who: Marceline Abadeer & Baelfire when: August 26 where: Bae's Barn What: Bae and Marcy try to hang out as just friends. It doesn't work and they clear up some miscommunication. warnings: There is some crying and teenage angst status: Complete.
She didn’t bring her axe. It wasn’t like Marcy brought it everywhere with her. It wasn’t a security blanket. The axe was a weapon. Not because of the blade but because of the music she made from her family’s heirloom. It was her rebellion. And as far as distractions went, it was a pretty good one. The closer she got to The Barns the more naked she felt without it. What if she didn’t know what to say? She couldn’t just play songs and misdirect Baelfire that way.
Not that it would have probably worked.
Even when flying her arms crossed defensively over her stomach. Maybe it was stupid to see him so soon, but if she waited until she was over him to see him? He’d probably be thirty or something (or look it). Maybe seeing him sooner would be a good thing. Get her used to being just friends faster. Let the idea sink in all the way to her tums that he probably wasn’t going to ever feel for her the way she let herself feel for him.
So she put on a brave face, and a sharp toothed, roguish smile. “Hey, Baelfire,” she greeted. It was how she spoke to Bonnie and Neal, so…
Bae hadn't ever felt a distaste for his name before. It had been abandoned when he had returned from Neverland because it stuck out in the modern era and because he was hiding from Peter. He had thought that his change of name would make it at least somewhat harder for the man to find him should he try looking. But he hadn't ever disliked his name.
That was until it was coming off of Marceline's lips. He noted it when it was in writing but he hadn't said anything. It wasn't as though she hadn't called him it before. It just felt like now it was all she was calling him by and considering he preferred 'Bae,' he had taken notice.
He was nervous about seeing her. Things had been a mess for weeks now and he hadn't even wanted this change of events. So he had looked uncertain when he opened the door. Hearing her greeting, his expression fell disapprovingly and he didn't realize how it could be interpreted as being unhappy to see her at all. "Marceline," he responded, instead of his preferred 'Marcy.'
Baelfire’s surly expression made it easier for Marcy. She grinned broadly, feeling triumphant that this was going to work just fine. What did it matter if she had feelings for him still if he gave her looks like that?
“S’up?” She bobbed gently in the air, shifting from a sort of standing position to a reclining one.
He held the door knob tight against his palm as he looked against her. A second past before he remembered his manners and just tried to push it out of his head. He was over analyzing. He pulled the barn door open wider.
"Not much," he said, nonchalantly. Nana was laying near the stairs and glanced up. She barked a greeting in Marcy's direction.
“Puppy!” Marceline greeted. It didn’t matter how big or how old the dog was. Nana would always be a puppy to the Vampire Queen. Marcy flew in and landed in front of Nana, kneeling down to give her affection.
“Working on any new stuff?” she asked him. She meant his paintings. He had a job and school started up for him soon, but she didn’t really know how to ask about those things. Marceline played with the smooshy rolls of fur and skin on Nana’s face as she pet her. Schwbl was too old and small be handled like that and mostly just liked to sleep.
Bae watched as Marceline flew inside towards his former nanny. For a second, he hesitated, before shutting the door behind her. He didn't completely follow her and instead flopped flipped down on a bean bag cushion he had near one of the falls but across from the couch. He had collected a lot of seating possibilities for when the other boys would come round.
He didn't know how to answer that just yet. He had done a ton of work since their 'break up' and none of it was pieces he really wanted to show. "A few things."
“Yeah?” Marcy looked up, interested, but her expression faltered the way she saw him sitting in the beanbag chair. He’d always shown her his stuff before. But, she’d been his girlfriend then. Maybe it was too personal to show just his friend. She changed the subject, not brave enough to ask to see what he was working on, despite really wanting to.
“Illyana and Kitty are totally taking me to this world’s hell dimension. I’m kinda curious to see what demons are like here.”
