WHO: Anakin Solo & Nico Di Angelo WHEN: January 29th after the disappearances. WHERE: Solo Corusucant Apartments/Ranch House. . SUMMARY: Han left, and Anakin has a case of the sads. Cuddles are required. WARNINGS: Talk of disappearances, and Solo family things, but nothing too serious really.
Anakin had ended up on the sofa in front of the larger fireplace and portrait of the Solo family that had been there for as long as they'd had the house. He stared up at it, realizing that he looked so much older than how he'd looked in that photo, and probably everyone else would too, if they came at the same age that they'd be when he was 19. Which was kind of strange to think about, really - how if Jaina and Jacen showed up at 22, that he would have been dead in their world for years.
That was morbid, wasn't it?
It had been nice the moment that his father had shown up - the one that knew him and remembered him, and he'd been able to talk to him, but that didn't mean that it wasn't good to have his Dad here regardless.
He reached for a blanket, even though the house wasn't cold - it was Tumbleweed after all - and he pulled it over him.
"You should bring me a soda or something," Anakin mumbled as he sensed Nico coming into the room.
Others might have thought that someone under a blanket tent just making a demand like that without seeing (or likely hearing considering how often Nico startled people) was creepy, but Nico actually liked it. Not the whole demanding thing, but just that whole sensing thing. Just another thing they had in common, even if it was different power sets with different sensitivities. He hung his coat up and toed off his boots before heading to the kitchen to grab a soda. Other situations, he might’ve pushed back. Teased. But considering the situation, he felt best to just play along.
Coming back into the living room, one knee knelt on the sofa as he picked the edge of the blanket up to nudge his head under, adding another tentpole to the draping. “I might be able to think of a good ‘or something’, but just in case…” He lifted his hand with the soda under the blanket before offering a small, sympathetic smile. “Hey…”
Anakin offered his boyfriend a weak smile, and he reached for the soda, patting the sofa beside him and waiting for Nico to come in. He'd done this enough times that some part of him thought that he should just be over it. After all, he'd lost multiple versions of his parents over the years that he'd been at Mount Weather or the Island or here, but it still always seemed different. Everytime it hit a little differently and even if he’d had the opportunity to have needed conversations at points, he still hated not having his parents there.
“I’ll be over it tomorrow, but right now I just want to pout,” he leaned his head on Nico’s shoulder.
Nico wiggled under the blanket, settling down next to the other boy, sides pressed together in a familiar comfortable way. More familiar from their times watching movies together, but really, this whole situation happened far too often as well and it just depended on the moods of what sort of coping happened. Sometimes it was sparring. Sometimes a trip. Sometimes just pouting under a blanket. With how things had gone in this world, Anakin had plenty of opportunity to cycle through all the possibilities multiple times. He really wished he had some power over that because while he knew Anakin enjoyed having whatever version of his family around, he also knew how hard it was to have to explain everything each time they showed up. Sure, he had his own small list of friends and family that’d mean hard conversations, but he knew it wasn’t the same as Anakin who had to deal with the trifecta of multiverse differences, the possible surprise kids depending on timeline, and then his own future. It was tiring to go through the emotional rollercoaster of gaining and losing family and all the conversations needed.
“You know, that whole thing ‘bout you not needing to be ok?” he said softly as he leaned his head on top of Anakin’s. “It still applies. However long you need to pout, you can do it here. Ok?”
Anakin reached for Nico's hand and offered a smile as he did it. It was a small smile, but a genuine one, and for some reason it made him think about Mount Weather, and that time his brother had told him about his own future, and when he'd needed to find someone who would get it, Nico had been the person he'd turned to during all of that. He'd never even thought at that moment that it would be years later and it'd still be Nico he was turning to when things weren't quite what he wanted them to be.
"Good, cause I'm not okay right now," Anakin told Nico, and there was a bit of a quip to his tone even though he was also serious. "I wish I could pin people here, you know?"
Nico’s hand met Anakin’s, fingers entwining and squeezing in a firm grip. As if the simple gesture could do exactly what Anakin had said, considering…
“I know,” Nico echoed, his voice soft and understanding. “We just need to find the right tape. Or super glue. There has to be something that’s portal proof, right?” He blew out a deep sigh. “Or maybe even just a schedule…” He frowned as soon as the words were out though. Because at first thought, it could be good. To get to look forward to when someone might be coming and then plan for the amount of time they’d get together. To be prepared mentally for the emotional toll. But that was also thinking of the entire situation as if this were their permanent home and everyone else were visitors which wasn’t the actual situation. Even though they’d been here for years, they weren’t immune to the whims of the portal and he wasn’t sure how he’d feel if one day they got a memo about when their scheduled departure dates are. Ok, no, he did know how he felt about the idea. He didn’t like it. His lips pressed into a line as his brows furrowed. “No, nevermind. I don’t want a schedule.”
Anakin glanced over and squeezed Nico's hand, knowing without really consciously thinking about it exactly where Nico was going for that. It was inevitable that at some point it'd be one of them. Sometimes he thought about it, and sometimes he chose to just ignore it - plan on the idea that he'd be there forever and ever even if he was aware enough that it wasn't how life worked. "Yeah, no schedule. Let's not do that. Super glue though. Maybe we could like, engineer something using the portal…"
For a moment he fell silent wondering if that could even be possible. There were things that he didn't know about the portal, obviously and he didn't really have access to it. He half wondered if he applied at the bureau if they'd let him. Maybe that was something he could consider. If there were a way to make them stick… "I don't know. Glue seems good." He sighed and took a sip of the soda. "I was thinking about doing a Lego party this weekend and now maybe it should be next. This has happened a dozen times, I don't really know why I'm so down about it right now."
