Welcome back to the land of the awake! I'm Dr. Chakrabarti. While you were asleep, your housemates took amazing care of you. They also allowed me to help monitor you and set up an IV so that you wouldn't starve while this was going on. I'll be by shortly to remove it safely and the monitors.
I recommend a liquid diet until your stomach doesn't rebel at the thought of a burger. You may also feel weak in the limbs so u recommend any Kill Bill revenge plots wait until you're back at peak health.
And if you have any questions, I'll do my best to answer them.