WHO: Rhy & Alucard WHAT: Rhy shows Alucard that he can do magic. WHEN: Early morning on September 29th, after this log (waaay backdated) WHERE: Their bedroom WARNINGS: Implied post-sexytimes nudity; lots of feels
They had not yet fallen asleep, but were close to it; drowsily curled together in a tangle of warm, sated limbs. Rhy was warm and content, and even hopeful. Earlier in the night, he had said the words for the rest of my life, and somewhere deep down he had known that he truly meant it. In any world, in any future, he wanted to be with Alucard. It was a softly glowing sentiment inside him, one that he held close to his heart, until he was alone and ready to plan for it. Because he knew now that he was going to.
There would be no gesture along those lines tonight, however. Alucard deserved more planning, more showmanship, more effort than that. He would think of something perfect. He felt confident that he would find the right gesture.
For now, though, there was… something, something different but not entirely unrelated, that he could do with that confidence. Rhy nuzzled into the soft skin under Alucard’s ear, and murmured, “I want to show you something, love.”
Then he sat up against the headboard and leaned away, to reach for one of the candles beside the bed. He returned to his original position, except slightly farther apart from Alucard so that he could hold the candle carefully between them, cupped between his hands. He was aware that this was a dangerous place to practice fire magic, but he felt absolutely sure of himself in this moment, and knew that it would work. He murmured softly in Arnesian, under his breath, envisioning the warmth in his heart as a soft glow.
The wick flickered, glowed softly as if it was about to go out rather than just beginning, and then grew into a small and perfectly controlled flame. Rhy’s eyes flickered briefly over to Alucard’s, then back to the flame, to make sure he didn’t lose control of it. But it hadn’t changed in the slightest.
--
Blinking away the haziness that hung heavily around him, attempting to drag Alucard to wine and satiated sleep, Alucard slowly sat up as well. His eyes followed Rhy lazily. In the moment he held no expectations for what came next. It could have been anything. In fact, Alucard enjoyed the view of Rhy’s muscles moving. It was a good moment, already.
The candle took his attention slowly. Unlit, it was visible sitting in Rhy’s hands. A moment later than it would have taken Alucard, had he been fully awake, he sat up straighter and held his eyes open wider, so as to watch what Rhy did more closely. His aura moved gently around him, as soft as the night around them. That movement became stronger, more certain, and reached out to the candle in Rhy’s hands. That woke Alucard, not out of fear (he did not even reach for the water on the nightstand) but with excitement.
Alucard met Rhy’s gaze, happiness and love in his look. The magic was not a surprise - it had always been present, always been possible. But it had been secret, something just Rhy’s, something Rhy needed to do alone, for some time. It felt wonderful to see it, to see Rhy doing what Alucard had always known was possible, to be allowed to see it. “Beautiful,” Alucard whispered. Rhy, the magic, the moment. All of it.
--
It was a small thing, much smaller than what magicians even half the strength of Alucard and Kell were capable of. This was also about the extent of his magic’s usefulness, lighting candles. Perhaps at some point he would be able to light a larger fire, in a hearth. Possibly not ever for fighting, because Rhy’s magic did not respond well to adrenaline and urgency. It was too quiet and gentle for that; he had only ever gotten it to respond to the softness of his heart.
But with that, he had gained control in a way that he never had before. He was unafraid of the small flame he’d created; it was not hungry and eager to consume, as his fire magic had always felt before. It was just meant for light, for beauty, for comfort. As long as he was not afraid of it, not hungry for more -- as long as he could be gentle and kind towards his magic -- it was willing to work for him. He didn’t know if he could ever use it in battle without possibly damaging his relationship to his power. But he could possibly find other, quieter uses. It would come in handy if he ever needed a light in the dark, for instance.
He took his eyes off of it for a moment longer, to smile at Alucard. He could still see the glow in his peripheral vision, but he wasn’t worried about it. “Fire has always liked me best,” he said. “But we get along a lot better now.”
