InsaneJournal

Nico rested his elbow on the desk and his chin on his hand as he stared out the window. While school wasn’t nearly as bad as his complaints might lead people to believe, he still wasn’t the biggest fan of the place. Too much sitting in one spot for long periods of time, even if the information they learned was interesting. But he’d been on his own for so long, figuring out things for himself in his own way, that having to fit into the rigid structure just made him twitchy.

Especially when his senses were being stretched more than usual. Even with the historical graveyards around and all the Displaced, Tumbleweed was quiet compared to the other worlds. It didn’t have that flavor of mass death that Mount Weather did nor the evil aura of the tropical island. So there really wasn’t much to distract from the dead frogs scattered on trays around the room. And… well… stretching his senses out to interact with each of specimens was more interesting than cutting it open and filling out the assignment sheet. Besides, that’s what lab partners were for, right? Although…

“You’re going to hit bone,” he pointed out, his eyes not leaving the window.

Credence stopped short with the tool levitated just above the frog his gaze darting to the boy beside him. Nico. He'd talked to him before on the network and obviously now here, in school, doing things that he'd never really thought about learning in school before although it occurred to him now that he wasn't certain why it wouldn't have.

He stopped, frowned and reconsidered. The diagram in the text, for all the colors that were utterly unlike most books he was used to, was entirely unhelpful. But how had Nico even known? It wasn't like he was looking at him or the frog, or what had been a frog once upon a time.

He didn't know what he was doing and he rather wished that he'd been paired with someone who did. Maybe the guy just to their left who had rolled up his button up shirt and seemed to be attacking the frog with precision that was largely found nowhere else in the classroom. Credence watched him for a minute wondering if he could learn something from the precise way he was holding the scalpels they'd been given. His fingers seemed capable, hands strong, and Credence brought his gaze up to the other boy's face, a half musing of if he could pull off that hair cut. Would it help him blend better if he tried to?

Nico was waiting for the next cut. Waiting. And waiting…

His eyebrows pinched down when it seemed like he was waiting too long for the next attempt at the dissection to come. He stretched his senses, making sure he was actually paying attention to the right frog and… no… he had the right one… He pulled his attention away from the window and turned his attention to the boy sitting next to him. Ever since they’d talked on the network, he’d tried to hang out with Credence at school. He knew what it was like. New situation. New time. At least he and Bianca had an easier transition due to the memory wipe, but it still sucked whenever they hit gaps in those new memories. Plus… Nico couldn’t really put his finger on it or describe exactly what it was, but he felt some sort of connection with the boy.

He frowned slightly as he leaned forward enough to see what Credence was staring at. And then his eyes narrowed. Ok, was that it? Was that the vibe he was picking up on? Or maybe he was just reading too much into it. He still was horrible at this thing and Billy wasn’t around to really give him advice. It was just… blundering forward and hoping everything didn’t blow up. Which was nerve wracking, but… but Anakin was worth the nerves… Still, he wasn’t sure if that look was just staring off or needing help or… something more… How could he really know when someone was looking at someone else when he couldn’t even tell that Anakin liked him?

And if it was that sort of look… ugh, he hated this. He didn’t know how to talk about all of it. All he knew was… well… how he had felt… Things he’d wish he had known before… well…

Absently nudging at the bones in their frog’s body, he puffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes, trying to go for nonchalant. “His new girlfriend thinks he looks good in blue. Just watch, bet you’ll be able to tell when they break up by when he stops wearing blue every day.”

Credence's attention was pulled away from the student who seemed to actually know what he was doing by Nico's words. Of course someone like that had a girlfriend. He looked like the sort of guy who would have a girlfriend. It was something that Credence had barely even considered. No one was likely to ever want him that way, and he had never really been interested in a girl that way. It didn't make for a particularly likely scenario, especially when everyone seemed to make comments about his hair.

