Tony Stark (cutsthewire) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-03-27 19:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, bruce banner / hulk (mcu), tony stark / iron man (mcu) |
Who: Bruce Banner (MCU) and Tony Stark (MCU)
What: Science Bros play catch-up.
Where: A pub in Minas Tirith.
When: The night Tony first arrived, so Feb. 21?
Warnings: Language. Sorry, Cap.
Bruce left the bar and weaved through the pub crowded with locals, both hands carrying a mug of ale - one for Tony, the other, much watered down portion, was for himself. Middle Earth didn’t have a large selection of non-alcoholic drinks besides plain water, and given that an intoxicated Bruce could very well run the risk of an accidental appearance of the Green Guy, Bruce opted for something weak to drink. As always, Bruce preferred to blend in and not be so conspicuous, With a simple, grey tunic, belted at the waist, with a olive green cloak over his shoulders, he certainly looked like he belonged. He reached their table in the corner of the pub where Tony sat. For the first hour or so, their conversation centered around him apologizing to Tony for bailing out on the Avengers after they’d stopped Ultron. Bruce had his reasons and excuses, but he also knew that Tony had trust issues with people that were close abandoning or turning against him. It was a little awkward, and maybe even a little tense, but they were cool now - Bruce hoped. They’d come to an understanding and a forgiveness without actually ever saying the words I’m sorry. That was just the way they were. “Here you go, artisanal beer from the local microbrewery,” Bruce said, using modern buzzwords to describe what was commonplace in Middle Earth. He set Tony’s hand thrown pottery mug down and sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the table. Tony was fiddling with the newly placed wristband as he watched Bruce make his way back to their table. He was still wearing the suit he had arrived in, fresh from the press conference at the Avengers Compound. He had since lost the jacket and tie and undone the first few buttons of his shirt. He was considerably more relaxed than he had been a couple hours earlier when he walked through the gates of Minas Tirith. He had finally accepted that this was, in fact, happening and not some elaborate hallucination or vision. And he had buried the hatchet with Bruce, managing to keep his snide comments to a minimum while Bruce began to relate what he could remember of his time on Sakaar. He was especially interested in the new developments with the Hulk, but knew better than to seem too eager for the green guy to come out and play. Bruce had paused his story to go get them another round. "AKA, Hobbit Piss," Tony retorted when the other man arrived with the ale. Actually, it was not half bad, but he still preferred an expensive single malt. "What was the thing with the pants?" He asked once Bruce had settled into his chair. Bruce had mentioned something on the network, but then refused to go into it further. Mention of the pants made Bruce snicker into his mug. “It’s a bit of a joke, though at the time it wasn’t half as funny,” he began. “The Other Guy ditched those stretchy pants you developed for me, so when I finally became myself again, I didn’t have any clothes. Thor and I were in the Quinjet he flew away in, and luckily you had a change of clothes stashed away there. Remember that Duran Duran t-shirt of yours? Rio? Anyways, I put on your clothes, and let’s just say I don’t know how you can wear your trousers so tight.” "I was wondering what happened to that shirt!" Tony chimed in before laughing heartily at Bruce's opinion of his tailoring preferences. He smiled a broad, cheeky, Tony Stark signature smile. "It's all about presentation, my friend." He took a large swallow of the beer and leaned back in his chair, his eyes doing a quick scan of the pub. He felt like he was on a film set. Turning his attention back to the other man, he gave him a nod to continue with his story. "So you weren't big and green the whole time on Planet Hunger Games, then?" “We’ll get you another one to replace it,” Bruce promised, sipping lightly at his watered down drink. “Just the last few hours before Thor and I escaped. When we boarded the Quinjet, it must’ve triggered something inside me that brought me back.” His forehead wrinkled from the memory of it all. “I’ve got to say, it was crazy. Sakaar was like this planet of the landfills, with open portals dotting the sky, dropping all sorts of stuff from other planets and dimensions. Junk. The mother of them all was a portal called the Devil’s Anus,” he told Tony with a smirk, knowing that would get a reaction. “We used it to go to Asgard, to help Thor fight his sister, who turns out was really awful. Worse than Loki.” Tony waved his hand dismissively. His t-shirt collection could use a good culling. As it was, it had grown considerably in the two years that Bruce had been away. Lots of long nights with no sleep and internet impulse buys in between bouts of tinkering with his armor and a few new prototypes for the Avengers. He laughed when Bruce mentioned the Devil's Anus, chiming in with, "I'd be hard pressed to come up with a better name than that for a celestial shit hole." "I heard about that from the God of Assholes. Speaking of Anuses." Tony had been flippant in dealing with Loki, and so the Asgardian had put him in his place with news of Hela and Ragnarok. But he didn't want to talk about that. "What was it like, Asgard? Full of Scandinavian supermodels living together in resplendent longhouses?" “It was a pretty shitty place,” Bruce agreed, not meaning to make