He looked at the flame, and murmured to it, making it grow a little brighter; then, with another murmur, it went out. Rhy set the candle aside, then, and settled back down alongside his lover. “I’m no longer almost burning down the room around me.”
--
The Essen Tasch, along with most magic Alucard had been taught, did a poor job showing uses for magic outside of combat. Even mist, something Alucard had used far more often at sea or within a sea port, provided stealth, something which gave strong potential for violence and confrontation, if anyone pushed through it. So it was not surprising that such magic was valued most, was anticipated the most, and was expected of those not becoming priests. But within Arnes, across its vast reaches, magic was used for any number of things. Drying clothes, lighting candles, fireproofing a ship… those were all immensely useful to far more people, when a war wasn’t going on.
Rhy had other tools for war and full capability. This… was something else, something he could see in others, too, were he able to travel within London without guards, without his crown. It was necessarily within the same family of magic as what Alucard studied now too. Beyond combat. “You have charmed it as well,” Alucard smiled. The way Rhy had charmed him, as well. Certainly Rhy could use it as he needed to, but it came from that soft, kind place. And this magic did too.
“Impressive, truly,” Alucard agreed. Bard couldn’t say as much as readily. For all she could do. But that said more about who she was as a person and how she differed from Rhy. They were each themselves with their magic, the one mirroring the other. Alucard slipped one arm around Rhy’s back. “It’s a lot like you.”
--
There was still a voice in Rhy’s mind that said it was not really impressive; that by extension, since it was like him, he was unimpressive, and unimportant too. It was hard to shake that voice completely, especially when he had made himself vulnerable to it by showing his magic to someone else. But he could tell from Alucard’s expression and tone that he really meant it, was truly impressed and pleased to be shown.
“It’s smaller, and quieter,” he said, quietly. “Not flashy, or powerful. But it’s mine.” Silently, he offered an apology to his magic for thinking less of it, even for a moment. He tried to sink back into the calm, warm, confident and content feeling of only moments before. He didn’t quite manage it fully, but he could still feel his magic there, a little hurt but not hiding away from him because of it. Almost more to himself than to Alucard, he added, “And I like it the way it is.”
--
As carefully as Alucard had chosen his words, he could tell they had not been received entirely in the manner he meant them. Perhaps those words did not exist. They had not come to him in his current state. That left Alucard feeling like he was at sea, after a notable time on land. His sea legs were there, nearby, but he still slid around in the first large gale.
“Remind’s me of your mother’s,” Alucard shared. He had not known much about the queen’s magic while she was alive. His time in the palace had been focused elsewhere, and it had usually been occupied by something. Guard duty, this other world, they had offered him more time to explore and track down the magic within the palace, of which there was no shortage. Much of it flashy. Some of it quieter, softer. Like Rhy’s.
He had not yet attempted even to activate her spell connecting the water. Simply, once aware of it, Alucard had made certain not to get rid of any of the water. Elmira was not around to enchant more of it, and Alucard could not yet do it himself. “Her magic is throughout the palace,” Alucard motioned toward the bedside table. “Soft and quiet, easy to overlook. I imagine most people did not even realize it was there,” Alucard continued. He had seen it but hadn’t paid it enough attention to tie back to the queen. “The water’s enchanted, dormant now. But it connects the entire palace. She could listen to any conversation, in any room.” It was something easy for people to overlook. But it had incredible reach and could have powerful consequences.
Alucard also liked the way it connected Rhy with his mother, with his family.
--
Rhy considered that. It went a long way towards easing his momentary slip back into the old vicious cycle of insecurity and self-criticism of his magic. He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about the listening magic, though. Or rather, the unspoken idea that he might have the potential for it. He wasn’t sure that the mental and emotional state of listening -- spying, essentially -- to even innocent conversations would be a state in which he could perform any magic, much less sustain it for any length of time. Water was even trickier for him than fire.