A hand raised halfway to his neck before he realized he probably shouldn't touch anything whilst in the middle of dissecting, and also, Nico had said something to him.

"Does he not like wearing blue?" He wasn't certain that was really the right thing to say, so he fumbled forward. "It looks good on him. I mean, I think it does, he looks… er… uh… sharp. Together." With a sort of casual confidence that Credence could only begin to dream of. The sort of confidence that was born of people seeing you as being valuable, something Credence had almost no experience with himself. Everything he had done was wrong, while he suspected that everything this boy had done was right.

And none of this was getting the dissection done, but Credence didn't restart on the project, instead looking over at Nico. For all his lab partner might not have been overly helpful on the frog project, Credence did like Nico all right. Which was to say that he felt only normally awkward around him as opposed to seriously awkward around him. He was younger than Credence by a few years, but he seemed to know things, so the question bubbled to his lips before he could think better of asking it: "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Nico was so focused on trying to figure out if that fumble was what he thought it was or if it was just normal social awkward that the question caught him off guard. He gave a slight sputter, only made worse by the way he could feel his cheeks heating up. He shook his head, his mop of hair falling over his eyes as he ducked his head. “No. No. No girlfriend,” he mumbled as he twisted the ring on his finger.

He was getting better at it all. All his friends that he’d made helped. Plus having the memory bumps to confirm that things were okay and this world and situation wasn’t just some weird fluke of a situation that he was bound to mess up. Ok, he might still mess it up eventually, but… he was letting himself breathe easier when it came to all of this. And… well… Anakin was great. Really great. Just as himself and also great for just Nico. But talking on the network when he couldn’t see the people and when he had ball of sunshine, beaming with confidence Anakin backing him up were different than talking one on one with someone. Especially when…

Ok, it was a few years difference. A few years could make a lot of difference, but Nico remembered. He’d been young and he fully didn’t understand everything, but he understood the danger far too well. That it wasn’t normal. That he had to be careful or he’d be take away. That his feelings were something to be hidden and be ashamed of. Even though the atmosphere was mostly better now, it was a hard mindset to shake and no matter how calm he tried to look or how much he pretended he didn’t care, his stomach still twisted every time he told someone in anticipation that they’d abandon him because of it.

But honesty was good, right? And he remembered what it’d been like to hear Billy just talk openly about his relationships and to later see Billy and Teddy together. Completely normal and unafraid. He took a deep breath. “No girlfriend, but, uh, I… I got a boyfriend. Anakin.” He snorted. “Who looks good in blue because it really bring out his eyes. But don’t tell him that. He’ll never leave me alone about it if he hears I told you that.”

"Oh." Credence didn't know what answer he'd been expecting, but it hadn't been that. It hadn't been that at all. Nico was obviously a boy, with a boyfriend, and so far as Credence knew that wasn't something that happened. Certainly it wasn't anything that he'd seen before in New York. Granted, he was beginning to feel as if there were a number of things he hadn't seen in New York so perhaps this was just one of them, but also, he'd just never…

Well, not never, exactly.

There had been dreams, more than one, and ones that he'd usually tried to pretend didn't happen and certainly he'd never shared with anyone. That they'd happened at all was humiliating enough, and if Mama had discovered any part of them, she would have likely yelled at him or made him write out what he would need to do to be good multiple times or hand out more literature that he couldn't stand doing. But those had been dreams, nothing real, nothing that was reflected in any reality that he'd seen in New York. And ultimately he'd wondered if it hadn't been just another part of him being a freak. Normal people didn't have dreams like that, just him. Normal people also didn't have any sort of magical ability either. Except that arriving here he was being forced to completely re-examine his belief system because there were very normal people with magical ability.

And, his eyes flickered to Nico, who seemed, well, normal, like he knew what he was doing, and it wasn't a big deal, and who Credence realized had just shared something about himself, to which Credence had rudely mono-syllabled. "I mean, that's…" he fought for the right word to use and found himself uncertain, so he changed tactics, his words just above a mumble. "I didn't know, um, I mean, I didn't know that people did um…" his cheeks felt hot and he looked back at the blasted frog in front of him. "Nice. It's nice."

