It is not something I am proud of having done. There's a lot I'm not proud of and I hope you understand why it has taken me time to even begin to tell you all this. We've had this discussion before, twice in fact, but finding time to go over it is difficult. And I didn't want to risk James or Lily or hell, even Lucy, showing up and asking questions that might make you wonder what they are talking about.
I know you don't mean to. I don't want it sounding like I don't appreciate and love our family. But the distance was something that I really began to enjoy. I liked functioning on my terms. It wasn't ever, exactly, fair.
There's also the topic of Helena we need to discuss. This [...] is where I'm most truly sorry, Mum/