WHO: Leia Organa Solo, Anakin Solo, Jacen Solo WHEN: Back on Jan. 29 shortly after Jaina's disappearance. WHERE: Climbing wall. SUMMARY: Jaina's gone and the Solos who are left seek one another out. WARNINGS: None, really.
Anakin Solo didn't like to think of himself as having anger issues. I mean, sure, he was angry sometimes, and he'd been told by Master Ikrit that he should be wary of that, and probably Master Ikrit was right, but he didn't plan to stay angry. At the same time, he didn't really think it was unreasonable to be amazingly pissed off when it felt like you could wish for people to show up, and get a tantalizing taste of what it would be like to have those people here to talk to and have back in your life, and then for reasons that were both completely random and yet sometimes felt remarkably personal at the same time, it was taken away again.
And he'd gotten his hopes up, he knew that.
When Jacen and Jaina had both shown up, at the same time, he'd had a half hope that they might get his Dad back too, and maybe a Han Solo that would actually remember him, although maybe one before Serendipal, because Anakin would be all right with the Dad he remembered from before the war, before everything had gotten complicated. He'd had a half hope that he might get Uncle Luke as well, one who remembered him, if he were really, really hoping, the Uncle Luke that had given him so much instruction and wisdom over the years? That was the one he wanted.
And he knew he shouldn't be dismissive of what he did have. He'd been left nearly alone before. He'd had the only mother in his life be one who wasn't his and didn't think of him as his son. He'd lost his siblings before not once, but multiple times, and always it felt as sudden as anything. It was the price of living here in this particular universe.
What he wanted was a place to run. A game of Capture the Flag maybe. But the ship, as large as it was, didn't have the same freedom that could have been found on the Island, or Tumbleweed, or even Mount Weather had a multiple mile barrier.
So he found himself at the climbing wall, staring at it and wishing it were the temple grounds on Yavin IV. He wanted a maze, and his lightsaber, and maybe his siblings, or Tahiri, or …
He pushed the wishes out of his mind and tried to focus down into the moment, his mind taking in the wall in front of him as he stepped forward to star his way up, and down. One foot in front of another, one hand up, it wasn't really a challenge, but it was a way to concentrate his focus, and right now losing himself in that was enough.
Leia found Anakin first, using her connection to him in the Force to track him down. She didn't know what she was going to say to him, or to Jacen. She knew they were upset; she was upset as well. Every time she thought she was going to have a chance to really get to know and understand her children, something happened that seemed to take that away from her.
She hovered a few feet away from the climbing wall, glancing up at Anakin where he was descending down it. "Anakin, do you want some company?" she called out to him.
Anakin pulled himself back to the moment, aware of the sense of his mom, and he sighed, but looked down at her for a moment, before scaling the wall down and landing with a slight jump on the ground.
"Hey," he offered, not sure what to even say. He'd ran out and probably should have stuck around. His mom might not remember him or Jaina or Jacen from at home, but that didn't mean she wouldn't be upset about Jaina's loss either. He stepped forward to give her a quick hug, and then stepped back, sticking his hands in his pockets and looking back up at the wall. "I guess?"
“Good thing, because you’ve got some,” Jacen said by way of greeting as he found his mother and little brother in time to hear their exchange. He’d spent a little time with Violet before realizing that what he needed at this moment was his family. With a promise to find her later and the hopeful request that she join them all this evening, he’d gone off in search of them, which hadn’t taken long. Not only did he have the Force to guide him, but he’d known where Anakin was likely to be.
Anakin wasn't that surprised to see his brother approaching. Thing was, he would have guessed that Jacen would find him, and while he had been frustrated and needed some space, he was also glad to see both his mom and his brother here. It didn't erase the gaping hole where Jaina had been, but it reminded him that as frustrating as this was - he wasn't here by himself. He had family still.
"I guess I should have expected that," he gave Jacen a muted half-grin and a shrug. "I just…" he waved vaguely at the wall. "Wanted something else to do for a bit."
Leia watched the two of them for a moment, quelling the surge of jealousy about them knowing one another and her being the odd one out, even if she was their mother. She just wasn't their mother yet. She knew the feeling would fade eventually - it did the more she got to know Anakin (and Ben, but it was different with him). Right now it was just having the two of them together in front of her.
"I can understand that. I've always been the type to find something to do to take my mind off something I don't want to think about. I'm sure you get that from me. Though I suppose your father does too, seeing how often he goes and fiddles with the Falcon."
“It seems to run in the family,” Jacen agreed after being quiet for a moment. Truthfully, there was a part of him who wanted to be off on his own, looking for a distraction. He wanted to be with his family, but standing here without Jaina just drove home the fact that she was gone.
Anakin shrugged. "Well, there's no Falcon here," he said, trying not to sound as petulant as he felt about that, although he was pretty certain he wasn't succeeding. There was no Dad, nor Jaina either, just his Mom and his brother, and while he was glad - so glad - that it was the three of them at least. It didn't mean that he still didn't feel the loss of his sister, or the absence of his father. Or for that matter, Chewie, or his Uncle Luke, or Aunt Mara. There had been times that all of them had been there, although rarely, it seemed, all at once.
"Sorry," he muttered, feeling ridiculous. He reached his hand up to the back of his neck, massaging it for a minute. "I didn't really know what else to do so…" he waved a hand at the climbing wall. "I'm not sure it helped though."
"I'm not sure anything will help right now," Leia said quietly, giving her two sons a smile. She reached out to rub Anakin's back and touch Jacen's shoulder. "But I do like that we're all still here together, that we have each other for this support. I'm sure it's much easier than if one of us were here alone."
Jacen nodded at his mother’s words. There wasn’t much that could soothe the ache of missing Jaina, but it was better having his mom and brother here than it would be to have lost them, too. Jaina, at least, he knew would be alright at home. She’d slip back into life there, forgetting all about Tumbleweed and what she was missing here. It wasn’t them same as it would be losing Anakin or losing all of his family here at once.
“I’m glad you’re both here,” he said, looking between them and offering a small smile.
Both his mother and his brother were right, and Anakin knew it. He had family here, even if Jaina had left. It could have been both Jaina and Jacen - they had arrived together after all and it wouldn't have been so strange if they left together either. But they hadn't. He still had his brother and he still had his mother.
"Yeah, me too," he offered, looking back at the wall for a moment and then he turned his attention to the family in front of him. "Maybe we should just go do something together for the rest of the day. I don't really know what, but… we're here together and we should take advantage of that."
"I always want to spend more time with the both of you," Leia agreed. "We could finish up here and then go find something to eat, the three of us."
Jacen wasn’t sure if he was in the mood to eat, but he found himself nodding anyway. Whether or not he was actually in the mood for food, he did want to spend this time with the two of them. “That sounds like a good idea,” he agreed.
Anakin wasn't certain he could eat. In fact it seemed likely that he wouldn't be able to, but maybe he could do something to drink with the two of them, and if they did that, at least they could talk a little and maybe he and Jacen could just tell their mom all sorts of stories about home and about Jaina and she could learn something about all three of them. It was maybe the next best thing to being together.
"Yeah, we could do that," he nodded. "If you want."
Leia used to think anything could be fixed with food, but she wouldn't be too bothered if neither of them wanted to eat. They could always find something else to do if they needed to. She slid an arm around either of them, tucking herself in between them both, and smiled, albeit a little sadly. "I'd like that," she told them both.