Nico shifted awkwardly in his seat. Sure the jumbled words and silences frayed his nerves a bit, but… well, all things considered, it wasn’t that bad a reaction. Surprise, yeah. But not… condemning. There was effort to be polite and, well, it did seem like it wasn’t an aversion fumble and awkward, but very much more of a… well… full out surprise… Which considering the little he knew about Credence, seemed to be about right. It sounded like he lived a very sheltered life. If bicycles were ‘too dangerous’, he doubted ‘alternative’ lifestyles were really a topic of conversation. He took another steadying breath before giving Credence a reassuring look. Or what he hoped was a reassuring look.


“It’s ok. Hey, it’s ok. I know…” he started softly before pressing his lips together a moment. “I know that it… guys together and girls together… it’s not really accepted depending where you live and the time you’re in… ‘cause people think it’s wrong for whatever reason at the time.” He shrugged as his head ducked down again. “When I was born, they were trying to just make everyone forget it was an option. If people thought you were like that, they might punish you or ship you off somewhere else.”

Credence picked up the scalpel again, contemplating the frog in front of him, or at least pretending that it was what he was doing. Even as his mind was racing as he listened to Nico's words. He really hadn't ever heard of such a thing. He knew he'd been cloistered, and that his mother had been strict, but he couldn't believe it much happened in the larger culture either, at least not that people talked about because he wasn't completely unaware of things, was he? But despite this he suspected he knew what Mama would say about such a thing. There was a reason, after all, that he had never mentioned any of his dreams to her. He'd felt ashamed of having them in the first place. Those sorts of needs were supposed to be for married people, and not for anyone else. Period. And men didn't marry other men. So obviously his dreams were not to be dwelt on.

Thankfully, considering Nico had been nice to him and good to work with, he didn't seem to be offended by Credence's complete bewilderment at this announcement. If anything, it seemed he might understand a bit why Credence might not know anything about it.

He set the point of the scalpel down at the base of the frog's back leg, uncertain if he should proceed or ask another question. And if he asked too many questions, would Nico think that was what Credence wanted? In the back of his mind he'd always assumed that he wouldn't get married, but if he did get married it would be to a girl his mother determined was good for him - more than likely - and that he would do whatever he needed to do to be a good husband. Or he would try. He knew that some people talked about marriage and the things it brought, as if it was something they wanted, but Credence hadn't ever really cared about it.

"I feel like everything is so different here and I don't understand most of it," he punctured the skin on the frog and then frowned as he realized he was on the wrong leg from what was illustrated in the text. "When were you born?" He looked over to Nico. "Was it different then too?"

Nico nodded, the tension easing a little bit out of his shoulders. Questions were good. They could be awkward, but they were usually good. Even when people thought you asked too many… He held out a hand, wiggling his fingers for the scalpel. In case the other boy wanted to focus on processing the information without a sharp object in his hand. Although it could be a good distraction, so the offer just hovered out there.

“1932. In Italy. It was very different.” He shrugged. “I only really got the memories back recently.” He frowned. “Kinda recently back home, but… it’s been awhile here. But it was different. Not as accepting as now can be. Just more… strict… More fear…”

Credence knew he had no clue what he was doing with the scalpel so he handed it over to Nico, his eyes seemingly on the frog, but his thoughts were running with what Nico had said. 1932 wasn't so far removed from 1926, really. Which meant Nico might have a better idea than anyone about what things had been like for Credence where he was from. Certainly strictness sounded familiar enough, and fear, well, that sounded familiar too.