his statement rhyme. “And the ruler was the King of the Shit Heads, the Grandmaster. Capricious, evidently into hentai, he was the one who ran the gladiatorial games. Kept Thor and I, and a bunch of others captive. It was the entertainment of the city, to keep the citizens happy so they wouldn’t revolt. ” He scratched the scruffy side of his face. “I think we ended up triggering a revolution anyway, when we escaped.” Details about that was a bit foggy. “Asgard?” Bruce scrunched his face to remember. “Didn’t see much of it, to be honest. We were busy fighting Hela’s undead army, and I transformed into the Other Guy early on. But there was a rainbow bridge, which was far out. It’s not what you’re thinking, it didn’t look like some long gay pride flag. It was this… stone… material… with these shimmering, iridescent colors shooting through it, that looked almost like it was powered by electricity. And the skyline… was pretty fucking amazing.” His voice trailed away, momentarily, recalling the sights. “Didn’t look anything like ye olde Norway. All the buildings were golden in color.” "So less Hunger Games, more Ancient Rome. In Space." Tony smiled and cocked his head to the side. "Guess that makes you Spartacus?" "Should have guessed it would be more extravagant than that. What with the capes and the hair and the way the Bobbsey Twins put on airs." He still was not comfortable with Loki being on the loose, but with Wanda, Steve, and two too many Buckys, he had other things to worry about. "And now you're here. And here is Middle Earth." He took a long, steady drink from his mug. “Oh hell no. I wasn’t Spartacus,” Bruce said, laughing. “I’d say Thor was more the ‘leader of the slave revolt’. Big and Green didn’t want to leave. He liked it there. He was a superstar, with his face literally carved on the side of the Grandmaster’s tallest building, and the people were holding celebrations in his honor, complete with throwing green powder and masks.” Nobody really had told Bruce that the Hulk thought life was good on Sakaar despite being enslaved - Bruce instinctively knew, because after all, they were the same person, despite his tendency to distance himself from his alter ego. “And you’re here, too,” Bruce said, pointing his finger at Tony. Interesting how Tony didn’t include himself with the gang, but Bruce didn’t comment about that, instead he asked, “Did Wanda welcome you? Because she welcomed me.” The way he spoke about her made it clear that it wasn’t a good experience. “Both the Other Guy and I made it clear we didn’t trust her, and she went into full victim mode, excusing her behavior, but not once did she take responsibility for the role she played, particularly what she’d done to me, nor did she apologize.” Bruce lifted his mug, but before he drank, he added, “Tempers have smoothed over since then, but still… we’re keeping our distance. I think it’s best that way.” After a long drink, Bruce set his mug back down on the table and gave Tony an apprehensive look. “I was also told about this Accords business.” He knew this would be a touchy subject, given the reactions he’d received when told about what happened to the Avengers while he was away. “I’m not interested in who’s right and who’s wrong. I just want to hear your side of the story. And give it to me straight. Please, don’t play around. I’m your friend.” Bruce felt that Tony needed to be reminded that he had people on his side, especially when there were others who were against him. At the mention of Wanda, Tony's face scrunched up into a sort of indifferent scowl, and he shrugged his shoulders. "She made herself known with her usual grace." He could not help but smirk a little at how she had ruffled Bruce's feathers, but he was not surprised to hear that Wanda had seemingly not accepted responsibility for her own actions. She was young and powered by grief and vengeance. And he knew from experience how, until she let that go, she would never accept responsibility for her own role in what that grief and vengeance had wrought. It was something he was working on himself. "Let's just say she won't be having me over for goulash any time soon." He crossed his arms over his chest as Bruce spouted his placating words of friendship. He knew it was something they would have to discuss, but all the same, he would rather not. He looked at the other man for a beat and then another before he finally rolled his eyes. "It's a matter of accountability. Oversight. There was another incident after Sokovia. In Nigeria. People died." Tony did not feel the need nor did he have the energy to go into details. "There was a question of authorization. The V word was thrown around. The UN came up with a protocol for the deployment of enhanced individuals, but mostly the Avengers. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it was a starting point. Something we could work with, or work around, if needed. That's where it started. Until Barnes got involved." Tony was staring into his mug, then picked it up and took a drink. He looked back at Bruce. "You know about him?" “Goulash is overrated.” This was Bruce’s dismissive way of saying that he didn’t feel any great loss over not having Wanda as a friend. Sure, it would be much better that everybody got along, especially since she was an Avenger and a teammate, but Bruce had no control over her attitude. Hopefully in the future, they could work something out, but until then, Bruce wasn’t going to hold his breath, and was glad to hear Tony didn’t seem that concerned about it, either. Bruce listened to Tony’s story, nodding his head at intervals. “Everything I’ve been told about the Accords makes