Albus Potter (liesbecomeus) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2017-06-27 21:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, albus severus potter, credence barebone |
June 9
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It hadn't taken long for Albus to get to Emmeline's front door. Once he'd received the texts from the woman, he'd promptly reached out to Annie Odair, asking if she'd mind watching Helena for the afternoon. Thankfully, she'd agreed and he'd dropped his daughter off at her home less than fifteen minutes later. Having briefly explained that there was an emergency he needed to attend to, and that he hoped to be back to retrieve Helena before nightfall, he made a promise to keep the woman updated. He didn't suspect he was going to need to ask for Helena to stay longer, but he supposed if he did, he'd reach out to Clara. Clara wouldn't have minded a sleepover if it came down to it. He prayed it wasn't going to come down to it. Since, if it did, that meant things were even more pressing with Credence then he was being led to believe. Emmeline had assured Albus that it was under control, but he'd often said similar words to those he cared about so that they'd not worry themselves into a panic. So, he was being skeptical. And also worrying himself into a panic; which was clearly the least helpful thing he could be doing at that moment. Upon arriving at Emmeline's he quickly greeted the woman but cast his eyes past her to further inside. Once he stepped through the threshold, and the door shut behind him, he moved forward toward the room indicated. "Credence?" There was a wave of shame at the sound of Albus' voice. Credence felt like he'd let him down. Everything that had happened recently wasn't anything that he was proud of, but he also didn't know how he could have stopped any of it exactly. He'd thought he'd had it under control, sort of, until it had just been too much. Credence swallowed and looked up to try to meet Albus's gaze. It happened for just an instant, his eyes darting back down to the floor and his shoes. Emmeline's floor seemed really clean to him. Which was a ridiculous thing to think in the moment. He pulled a breath in and darted his gaze back up to Albus. "Hey," he said softly. A voice screamed in his head that the response was disrespectful, so he straightened up slightly, while his head still bowed down. "Yes sir?" His eyes moved in the direction of the voice and landed upon Credence. An immediate frown set in. When Credence had first arrived, his Uncle had asked Albus if he'd mind being Credence legal guardian, so that they could ensure a witch or wizard of their world was close by. He knew his Uncle had asked him not only because of his magical abilities, and thus ability to step in if Credence's emotions got out of control, but also because Albus already had a home crafted. He wasn't a lone bachelor like Charlie. He had a child and was already conducting a family unit that would be easily adapted to incorporate another; and be helpful for Credence. And, though the intention was always to give Credence a safe place, Albus had grown to care about him more than he'd expected. If Credence were to disappear, it wouldn't be a momentary sadness for Albus. It would have lasting repercussions for both himself and Helena; especially the latter. His daughter was more attached to Credence than anyone else. So to see the boy glance up at him and then immediately glance back to the floor, as if Albus was going to reach out and harm him, made Albus' heart sink heavy in his chest. The two phrases, spoken with only the briefest pause between, made the feeling increase in addition to making Albus feel ill. He'd never wanted Credence to fear him. He wasn't certain if that was what was going on, or if it was shame, but regardless it was enough to propel Albus forward. He crossed over to Credence and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into the embrace. And as he held him, he said very calmly, "I'm glad you are safe." Credence flinched slightly, before the tension bled out just a little bit and he allowed himself to be touched by Albus. He liked Albus, but he hated that he'd probably disappointed him. There was no way that Emmeline hadn't said what had happened, and yes, while Albus knew what Credence was, Credence hadn't struggled with that being released since he'd arrived here - not until recently. "I…" his mouth felt so dry and he didn't really know what words to pull out to try to say anything so he fell silent again for a moment, trying to gather enough reason to come up with words that wouldn't make him look as terrible to Albus as he felt that he probably looked. But there weren't any accusatory words directed his way at the moment, and so he pulled in a breath, and somewhat shaky he tried again. "I think. I'm … thanks to Nico. And Emmeline. I'm sorry." He held the embrace for a few more moment and only pulled back once Credence began to speak. He, however, did not pull completely away. He had released him but was still in close proximity, ready to wrap an arm around Credence once again if it felt necessary. He tilted his head and waited for Credence to find his words. Nodding his head gently once the boy spoke, he glanced over his shoulder in the direction he'd known Emmeline had been moments before, before returning his gaze to Credence. "I'll