phone call
Quentin slid down in the chair, leg squashed up against his chest even moreso now. "It's not how I meant it. I didn't meant to make you feel like that." Quentin felt the guilt over Alice's father. Even if the Lamprey wasn't his fault and neither was anything else, that didn't change it. He hadn't meant to make her feel that way about his father.
"But if home's going to fuck with us anyway, sometimes it's the only way. Knowing all of this without understanding is fucking with me more than knowing." Because if he knew what was going through his mind during those moments, he might understand more. Yes, it might fuck him up a little more, but he wanted to understand.
"Sometimes it does that. I get that. But what happens at home doesn't make what happens here less." He felt the loss of things that couldn't be, but it was what it was. "But I get it. Not sure I'd have had such a positive outlook on existence if I didn't stop where I did. But I wasn't doing so great before, so who knows."