With the scalpel not in his hands though he wasn't certain what to do, so he leaned forward onto the table and put his elbows on the table. "It was 1926 when I left, I was born, well, I don't know for certain, 1898 or something perhaps. We never talked about…" Credence chewed on his lip. "Mama said touching was for married people." Really she hadn't said much else. "And not to think lustful thoughts about girls." Which, to be fair, he didn't think he ever had. A fact that had been oddly a source of shame as much as a source of pride.

Nico had the full intention of going forward with the dissection. The scalpel was poised over the frog. He knew basically where to cut. But his hand stilled where it hovered. Ok, he had a feeling about Credence’s upbringing, but… Well, strict and sheltered was one thing. This was straying into the realm of full out repressed. And, well, considering the conversation topic… Not really a good middle of the classroom thing even with hushed voices.

He glanced first at the clock, then around the room, and finally coming to rest on the frog. It’d still be awhile before class let out and, well, time between classes weren’t really that long. But if something were to happen in class that they couldn’t stay in the room… He raised an eyebrow, a wicked glint in his eyes. “You wanna get out of here and talk someplace else?”

Credence blinked at Nico, but his face looked warm and the smile inviting enough. It just didn't make sense to him the question. His experience had been that you couldn't just walk out of classes. He'd tried it the first day to use the toilet and been scolded so soundly that he'd quickly learned to not do that.

But what Nico was offering held a pull. Credence didn't know much about any of this, but Nico was offering answers to questions he hadn't even realized he had because he hadn't realized that you could have them. But he did have them, because just the realization that he'd landed in a place where you could have a boyfriend, it was something Credence had never considered and part of him was screaming that Mama would consider it a terrible sin if she showed up, but the number of things Credence was currently doing that Mama might consider a terrible sin, well, it was a list. And his mother wasn't here. And even if she was, he wasn't certain he would give up his room at the Potter's unless Albus just really wanted him to leave.

Besides which, something in Nico's face pulled him in. Credence believed it was possible that he could ask any question and Nico wouldn't laugh he'd just try to explain. It might turn out to be a false belief but it was somewhat irresistible as a hope.

"Yeah," he nodded. "But they don't like you to leave in the middle of things," he reminded Nico softly, with a touch of regret in his voice. The sort of conversation he was being offered, it might not be a chance he got again for a while.

Nico shrugged as he put the scalpel down on the table, a good distance from the tray with the frog on it. Credence had a point. One that other people might actually care about. But for nearly six years, Nico had been used to doing things on his own. Sure, there were guidelines to follow and, sure, you might get in trouble, but sometimes you just needed to go with your gut and act. Especially when… well, they were talking now. The topic was out there. Credence was focused on it and willing to talk. That was key. Nico knew how hard it could be to circle back to a conversation, especially if you were given too much time to think about it and warp the topic in your mind.

“They don’t. At least not when there isn’t ‘good reason’...” His grin grew as he stretched his senses out again. “Just sit back.” He waited for the suggestion to be followed before he nudged the frogs. It was more flesh and chemicals than he was usually used to dealing with, but, well, dead was dead. He’d practiced plenty with whatever skeletons he could find in the forest when he was on his own. Frogs weren’t that different from rats. His grin turned smug as the frogs flipped over and started crawling around the tables. Then hopping.

Cue the shrieks.

And wait for it…. cue the teacher damage control…

He nodded his head towards the door. “C’mon. Let's go.”

For a moment Credence just stared. Was Nico magic too? He'd never seen anything like this before, and mostly things like that tended to happen around people who were magic.

But then the chaos, and Credence realized that regardless of how it had just happened, Nico had given them an out. He glanced towards the instructor, but they weren't being watched, the frogs were what was being watched, and he couldn't help a tiny grin because there was something a bit delightful about the fact that he was going to get to sneak out of class with someone who had done something for him, to talk with him. He slid off the stool, reaching for the overly large textbook and his backpack as he followed Nico towards the door.

He wasn't certain how much he had learned about frog anatomy, but that didn't mean he hadn't learned anything at all in class.