, “And it sounded fun.”
--
That sounded a lot more like the Ronan Lynch he knew. Ever spiteful.
But if Adam was being honest, he didn’t really want to go for spite. There would always be people who didn’t like something about them, and he felt like they would be fighting a lot of the world if they started dealing with the homophobes. He didn’t want it to be about someone else. He wanted it to be about them.
“I’ll go for the fun rainbows,” Adam murmured.
…
Ronan looked up at him, trying to read his expression. It was hard to tell what had made Adam get quiet, but he thought he knew how to cheer him up. “You’d look good in rainbow,” he said, brushing his thumb over Adam’s wrist. “Maybe some glitter, too. I want to show you off.”
He actually suspected that if either of them was going to end up in rainbow and glitter, it was going to be him; he was definitely the more flamboyant of the two, if only because Adam did almost everything quietly. Regardless, “Definitely gonna have the hottest boyfriend there.”
--
Adam made a quiet noise of amusement in the back of his throat. Somehow he felt like they were going to go from two boys who could still pass as just being close friends to the most stereotypically gay couple around. He definitely wouldn’t mind seeing Ronan Lynch covered in glitter, though.
“Only you could turn Pride into a competition, Lynch,” Adam answered, although it was clear that he was amused.
…
“Not a competition,” Ronan said, still looking up at Adam. His voice was amused, but his gaze was soft. “Just like the idea of showing you off. It’s about what I’m proud of, right?”
He definitely wouldn’t be as proud of his sexuality if not for Adam. He had always been told that it was a sin by all the Christians around him, but being with Adam felt impossibly holy and true. Either Ronan had been created by God exactly the way he was, the way he was meant to be - gay, and Greywaren - or everything about him was sinful and evil, and he was going to hell. But either way, he couldn’t change, and making himself unhappy only did him and others more harm. He could only do what felt right.
--
It was so odd because there was no way he could have imagined a situation a year ago where he would have been pleased with the idea of being “shown off,” particularly by an Aglionby student.
But Ronan had always had that effect on him; he made him forget all the bits of himself that had had to grow up too fast and thrummed on survival and logic. Ronan was all the parts of the world that told him he had to try even if he failed, and he had to love even if it meant getting hurt later on.
“As long as I get to show you off too,” Adam answered with a grin.
…
Ronan grinned up at him. “Of course you do.”
He was not the type to half-ass anything - well, not anything that mattered, anyway. He had half-assed school because he didn’t give a shit about it but Gansey gave enough for the both of them. But this was Adam, and his whole heart was in it.
His grin turned wicked, knowing he was heading into dangerous territory and doing it anywhere. “How about - you choose my outfit, I’ll choose yours.”
--
Adam raised an eyebrow.
“Why do I think that whatever I come up with won’t even begin to touch what you come up with?” Adam asked, nonplussed. Ronan was a dreamer with an unlimited imagination and sex drive. Adam was fairly certain that he would be a fool for agreeing to that bargain.
…
“I feel like you don’t trust me, Parrish,” Ronan said, faux wounded. Truthfully, he didn’t have any big ideas. Probably something rainbow, or - whatever the colors were for someone that was into girls and boys. And a pair of tight jeans, and one of Ronan’s leather jackets. Maybe a cowboy hat.
But Adam was probably expecting something absurd, like a banana hammock or assless chaps. Which probably meant that Ronan would be the one ending up in an incredibly flamboyant and showy outfit of some kind, because Adam would try to outdo him.
He was alright with that.
--
Adam met Ronan’s comment with a wry grin: After all, he was fairly certain that they both knew well enough that Adam trusted Ronan with everything that mattered -- and always had to a certain point. There was a reason why he had done stupid things with Ronan and had let Ronan drive him home to the trailer.
“I don’t know why you would think that, Lynch,” Adam answered.
…
Ronan’s mouth twitched when he saw that grin. He knew full well that Adam trusted him - he was still more than a little overwhelmed by how much Adam trusted him.
“So we have a deal, then,” he said, in a voice that was intended to be smooth, almost a purr, but instead it just sounded a little rough.
--
“I don’t know if I agreed to anything,” Adam said, his voice becoming a little quieter, but no less amused, because he could hear the effect this was having on Ronan. He ran a hand gently over Ronan’s head.
“Maybe I’ll just wear my Coca-Cola T-shirt and be done with it,” Adam said, pretending to sound thoughtful.
…
“Just the shirt?” Ronan said, deliberately misinterpreting him and pretending to be scandalized by it. “Not even any pants? Put on some assless chaps, at least.”
He turned his head and nosed against Adam’s stomach. “Not that you haven’t got plenty to be proud of, Parrish, but don’t you want to leave anything to the imagination?”
--
“Fuck off, Lynch,” Adam said with a laugh, deliberately not taking the high road and returning a witty insult. He playfully shoved Ronan’s face away from his stomach, although he was also careful not to hurt Ronan in any way.
(If he was being honest, Ronan’s ability to make him laugh was also one of the many things he liked about Ronan Lynch. That certainly hadn’t always been the case. Ronan’s sarcastic and near-morbid comments had bothered him for awhile, but once they had actually become friends, he had come to appreciate Ronan’s humor, which was far more intelligent than what most people gave him credit for.)
…
Ronan laughed too, and let himself be pushed away from Adam’s stomach. But he sat up instead and leaned in close, until their noses were almost touching. “Trust me,” he said, putting one hand on the couch on either side of Adam’s hips, “I’m gonna pick the perfect thing for you to wear.”
--
“An appropriate amount of clothing, okay, Ronan?” Adam murmured, trusting that now it was said Ronan would make sure to keep him comfortable too.
He looped his arms around Ronan when he sat up, interlacing his fingers at the back of Ronan’s neck.
…
“Of course,” Ronan answered, his voice getting rougher as Adam’s arms went around him. He was vaguely aware of Opal and Chainsaw still being in the room, which meant he couldn’t just start undressing Adam immediately, tempting as it was. But he was very interested in seeing where this went, even if it meant going into another room. “I’d get jealous if people could see too much of you.”