sense. Hypothetically. Like you said, it’s a start. But somebody told me that the project was run by Ross?” The mention of the General’s name caused a dark shadow to cross over Bruce’s face. “That must’ve been awkward.” It wasn’t really the word he wanted to use, but he was being cynically ironic. “He’s had it in for me for a long while. I’m really glad that I wasn’t around, or else it would’ve made things even more difficult.” Barnes’ name made Bruce pause and hesitate before speaking again. “I was told about him. They… also told me about what happened to your parents.” Bruce’s forehead wrinkled with concern. “I’m really sorry, Tony.” "The Accords were going to happen. Whether we wanted them to or not. At least this way, we would be in a position to make decisions about how they were going to go." Tony sighed at the mention of Ross. He had history with the guy. Nothing like Bruce, of course, but there was definitely a mutual loathing between the two of them. "Not exactly. He's the Secretary of State, Bruce. He's a prick, but he's the prick in power. I've been doing my best to mitigate his bullshit." So far, he had managed not to get himself arrested. Being Tony Stark had its perks. "Rogers has tunnel vision when it comes to Barnes." He seemed not to acknowledge Bruce's sympathies, grateful he didn't have to go into that part of the story. "He lost his head. And I'm not so sure he's got it back on." From what Tony could tell in the little bit they had spoken over the network, Steve was eager to bury the hatchet, but clueless about the damage he had caused. “Secretary of what?!” Bruce flopped back in his chair and ran his fingers through the greying curls of his hair out of exasperation. “Shit.” When they left Sakaar with Thor, Bruce had hopes of returning to Earth and possibly getting away with rebuilding his life (again), but with Ross in such a high political position, that made it seem nearly impossible. He sat limp in his seat for a moment or two before reluctantly going fuck it, and sat up straight to lift his mug for a drink. “So much for that,” he muttered, but continued the conversation by telling Tony, “I understand where you’re coming from with the Accords, believe me. I think you did the right thing. A decision had to be made. It just… sounds like one hell of a time. Taking sides, fighting one another….” He gave Tony a look. “You think Steve is still sore? I know Wanda is. What about the others who took Steve’s side? How about Bucky?” "The sides really had nothing to do with the Accords. It was all about Barnes and what we were meant to think he'd done. After the bombing, the higher ups wanted him brought in. I'm sure it's no surprise to you that Ross was very much in the 'shoot first, ask questions later' camp. I convinced him to hold fire for 36 hours to bring in Barnes and Rogers, alive and in one piece. They wouldn't come quietly. That's when the fighting started. That's when Rhodey... well." Tony waved his hand in the air as if it was no big deal, but the look in his eyes clearly said otherwise. He downed the rest of the ale from his mug and slapped it down onto the table with a hollow thump. "I think he's sore things didn't go his way. He sent me a letter afterwards with some half-assed apology, but..." Tony shrugged. He was being more dismissive of Steve's letter and the phone that accompanied it than he actually felt, but cynicism came more naturally to him them sincerity. "Barton's still bent out of shape, not that I blame him. But he seems willing to put it behind him. I've been told that Barnes has been deprogrammed, they both have, but beyond that, your guess is as good as mine." He stared at Bruce for a moment, tapping his fingers on the table in front of him as if it were a drum, before adding, "So, that was my summer vacation. I think yours wins on cool points. Space gladiators, devil's anuses, rainbow bridges... Hard to beat that." He was trying too hard to sound as hearty as the fantastical environment seemed to require. Holding his fist against his mouth as he listened, it wasn’t hard for Bruce to read between the lines. He knew Tony well enough to know when he was using flippancy and sarcasm to cover how he really felt. Tony liked to pretend he was untouchable, aloof, and above it all, while inside he was actually very sensitive. Oh, but Tony would never admit to that, Bruce knew better not to confront him directly. All Bruce knew how to do was silently sympathize and be try to be as best a friend as he could. “Well, we’re here now. That’s something, right?” He glanced around at their surroundings. “Not your usual Renaissance festival, we’re in fucking Middle Earth. Maybe this can be your chance at that vacation, to make up for the sucktastic one you had, last summer?” It wasn’t much, but it was the best offer Bruce had at the moment. "Right you are!" Tony chimed in with a terrible English accent. He was more committed to his act now. He picked up his empty mug and clunked it against Bruce's. "Drink up. Next round's on me." Nevermind that everything was miraculously free here on the fictional tourism planet. "Maybe later we can go look for the White Tree and break into the Citadel." Bruce knew it was an act, but while Tony remained in denial and glossed over how he really felt, then Bruce wasn’t comfortable with confronting him. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t veto Tony’s poor choices. “Uhhhhh… let’s not break into the Citadel.” he spoke hesitantly. “I don’t think they have a sense of humor about that here, and their prison is probably not hospitable as the ship’s brig.” “The ship has a brig? What do you suppose a guy’s gotta do to wind up in there?” |