I think I'm alright, I'm pretty confident I haven't managed to damage anything since arriving here.
First time was from fear. The other times it was from dying and coming back, or getting turned into something else and turning back. I'd lost faith in myself, or assumed I didn't have the ability anymore, so I didn't.
Not so much negative. More like I didn't want to die again, or I didn't want someone I cared about to die again. Anger over people I cared about being threatened and the drive to protect them.