“Super engineered super glue,” Nico repeated with a small nod, because, really, it was the better idea of the two despite the sheer ridiculousness of it. “We can go to the craft and tool stores tomorrow to look for research materials.” Not that actual glue would actually work, but then inspiration came in the oddest places. Maybe something about looking at all the tubes and containers would spark a more feasible project. Something to focus on and do, which generally helped the Jedi.
“Maybe because it’s the dozenth time.” He rubbed his thumb absently over the side of Anakin’s hand. “It’s a lot. Maybe it’s just…” He shrugged, although the movement was slight so as not to overly shift their comfortable slouch. “... the right amount of downtime and normal for it all to just come together instead of get tossed into the pile to deal with later. Or maybe that because space is more of a thing to do now, it just makes your people going back feel emptier?”
"I think dozen is probably an overstatement," Anakin said mildly, although he wasn't actually certain when he stopped to think about it. Both his mother and his father had been there at various points, and between the different ones, maybe it was getting close to a dozen.
"Maybe all of those. I know stuff is unpredictable at home during the war, and obviously I went a long time between seeing Mom and Dad there too, but they were there to see, and here when they're not here - they're not here - there's no seeing them elsewhere. And when they come back, it's not like they remember being here before, so it's just starting all over again, you know? I think that's part of what makes it so exhausting."
“It might actually be an understatement,” Nico pointed out. Not as much due to the amount of times people came and went (which granted there were far too many), but more due to the sheer number if they counted two versions of his parents plus then his two siblings, two versions of his uncle, and his aunt. That didn’t even factor in Tahiri who had come and gone a few times. And bringing that up might not actually be helping, but maybe it was just good to acknowledge that Anakin wasn’t actually exaggerating with this.
“You still had the possibility. Even if it’s just a transmission or something, there’s still a connection. And just… being on the same page… There might be catching up on battles and what’s been going on, but you have the same basis for everything...”
Because he did understand that exhaustion. It was emotional whiplash, wasn’t it? Joy that the people you missed were finally around, but then having to deal and maybe push aside your own emotional turmoil in favor of settling them into what the current situation was. Bianca was always the worst case there if she didn’t remember her time before, but even the other campers had their own exhaustive toll. Not knowing when they’d come from. Having to catch them up on this universe let alone what possibly had happened back home that they didn’t know yet. Sure, Will had the obvious tough talks and he really wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of having to do that again if the other boy disappeared and came back without memories, but there’d been more too. Everything that had happened with Leo here, but also the state of things back home with his father and… well… Jason.
“Here, there’s that possibility they remember, but you don’t know until they’re here. And then it’s not even just whether they remember, it’s where they’re from, when they’re from. You’re walking in blind with your family and…” He shook his head against Anakin’s. “... and that’s not how your family is. Which always amazed me, but doesn’t really help with that exhaustion, does it?”
"Yeah, it's more or less that," Anakin sighed, but he was glad Nico understood. Of course Nico generally understood him, that was part of why they were together, wasn't it? "The option of connecting, even subspace or something, it's there at home, and now it's not here. Maybe I ought to just record a transmission every so often with like, the things I'd want to tell them - but that feels so impersonal."
But after you'd gone through it a dozen times, or more, or less, he wasn't certain without counting up, and Nico might be right that he was underestimating, you ended up feeling like you'd said it all before, and maybe better the last time. He put his head down on Nico's shoulder.
"I'm glad you're here." He didn't say 'I'm glad you've stayed', although he was - very definitely. But he didn't want to jinx anything. "And I'm glad Tahiri is. Despite it all I'd still want them to come back I think."
“Maybe a video diary? That you’d be ok with them seeing.” Nico wasn’t sure how different that’d be from just a transmission, but maybe the language made it feel a little less impersonal. “Or… I know it wouldn’t be the same, but maybe even just making a holo to talk to?” He puffed out a berath. “I don’t know if it’d help, but… maybe just something to work on.”
Because really, that was the other hard part of this too, wasn’t it? There was very little they could do other than wait and hope. Which, well, neither demigods nor Jedis were really good at doing.
He turned his head to brush his lips against what he could reach of Anakin’s forehead. Which might’ve been more hair than skin. “I’m glad too. That both of us are here.” He wrinkled his nose in jest. “And Tahiri too I guess. And they’ll be back.” A smirk quirked his lips. “And if you’re too tired when they do, I can always give the welcoming speech and really break that ice.”
"I mean, I could always do that, regardless of whether I ever showed it to them," Anakin played a thumb against Nico's hand for a moment. "Fiver could record something even."
He turned his head so that he could push his lips against Nico's, warm and gentle, and despite the disappointment of losing Han yet again, there was the rush of warmth and certainty that always came from Nico being there. "I want to know what that welcoming speech is going to sound like," Anakin teased gentle, maybe a little leading, as his fingers found Nico's cheek. "Like, what are you going to tell my parents about me, di Angelo?"