The nice thing about having Nana, was Marcy had an easy distraction when she needed it, deciding to see what Nana’s tolerance was for being used as a giant pillow and she settled in next to the dog.
"Yeah," he repeated, with a glimpse towards his studio, but he made no movement for it. It was nearly all in expressionist style. Others could possibly get different meanings from it but he worried what she might see if she looked into his array of paintings.
He lifted his eyes at that statement. He hadn't liked the idea when she was kicking it around on the network but that didn't mean he was surprised she followed through. Of course she followed through. "Don't know if they are this world or X-Men's world," he commented with a shrug. Did it make much of a difference.
He didn't say anything about using Nana as a pillow. The dog was used to being around people, especially younger children, so she had a high tolerance for interaction and was incredibly patient. "You plan to come back and finish the pool at any point?"
“Why?” Marceline said. “I hate where the portal put my house. I’m awake most of the night but I’m the one who has to be quiet and no one bothers being quiet for me when I’m asleep during the day. I basically have private beaches all to myself on Dino Island and can pretty much do whatever I want, when I want. Emma isn’t a cop anymore so it’s not like I can afford to get in trouble here anyway. Other people don’t know me like she does.”
She shrugged. “The pool was dumb anyway. Ronan’s going to put in a lake though. Or he may have already. I know he was thinking about one.”
'Why?' The 'why' was because Baelfire had quiet, secret hopes that maybe she would eventually decide to come back to her house. He'd grown fond of the Little Pink House and there had been a point where he was spending more time there than he was at his own Barn. And maybe it wasn't necessary to have a pool when Ronan was putting in a lake, but who said they always had to be at the barns? He glanced down to the floor and nodded after a moment. "Yeah, I mean, I guess that makes sense."
Of course, he could think of a lot of easy responses to her issues with the house. He wouldn't want them but there was magic. Sound barriers and all. Even if she didn't want to go the magic route? There was other ways to block out sound. He shifted, nestling further back against the bean bag and crossing his arms.
Marceline watched Bae. His crossed arms and his gaze pointed at the floor. There was a half smile on her lips, but the bravado faltered just slightly. “Dude. Baelfire. Is now a bad time? I could come back later if you want.”
"Okay, why are you calling me that?" He asked, looking up to her now. There wasn't anger in his eyes but there was frustration. "Since when am I 'Baelfire'?"
Marcy looked surprised. Careful of the dog, she sat up, reaching behind to occasionally pet Nana. “Since before we were together? Because that’s your name?” Marceline had always liked the name Baelfire. The reason for his frustration wasn’t registering. “When I called you Bae, I wasn’t just calling you Bae. I was calling you bae.”
Her eyebrows went up to see if he understood her meaning. They technically spoke the same language, but Marcy knew there were a few words that were sometimes used differently. “I like the name Baelfire,” she said with a shrug.
"We weren't that good of friends back then, either," he pointed out. Most of his friends called him 'Bae.' It didn't bother him to be called by his given name but he was far more accustomed to the nickname. It was one of the few things he still permitted that was so heavily linked to his Father. He looked to her with the explanation and frowned some. "Ugh," he vocalized, with a mock disgust that should have just been clearly for display. He hoped she understood it was a joke.
"I am glad you do it just..." He hesitated for a moment before, "...it feels weird."
Marceline sank a little, rubbing the back of her neck. It was hard to see if it was the ugh that had bothered her or something else. She was quiet for a while.
“I thought we were pretty good friends,” Marceline said quietly. She’d told him a lot about herself, they’d hung out. She beaten her way to Neverland to get pixie dust for him so he could have the one nice thing about the place where he’d lived. Hearing that he thought they weren’t that good of friends was a reminder that he hadn’t really thought they were that serious of a relationship, either.
What did that make them now? It didn’t feel like they were talking hardly at all. Bae didn’t even get up to share his paintings with her. Maybe she was an idiot.