be certain to thank Nico, as well as Emmeline." He gave a momentary pause before he spoke again. "You don't need to apologize." Credence didn't know what to say to that. It would have been more comfortable if Albus had actually yelled at him for not keeping things together. Credence knew what to do with that, even if he were being honest with himself he knew that it was the last thing he needed in the moment, but it was still more comfortable than kindness. And it felt more like something he would deserve. Credence didn't think he deserved this at all. For an instant longer he stayed silent, and then words tumbled out, quiet and in a rush, so that it might be difficult for anyone to make out every single one, but he couldn't seem to slow them down. "You trusted me and I completely messed everything up. I didn't mean to but I couldn't hold it in any longer and I didn't know what to do to stop it. I couldn't hold onto the pieces. I lost control and someone could have been hurt. I was afraid Nico was hurt, but I think he was okay. But that's my fault." Albus didn't interrupt Credence though he wasn't able to keep his face completely expressionless. He was able to do so when faced against students and listening to their words, but Credence wasn't a student. Credence wasn't someone random. Credence was as good as a member of the family now. Albus certainly spoke to and spent more time with Credence than some of his actual family members. So, as he listened, his frown grew but not out of anger. He just felt a large sense of concern. "I still trust you," he was quick to inform Credence once he'd paused. "I think what is more important is that you were trying to be in control. You wanted to be. That's more important than the fact you couldn't hold on anymore." He paused once again as he shifted to cross his arms over his chest. "It's true that someone could have been hurt," he thought now to the previous fires. Someone had been hurt there. He frowned more but opted not to mention that now. "There's no shame in asking for help when things become too hard to bare. We could have helped." "And we'll help now." "How?" The word came out before Credence could question whether or not he should ask the question. Everything felt confused still and while he was calmer now than he'd been when he'd been brought here, he still could feel an edge of anxiety sliding in underneath everything and making it difficult to stand steady. He still couldn't help but feel if it would have been better if he'd just disappeared with the ship. Let everyone else come back but he wouldn't have had to be here putting everyone in danger. Because he was! The feeling of anxiety slipped further, and he wrapped his hands together so that his knuckles turned white. "I can't remember things," he barely whispered. "Things that happened while we were gone. I'm just a freak." A dangerous freak even. "I'm not certain how we'll do it, but we'll try. And we'll figure out a contingency plan of some sort for if everything becomes too overwhelming again. Even if it's just one of us apparating you away from the city so you can release the build up," he suggested, his head tilted to the side as he kept his gaze on Credence. His frown set tighter and he sucked in his lips for a brief moment. "Credence, that doesn't make you a freak." He paused before slowly reaching out to rest his hand on Credence's shoulder. "I think a good portion of us have that same issue. I know I do," he reassured him. "I had students coming up to me to talk about plenty of moments from the previous months that I didn't remember being a part of." "I doubt you just had someone randomly start to mock you all of a sudden though," Credence blurted the words out before he really could stop and think about whether or not he should do that. And almost as soon as he said them, he closed his mouth. Maybe he shouldn't say anything at all about that. He really hadn't talked to anyone about it, not Albus, not Nico even. But maybe that was a bad thing. Maybe he should have said something. After all it seemed to be… causing problems. Albus straightened with the words and pulled his hand away. It wasn't that he was hurt by the words or anything like that, though his demeanor had shifted just slightly. No, it was that the context of the words bothered him for what they meant. "Who is mocking you?" He asked, his tone a bit tighter than before. "No one," Credence's own tone was tighter also, and uncertain. It wasn't the sort of thing he would ever tell his mother and while he suspected that Albus was safer, it was still difficult to get past the sense that these weren't things he should talk about. "Just someone at school," he said more quietly, guarded. "Apparently he didn't like being a partner with me when I was gone and I didn't realize that anything had happened. It isn't anything that matters." "You just said differently," Albus reminded him, with his mind racing. He hadn't interfered in Credence's academic life up until this point, only interjecting himself at the beginning when Credence was first getting set up at the school. He'd assumed Credence would come to him if there were issues within the social sector. Of course, looking back on it now, and seeing how quickly Credence was trying to take back the statement made Albus realize he'd be wrong in this thought. He was quiet for a moment as he thought