“Hm,” he murmured thoughtfully. “I suppose that’s not a bad thing, to be more like her.” He didn’t finish the sentence with than my father, because mentioning his father aloud was always a dicey thing in any conversation about magic. “I wonder what would have happened if she had been the one to teach me.”
It might, possibly, have gone differently. She might have been able to show him this softer, gentler way of connecting to his magic, though undoubtedly his self-esteem would still be affected by the comparison of his father and Kell.
He didn’t follow that train of thought down its slippery slope, staying with the previous topic instead. “I have… wondered… whether I might be able to manage some kind of craft magic. Something with… earth or stone, or wood…”
--
The gambit, small as it was in the grand scheme of things, seemed to have worked, to some degree. Though Rhy’s magic was still weaker than his mother’s and its connection strongest with a different element, the kind of connection was still similar. The sort of magic he could do shared potential. How Rhy chose to use it was all his own. Alucard had plenty of questions about Elmira’s use of it, questions the books left far from answered. But that was not the purpose of the conversation.
He noticed the dangerous near reference Alucard had been certain never to make again. However obliquely. Even so, the words, the thoughts around them, were tied intimately with the previous king. To Rhy’s father. Even the reference to craft magic was not free of it. Alucard gave one moment to wishing he were fully sober for this conversation, with all his wits. But he’d had those for previous conversations, for all the good it had done.
“You may,” Alucard said simply. His experience with crafting was limited. The statue he had made for Zelda his greatest accomplishment, and that had no magical abilities left in it. It was simply stone in the shape she wanted. “The mirrors, the figure of a goddess… it’s left me curious about crafting as well.” He hoped the reference to himself, given how much magic he had, did not rub Rhy the wrong way. Alucard had never been encouraged down that path, and there had been good reason to learn the more combative kind.
“There is so much to magic…” he spoke with awe. So much more than he had ever done.
--
Rhy only smiled. He was not bothered by the mention of Alucard’s magic, not in this context. But he also did not want to delve too much further into this conversation, lest he get too excited about something that was outside his capabilities, and only end up hobbling himself again. For one thing, the most logical craft for a fire-mage to take up was metalwork, even if he couldn’t work the metal directly with magic, and that had been his father’s specialty. For another, as much as he liked the idea of practicing alongside Alucard, he knew that would do him more harm than good.
“I think,” he said, “For now, I am content with lighting candles. I am grateful to have gotten even that far.” He burrowed in a little deeper to the comfort of Alucard’s arms. “But it is something to consider, later on.”
--
Out on the Going Waters, Alucard had seen what was truly possible to do with craft. He was no closer to that than Rhy was. It was something different and remarkable, something tangible that lived on beyond the one who made it. Alucard could see the magic, but he could not say who had made the Antari rings, nor the liran, nor anything else he had seen aboard those ships. But how he dreamed. Not to reproduce most of it, no. But of what he could do that hadn’t been seen.
Alucard felt equally pleased that Rhy dreamt of something beyond what he currently could do. Whether or not he reached the image in his mind, it would expand his magic, expand what was possible, expand his understanding. His arms settled further around Rhy, so that they could both be comfortable and sleep. “Mmm,” Alucard agreed. It was good to dream.
--
Rhy pressed his hand against his lover’s cheek. He knew Alucard dreamt bigger, for himself and for Rhy. Even if Rhy couldn’t yet think on those terms for himself yet, even if talking about it was too much, knowing that Alucard believed in him felt wonderful.
And it was truthfully less of a question of what his magic could do, than it was about whether Rhy could find the potential in himself. Whether he could continue to move beyond the thoughts and emotions that held him back, until they were no longer a real obstacle. It was incredibly difficult work, and slow going, but he had gained some ground. Exactly how much ground he held varied from moment to moment. A step back here, a step forward there. Showing his magic to someone else had been a step forward onto new territory, and although he’d wavered, he had not moved back again.
He pressed his lips very softly against Alucard’s, and murmured, “When I learn more, I will show you.”