"We were. I just mean...we became better friends later." It was why he had been so upset about the Neverland thing when it had happened. She was his friend but she hadn't listened to him. It made him wonder if they actually were even friends when it had happened. Of course, they had worked everything out, and then there'd been the dynamic shift between them. He'd been the one to initiate that. He had kissed her in the dark of Agrabah. But as time had moved on, even with them dating, he'd felt like they'd had a good foundation because they were friends and that it just got stronger.
She'd become his best friend.
His frown grew and he slid further in the bean bag. "When you call me 'Baelfire,' it makes me feel like we aren't close anymore, is all. And I know...it's hard right now but it almost feels like we can't be. Like the door is shut."
Marceline’s face fell. Then it hardened. “Ugh!” Both hands tugged at her hair in frustration. “You make me feel like I do everything wrong! I can’t even call you by the right name!” Angry tears welled in her eyes. Clearly coming over, trying to act casual, had been a bad choice. Marceline just wasn’t sure which part or if all of it had been a bad idea. “What’s so wrong with me? Why wasn’t I your good friend before? How do I keep screwing it up so bad?”
While he'd just slid down, with his back practically on the floor, her actions made his elbows push against the hardwood to lift his body. He was moving to sit up proper as he felt his stomach plummet. Why couldn't he just be honest when he was talking about the question? "I was just asking, Marcy. I didn't mean --- "
He cut himself off and went silent as she continued to talk. "I didn't say there was anything wrong with you. Why do you think I think there is something wrong with you? And I didn't...I meant as good of friends, not that you weren't a good friend at all. You were a good friend from the very beginning." He hesitated for another moment before, more softly, "Please don't cry."
Asking her not to cry only made the tears fall harder. Marcy was a creature of strong, stubborn emotion. “You don’t have to! You just wanted a break from me! I make you feel like a door is shut on even being friends. I try to act casual and use your name like I did before, and you hate it! If I wasn’t wrong, then these things wouldn’t have happened! I wouldn’t have made you feel like a drop in the bucket! I can’t help how old I am! I can’t help that I can’t grow up! I wish I could!”
The waterworks turned to full bawling. If she hadn’t been crying as hard, Marcy would have bolted. This was exactly the kind of thing she’d been trying to avoid.
He was scrambling up off of the floor completely now. It took him a moment but he was to his feet and then he was crossing in her direction. Nana, in the meantime, was standing now, looking at them both with alarm in an attempt to figure out what was happening and how she could help. Baelfire came up in front of her and reached out. "Stop, stop, stop," he was saying, hands reaching out to try to take hers. "Marcy, hold on, okay?" He asked, with genuine concern coming through.
He squeezed her hands in his own but then she was bawling. He didn't hesitate now and dropped her hands, wrapping his arms around her. "That's not what I meant. None of that was what I meant," he said.
Marcy went limp in his arms. All she wanted was to stop crying. If she were being a good friend, she wouldn’t be crying, right? She’d confused herself and it felt like ages before her tears calmed down again. Marcy rubbed at her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.
He didn't unwrap his arms for her as she cried. Instead, he just held her close and let her cry. His own face had scrunched up, with eyes closed, as he swallowed because the sound of her sobs made his heart ache, especially when he knew he was what had brought them on. His head bowed just slightly and he shook his it back and forth. "No, I'm sorry," he began.
"I didn't want a break, I just thought maybe we needed one," he found himself saying, because he'd been holding that back. "I didn't want this."
“What do you want?” she pleaded. “Just tell me what you want so I can do that. I don’t understand why you would even bring up a break if you didn’t want one. You either want to be with someone or you don’t.” It had always been that simple for Marcy. She’d wanted to be Bae’s friend so she was. And she’d wanted to be Bae’s girlfriend, so she’d stayed and gone to terrifying places to be with him. Marcy knew she wasn’t the smartest of her friends, but she couldn’t see herself acting any differently.