over the next statement. "Is that what made you upset?" From Albus' understanding, his ability to control his obscurus was tied to his emotions. Or at least that was what he'd gotten from Charlie's explanation many months prior. "Did he just start bothering you? Or has this been happening since we got back to Texas?" Credence could feel the weight of panic pushing down once more. He wasn't used to asking questions about his personal life, at least not in this context, and while Albus had always been good to him, there were so many things here. Credence reminded himself to breathe. Albus wasn't going to hurt him - probably - and so far he hadn't failed him even when Credence wasn't certain why he hadn't asked him to move in elsewhere a long time ago. It was one thing for his mother to put up with him, but Albus had no tie one way or another - Breathe. "No. Yes. Maybe. Not just that." He stopped, swallowed and twisted his fingers in his hands. "I had hoped we'd be friends. I'm not certain why I didn't just stay on the ship with the black hole." Alarm rushed through Albus with the final statement. Even so, he did his best to suppress the feeling from being evident on his face. "I'm sorry he didn't want to be friends," he ensured Credence first, before circling back to the other statement, "but I am very glad you didn't stay on the ship." He didn't want to ask why it was Credence felt he should have remained. He thought he had an inkling of a notion as to why. "Helena and I would have been very upset if you weren't here when we got back," he added, sincerity in his tone. "I'm dangerous," Credence whispered. His words barely coming out. In theory, Albus knew. It was one of those things that had startled Credence. Albus knew and yet he'd still let him stay near his daughter. And yet, somehow Credence found himself second-guessing whether or not Albus understood that fact. "I think the gas station was me." This came out in an equal whisper. "I'm dangerous. And I don't want to… I'm just -" didn't understand. These words came out unspoken. He didn't understand any of this. But it was similarly to how he hadn't understood Newt either. He didn't understand Nico's willingness to be his friend, because the other boy was far more popular than he was, with a cute and particularly romantic boyfriend. Nico should have nothing to do with Credence in theory. He didn't really understand Emmeline either, nor did he particularly understand Charlie - although Charlie didn't seem to mind danger at all if he truly worked with dragons at home, so Charlie was, perhaps, the most understandable of any of them. Newt too, from that perspective. But he really didn't understand Albus, because Albus seemed to be willing to keep him around despite this fact, and even seemingly sincerely be willing to say that he would miss him if he weren't. He swallowed, his gaze darting around the room and coming back to land on Albus' toes. "You aren't dangerous. Your powers are," Albus insisted, making the distinction between the two. He felt it was an important distinction that needed to be made. After all, it wasn't as if Credence had done any of it with intent. Intent was the important distinction in Albus' eyes. If Credence had willfully gone out and caused damage, then it would be an entirely different conversation. But Credence hadn't. He had been trying to keep it under control. And all wizards, if untrained, had the potential be dangerous. Emotions were dangerous in relation to magic. Albus could recall the story of his Father accidentally causing harm to Vernon's sister. And Harry had been a third year student when that event occurred. "I think it might have been, too," Albus agreed, sighing. "But I think that happened because you let it become too much to handle." "If you feel like you are losing control, I want you to do everything you can to get a hold of one of us. Me, Charlie, Emmeline. It doesn't matter which. But we'll get you some place safe. And God willing, one day, we'll have a better solution." He trusted that Emmeline and Charlie might be able to come up with something. He wished his knowledge of charms and defensive magic were better in this moment. He felt as if he wasn't much help other than words. "Does that sound like a good plan?" For a moment Credence felt a bit as if he were spiraling but he had spiraled so much already he couldn't really go too far. And Albus's words made sense, even if they were a little inexplicable to him that he was asking for it. After a long silence he nodded. "I could do that," he said softly. Then, "I need to know how to stop it." "We'll make stopping it our top priority," Albus promised him, hoping that Credence truly believed his words. Albus had a few ideas on how they could potentially put a stop to his lack of control. He'd discuss them in further detail in the near future but for now he felt as though it was more important to reassure Credence that they'd figure out some type of solution. He wanted Credence to have faith in the future and to feel safe if at all possible. "Do you want to head home now?" He asked quietly. Credence nodded, hoping that he was under control again. But he felt calmer, mostly. There were these currents and if he allowed himself to think on it too much he could feel the possibility of it building again, but with Albus's words and belief, it felt just a little further away. |