WHO: Eliot and Ren Ben Waugh-Solo WHEN: Today WHERE: The Physical Cottage WHAT: Some discussion on the subject of names and identities WARNINGS: It's fluff. It is the fluffiest fluff. I am not sorry. Fade to Black at the end.
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Eliot had reached down, taking Ren's hand, without a word being spoken as he did so. He tugged lightly in a motion to have the other man follow him towards the stairs, leading him away from the rest of the house, straight into their bedroom even though it was the middle of the day. Once inside the room, he cast a look back to his husband, but didn't let go of his hand, before crawling up onto the bed. A silent request to join him on top of the mattress. Now, Eliot was curled against him, holding Ren's arms against his frame with his fingers threaded through with Ren's.
He'd been quiet virtually since they'd come up to the room. He could have fallen asleep in this position with how much time had passed. Eventually, he whispered, "Baby."
Ren didn't really know what Eliot had wanted, but he also hadn't really asked questions about it. If he had time, spending that time with El pressed up against him, was basically the best way he could spend it - in Ren's opinion, and so he'd acquiesced, letting Eliot settle in against him and following his lead in not speaking. Ren didn't really have anything much to say, anyway. His empty hand - the one that wasn't threaded with Eliot's, had found Eliot's hair, and rubbed his scalp some - although Ren might have drifted off, but Eliot's word pulled him back.
"Hmm?"
There had been a thought in Eliot's mind for a while, but it had been held back, with so many other topics or focuses needing to be at the forefront. "How do you feel about Eliot Waugh-Solo?"
For a heart-beat, Ren's hand paused, almost as if he hadn't quite heard what Eliot had said, but he had, of course. He shifted, breathing in a deep breath of contentment, and turned so that he could look at his husband. "Yeah," he nodded his mind half jumping to his own last name, to names because there had been more than one on his mind recently. And not just that of their son or daughter, but his own. For the moment he only smiled: "It sounds good."
Eliot shifted as well, turning over to lay out on his back so he could look upwards at Ren. He released his husband's hand, outstretching it to rest against Ren's cheek as he looked at him. He gave the lightest smile in response to the affirmation of how it sounded. It hadn't been something he'd given much thought when they had their wedding but as time lingered on, the more Eliot realized he wanted it to be clear that his life was undeniably joined with the man. "I was hoping you'd say that," he whispered gently, as he stroked his thumb back and forth against his cheek.
It sounded… perfect, really. And as Ren looked at Eliot it settled in, what he was suggesting. And he breathed in a perfectly content breath. Maybe it hadn't mattered to him when they'd gotten married, and it didn't, but he liked the sound of this anyway and he liked the suggestion. "What else am I going to say when you want part of my name?" He quipped lightly.
And then the sort of follow-up. For a moment he didn't add it in. For a moment he turned it over. The names he'd chosen over the years - they'd been specific choices. And in some ways he wasn't certain if he wanted to return to a name that he hadn't chosen - on the other hand returning to it was its own choice. "What… do you think of Ben Waugh-Solo?"
"You could have given an argument for Solo-Waugh," he returned with a grin. And had that argument come up, Eliot supposed it would have been worth a discussion. But he felt that it flowed better in the order he'd presented.
Of course, Eliot hadn't been necessarily seeking an identical follow up. It was his own identity he was wanting to make clear to the world. But he stilled when Ren spoke and it was not because of the order of the surname they were taking on for one another.
It was for Ben.
There was a simple nod. "Ben," he repeated, testing it out for what felt like the first time. "I think it suits," he offered.
Ren nodded, quiet and thoughtful for a moment as he turned over words and reasoning. "I've been thinking about it since everything. In some ways it still feels strange... ? But it also feels like a very public statement, that might make life easier for you and for Fen, and for our child… And… I have a hard time thinking of myself as Ben, but maybe that will come. Truthfully," he raised his gaze back to Eliot, the worry that there might be any misunderstanding lasting only a heartbeat, because Eliot usually understood. "I am Ben. And I am Kylo. And I am Ren. And I am Ky," his fingers found Eliot's and his thumb ran over Eliot's hand. "These are all parts of me, but maybe to everyone else, mostly Ben. It's not… wrong in the sense of who I'm trying to be?"
"I don't want you taking it on to make things easier for Fen or I." He'd known the weight of identity had on his husband for years now and he was more than willing to adjust to whatever his husband chose for himself. Of course, he didn't want to discredit the fact that it might be easier for their children if he was more publicly defined as 'Ben.' Or it might not. Many in the community had made up their minds about the man above him long ago. "But it sounds like that isn't the main reason. And you know I'll support however you want to identify yourself," he promised, nodding his head in understanding. "Always Ky."
"But for everyone else? We can stress Ben."
"It's not just that," Ren moved to press his forehead against Eliot's as he had so many times in the past. It was a piece of it, yes. But it wasn't all. "I have these two memories running alongside each other. Choosing Ren, and Solo again - which was important. Choosing Solo mattered. And then this other memory of believing Kylo Ren dead, and that only leaves Ben. I think it's maybe more complicated than that memory. But maybe that doesn't need to be for people who aren't close to me -- that's for me to figure out and sort through."
He wrapped up. "We belong to each other, and we always have. And you have seen all these pieces of me and know me better than anyone else and believe in me. With you and Fen I can be complicated. With everyone else, it's Ben, and Waugh-Solo," he smiled as he said it. "Cause I belong to you."
Eliot closed his eyes but gave a nod of understanding against Ren's forehead. As long as it wasn't solely that, Eliot had no complaints of the matter. And he understood the notion of dual memories running in conjunction with one another. Most who had been in Tumbleweed as long as they had would. "As complicated as you'd like," Eliot agreed. And he had a suspicion that Fen would be just as supportive on the subject.
"We'll have to see if the girls want to follow suit with us." That would be up to them both and either way they made their decision, he intended to support them and felt Ren would too. But his smile grew wide at the last statement, and his hand slipped away from Ren's cheek so he could his wrap his arms around Ren's neck. "Mine," he proclaimed, opening his eyes to smirk up at him.
Ren smirked at this, and he opened his eyes to look at Eliot. "Yes. Yours," he agreed, and it was absolutely an encouragement.
There was a hum of approval from Eliot before he pushed himself up off the mattress enough to catch Ren's lips in a kiss. And while Ren's declaration that he was Eliot's, the same could as easily have been said of Eliot being Ren's, and he now had every intention of showing his husband just how much he belonged to him as well.