What do you mean by willing to release it? The Jedi thought I cared too much for my past, too. They wanted me to forget about my mother, my entire home planet. I don't know that I agree with you about "collateral damage" and "unavoidable casualties". Do you mean civilians or the enemy? The people who are actively in the fight certainly accept the risk to their life.
Usually, I showed attachment, and that's "not the Jedi way". Or I made a quick decision and he thought it was "reckless". Or lost my lightsaber