"I don't want you to do something just because I say it," he mumbled, but his arms had tightened around her. There was this quiet little voice in his head saying that this might very well be the last time he'd get to see her. He was already afraid of the possibility of her bolting for the door and being gone for good. "I did want to be with you. When did I ever say I didn't?" He asked, his own voice cracking just slightly as he did.
"I don't know how we're supposed to be anything if you're scared of my home and I'm scared of where you want to be yours. And that was just that problem. I don't...I know we can't do anything about our ages but...what are we supposed to do with them? Are we just supposed to try to ignore it? I don't know, Marcy. I was ignoring it but then we got to talking about everything and now I don't know how to ignore it anymore. Or if you'd even want to try to ignore it."
“It doesn’t matter if I’m scared,” Marcy said. “I was still going to go wherever you were. It just hurt when it felt like you didn’t feel the same way.” Marceline sniffled, but, it felt nice being held by Bae. She’d missed it. Even if it was highly likely that she’d never be held like this again. Marcy remained still to discourage him from letting go as long as possible. Her head found a spot on his shoulder.
“I just really wanted to be your friend when I met you. I figured that even that wouldn’t last. Most people get tired of me, B-Bae. I’m used to it. Because everyone else changes and I never do. And then you told me about Neal, and I thought, maybe if he doesn’t hate me too bad, it’d mean you’d stay my friend longer. And then he didn’t hate me at all and I got my hopes up. And then you kissed me. And I know that’s dumb now because you’re pretty different. I think I just let myself just… I don’t know. You made it feel like anything was possible.”
Marcy sighed.
"You're braver than I am," he admitted in response. He wasn't certain if it was necessarily true but it felt true when put to that juxtoposition. He brought one of his hands up, cautiously, to rest against the back of her head once she settled against his shoulder. Meanwhile, his head leaned in the direction of hers until he rested against her. He pulled in a slow breath.
"You are my friend. It's just...we were best friends, even though we were dating, and I just feel like...we're not that anymore. I hate that," he tried to explain. As for anything being possible, well, wasn't it? Tumbleweed was a place of all kinds of potential. It wasn't just magic. There could be answers.
"I miss you."
“I miss you, too,” Marcy said. Her eyes closed and she was content to sit there as long as he was willing to hold her. After a pause she added with a small grin, “But Bae’s kind of a weird nickname.”
"You've used it all these months," he reminded her, with a bit more levity in his tone than the previous conversation had allowed. He could almost visualize her grinning as she spoke that statement though and it made him beam, even if she couldn't see. "Do you have a suggestion for a better one?"
“Yeah, but I’m not going to call my best friend babe or baby either,” Marcy countered. Her eyes rolled just slightly but she was still smiling. “I like Baelfire. B doesn’t sound right. Bael sounds wrong. Fire doesn’t sound like a name.”
He didn't immediately reply. He was so used to 'Bae' as his name, even though he knew it had taken on another meaning in this century, that he didn't think of it as 'babe' or 'baby.' Still, there was this voice in the back of his head that made note of how he liked the idea of 'babe;' but she was right. She couldn't call her best friend that. He gave a shrug of his shoulders. "Baelfire it is then."
“Ha!” Marcy said triumphantly. “What? What was that? I was right? Mhm.” Marcy’s arms folded over Bae’s and gave him a squeeze.
He couldn't help it. His smile erupted from him and he returned the hug with a large squeeze too. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Marcy knew she wasn’t right very often, and she was going to bask in that one for a while. “I’m not braver than you,” she added. It was part of what made her sad, but now she was Friend!Marcy and not Ex!Marcy. “You’re pretty brave,” she said.
"Maybe when it comes to other things but not when it comes to Neverland," he said, pulling back some. It was just enough to be able to look at her and his arms remained rather contently looped around her. "Islands reminded me too much of it. It's...not something I like to be reminded of."
“Nah, I get that,” Marcy said. She looked down and her hair fell forward.